I was given up on. This had to happen to me eventually. I knew that this would happen. A redditor decided to DM me to try and help me with my HOCD. I was giving her all the facts she needed to know, and she was telling me to listen to her. So I calmed down and I told her I would listen, and she asked if I had anxiety. I started to tell her that I had anxiety and that I would rather have anxiety than be gay or bisexual, but she didn’t respond. So I was constantly asking if she was there and saying hello? (Bad move on my part and I apologize for that) and she told me she didn’t want to help me anymore because I seemed “impatient and annoying”. WTF? I was anxious and scared and I shouldn’t have annoyed you. I apologize for that. But I was willing to listen to what you had to say and was being respectful to you. I always listen to people and use their advice. That’s what I do with everyone I DM from the forum and thanks to them I’m feeling much better than I was 5 months ago. If the person who gave up on me is reading this, you’ve made me feel a lot worse than you could ever imagine. I’m sorry for annoying you however, and it was not my intention to do so.

I’m sorry Emma. I know I constantly post on here, but I’m scared. I’m scared that I might be left alone with this thing and everyone abandons me. I don’t want to be alone.

@Powerdak12 You need to seek treatment. I'm not telling you this because you need to apologize to me, I'm saying this because you are making yourself sicker every day. I see this in every online support community for OCD. You need real help. If posting in horror and fear made people better, you would be by now. But you aren't. It's time to seek a real solution.

@Emma I can’t afford therapy, and even if I could, I don’t want to stress out my parents even more by asking so. I need to do self ERP and mindfulness but I’ve been wanting a person to help me along the way, to guide me through this without giving up. But it feels like everyone is.

@Powerdak12 You're asking someone to be your full time therapist for free. No one is willing to do that. You aren't doing ERP if you're doing compulsions whenever you get too anxious.

@Powerdak12 Doing exposures occasionally and then engaging in all these compulsions is not ERP. ERP means resisting the compulsions.

@Emma Should I delete my reddit and everything for ultimate exposure?

@Powerdak12 You should absolutely delete Reddit!! Please order a book on ERP to work through and stay away from online OCD communities. They are full of sick people making each other sicker. I recommend Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson.

@Emma I’ll do just that. I deleted reddit right now. I’m sorry for causing so much trouble for everybody on here. I’ll do ERP and make sure to get this over with. It’s people like you that make HOCD easier to deal with. Thank you for waking me up

@Powerdak12 You've got this, man. Sometimes the internet just sends us into a spiral. I get it. See about a support group in your area and stay away from posting online. Good luck :)

@Emma Thank you. It’s just that with HOCD, it’s sometimes very hard to distinguish what’s real or not. Like, I don’t want to be gay or bisexual but my HOCD makes me feel otherwise sometimes

@Powerdak12 Log off, man, it's night. You have posted all of those words before and they haven't helped you. Why make yourself worse doing it again