Update: I’m improving hella. I’m still getting intrusive thoughts about doing sexual things and seeing images, as well as false attractions but the anxiety’s nearly gone. But that scares me. Does that mean I was gay this entire time? Does that mean I was bi this entire time? It brings up so many questions and logical fallacies that my head hurts and gives me a headache.

So then how do I counter these backdoor spikes? Do I just do nothing? What do I do?

@Powerdak12 You keep going with ERP and ignore the little voice that tells you you're really just gay. Keep practicing responding to that voice with "maybe, maybe not" statements!

@Emma But it feels so real sometimes, like I’m actually gay or bi or something. Is that still OCD’s doing?

@Powerdak12 That question is a compulsion and you need to stop asking it. You need to stop trying to prove that it's just OCD. https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/thoughts/interrupt-the-cycle-of-mental-rituals-in-ocd-with-may-or-may-not/

@Powerdak12 Dude, that's how I start feeling when my anxiety dies down or I stop engaging the thoughts but they come more frequently. You just need to accept the thoughts which sucks because it's the last thing you want to accept. Believe me it rough for me too (especially with the graphic thoughts lately).

@Jbm421 This just happened to me right now and I’m currently sad at the moment. I was given up on. This had to happen to me eventually. I knew that this would happen. A redditor decided to DM me to try and help me with my HOCD. I was giving her all the facts she needed to know, and she was telling me to listen to her. So I calmed down and I told her I would listen, and she asked if I had anxiety. I started to tell her that I had anxiety and that I would rather have anxiety than be gay or bisexual, but she didn’t respond. So I was constantly asking if she was there and saying hello? (Bad move on my part and I apologize for that) and she told me she didn’t want to help me anymore because I seemed “impatient and annoying”. WTF? I was anxious and scared and I shouldn’t have annoyed you. I apologize for that. But I was willing to listen to what you had to say and was being respectful to you. I always listen to people and use their advice. That’s what I do with everyone I DM from the forum and thanks to them I’m feeling much better than I was 5 months ago. If the person who gave up on me is reading this, you’ve made me feel a lot worse than you could ever imagine. I’m sorry for annoying you however, and it was not my intention to do so.

@Powerdak12 She wasn't a therapist. No stranger on Reddit can be a therapist for you

@Powerdak12 You can only get so much from someone on these forums. Tbh, I don't like coming on here too much as I feel it can become compulsive. I just vent when I need to. Keep the faith brother. I've done more than I thought possible while like this. I know we can beat this. It just takes time. We can only support each other as much as we can.