- Username
- abdul8
- Date posted
- 4y ago
...or back to normal.
You will be. Donβt give up on yourself. You are loved and will get over this soon. People wonβt give up on you. People gave up on me unfortunately.
Sorry to hear that bro. My family is very loving and patient with me. I've been at this crap on n off for 10 years. The last few months have been hell and over the last week the triggers have intensified as I learned more and done some ERP almost as a way of keeping this shit going longer. I'm really trying hard as I'm getting too old for this shit to keep ruining my life...
ERP can get you there if you are willing to commit :)
I stopped ERP when school started because itβs hard to allocate time, but I need to, because ERP was definitely helping!
@jgutz ERP helps but its difficult and you need to be careful.
Yeah things will get better mate stay strong π
Ive had this shit going on longer than 10 years. And just recently shits got really bad i actually think im in denial and i try to accept it but it just doesnt feel right. I just want my desire for women to come back. I feel hopeless. Are you on medication?. I came off mine for 3months dont think it was a good idea. Im back on my medication now for 2 months and i feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel π
Sorry to hear that. No, never took meds. Don't want to. Probably not getting our old life back but we can probably still have a life. My mind really tries to convince but like you said it's not right because it's not us. I'm trying to keep hope but I keep failing.
Stay strong mate. What kind of thoughts do you have ?
Lately, it's been bad. I got triggered watching straight porn (I would normally avoid looking at anything involving the dude but I just love watching females get plowed) but I was trying to not avoid since avoidance keeps this going. So I was watching and it felt like crap with all the intrusive thoughts, so I changed the scene and went back to avoiding. Ever since, that shit has been hounding me bad. Now my mind always brings up a girl going down on a down dude (and honestly who wants to think of another dudes junk) every time to bring me down. Also my loss of attraction makes me worry like crazy.
Yeah i have the loss of attraction it fucking sucks my mind even says i dont like pussy but i know deep down i do. And also every guy looks attractive and i get images of guys in pants and stuff and penises and apparently i like it. I fucking hate this i just want to be chasing women around like i was 2 months ago π
Yup. 3 months ago, despite me still having this, it was mild. I want my drive back where I want to plow every other chick. I hate my life. I did some ERP and tried to stop avoidance so a lot of the stuff regarding dudes has gone away (it will pop up every now again) but this most recent trigger feels like its the only thing stopping me from beating this. π’
What thoughts do you get? i even get that there is some kind of feeling behind them.
Every time I get the thoughts or I get some kinda feeling behind it, I feel like my life is over.
I would give anything on this planet (with the exception of my family) to have my old, natural, basic attraction to females again. I'm getting too old for this shit..
I feel you mate. The one that gets me when i think about womens bits my mind is like cant stand pussy wtf. I want to love it like i used to. How does this happen ?
Honestly, we might just have to try not to think about females. That shit will come back on it's own. It sucks and its really freaking hard to do.
Think thats what ive been trying to do not argue with my own mind if that makes sense. Do you get the thought that you like cock now aswel cant believe im writing this. Thats how fucked up this is π
Dude you sound just like me. The best way I learned to combat this is to make fun of it, mock it by saying things like "ok that's cool. Send me more or stay as long as you like" while getting on with the rest of my day. It's not easy but it can help.
Cheers buddy. Also i cant think of sex with a women because if i do i get and image of a cock going in my backside or a feeling in my backside π
Dude, dial back the details a bit. But I totally feel you. I cant fantasize while I got this stupid shit in my head. I would at least love to think about my ex's but this shit has corrupted that for me.π₯π
I cant even bend over with out getting a thought
...oh I hate that. Seriously. That shit sucks. But try not to use the fact that we go through the same thing as reassurance. It will only make things worse.
Sorry mate just wanted to know im not totally fucked up. Dont mean to trigger
It's ok bro. I know the feeling. We just need to push through. Try to accept the thoughts and then go about your business. It's easier said than done. You're not fucked up, you just have OCD. It sounds simple but not.
sorry again didnt mean to go in to to much detail. Just needed to get it off my chest. Im 37 years old i shouldnt be going through this shit
Dude, I'm 38 and I feel the same way.
We will get through mate π
It all started when i was about 22 but just recently its just got out of control. Do you take medication ?
Mine started at 27/28 and recently completely ruined my summer. Don't take meds. Don't want to. My mind just triggered me while thinking about an ex, it pushed in a though about a porn of a chick n a dude. Last thing I want in my head is anything about a dude n his junk while I'm thinking about chicks. Of course while the thought is in my head, my mind tries to convince me that I want that shit. This is bullshit. I fucking hate my mind.
Stay strong mate. Do you get thoughts most of the day ?
Mostly from the time I wake till I go to sleep.
Same mate it sucks. I find there not as strong in the evening ?
Mornings are the worst. If I don't try to fantasize and I just mock the thoughts or keep occupied I'm good in the evening somewhat. But getting up in the morning and right before I sleep, the thoughts are fuck.
Cant get through a car ride with my bro in law without getting intrusive thoughts. This shit sucks.
Do you get false attractions ?
Yes I get that. Not as much lately but like I said my bro n law triggered me. It stopped though. Anyone can find a dude good looking. That's how this recent breakdown started but ERP helped with that. Funny enough, I started getting triggered by unattractive dudes. Lol
like i can tell if a guy is good looking i think everyone can
Yeah i think ocd can make every guy good looking
Think i just got a false attraction to some gay guy on tv good looking guy. But i could feel my anxeity go up and i got a bit flusterd and a weird feeling in my chest
It happens. Just accept and move on. Don't analyze.
My trigger is all about the thoughts along with loss of attraction. Shit is fucked up...
Trying not to analyze hard tho isnt it
Its damn near impossible. Once my mind is on something, its impossible to let it go. Like now, my mind is stuck on that porn trigger (one that I haven't seen in years and hasn't even been an issue but suddenly is in my head). Barely anything else is triggering me this bad but this shit just parked its ass on my mind.
i think im getting everything at the moment loss of attraction for women which sucks sometimes it comes and goes. Attraction to guys which sucks and the thoughts π.
Amen bro.
Cheers for the chat mate. Take it easy π
You too bro. I'm in the gym right now and no triggers except for my thoughts. We'll be ok it's just we gotta get over this hump.
Do you say things in your mind about guys ?. And then your like wtf was that
Occasionally. The mind is a piece of shit. From what i understand, because our mind are so use to this crap it generates this stuff on random.
Because of the loss of attraction my mind is trying to convince again. Fuck my life...
Wouldnt even want to tell you the shit i say in my head ππ
Thanks for that. It gets bad like that for me too.
I cant even listen to music without being scared of getting thoughts its daft
Bro, literally anything someone says can trigger me.
Yeah i know what you mean you can be talking literally anything
Seriously, I was just talking to my bro about boxing n mma, and I got triggered. So fucking stupid.
Yeah i know i used to watch the ufc all the time but now i avoid it π.
But there is nothing to avoid. We do it to ourselves.
Obviously it blokes with there tops off. I do need to start watching again and say fuck you to this shit
Exactly. It's why I started going back to the gym.
Yeah i know you have to hit it head on
But ive stoped checking blokes with there tops off on google etc .. it never ends well. But im going to stop avoiding things and try and do the things i used to.
Never Google and never check. If you know how to do exposures then fine. But yeah, get back to you. I'm trying to do the same but its fucking hard. I'm a cyclist but my mind goes while I ride so I gotta try to listen to something while I'm riding. I stopped watch movies n tv not only to not get triggered by dudes but also because I do the thing where if if I'm not attracted to every girl on screen then it means I turned. How stupid is that?
Its the desire i want back for women. I think im trying to hard sometimes when im watching something with a women in it and she is fit i feel something but nothing like i used to i hate it
Bro we're clones. Also, I'm a latino from NYC so I have a thing for thick women (and nerdy chicks). But i cant feel shit sometimes and that kills me plus i haven't been with a chick in awhile. It's so bad bro.
Just shows you its an illness. I got no preference i just like women not to skinny tho lol
i have a gf and 2 sons so i dont get much action in the bedroom. Im kind of nervous im not going to like it as much. I guess thats the anxeity
That's anxiety and overthinking it bro. I can imagine how bad it can get. I get bad anxiety if I think of anyone or watch anything with people in a relationship. My mind tries to really fuck with me.
This morning when i woke up my mind said that i love mens bits. Im so fed up with this
I feel like this shits never going to leave me π
Yeah that what it's doing to me too. And it feels like it won't leave. I'm trying to push through all this though. Do things I been holding off or avoiding. It's a good way to show this crap up. Staying in bed or spending the day being stuck in my head isn't gonna help. We gonna be ok brother. Try to not engage the thoughts. Try to do things like saying hi to the thoughts or making fun of or mocking the thoughts. It take power out of its. It's not easy though especially in the morning.
I keep giving advice but can't follow it myself especially when I'm having the exact same thoughts. I'd be funny if it didn't kill a little bit of my soul everytime.
It trys to minipulate i think but im not giving in
I will say to myself im straight and my mind goes gay and trys to think of men
I just want to love women the way i did before. Even writing that my mind is like are you sure
How you doing today mate ?
My HOCD is nearly gone. But hereβs the problem. Iβve been agreeing with and accepting the thoughts for so long that I canβt get them out of my head now. Itβs horrible.
I'm not great but not terrible either. It's just so frustrating when I can feel my libido coming back a bit and I start to fantasize or think about my ex's but my mind snaps back to the trigger I told you about. Its awful but my mind tries to bring it up as if I want this shit because of how much it triggers me....
@Joo K Yeah that's a pain in the ass. How have you gotten rid of your hocd?
@Jbm421 But I'm trying to keep busy.
I feel like giving up ... have you ever acted out recieving anal to see your reaction or could do it with a man ?. This is so fucked up. I feel like giving up. I keep getting upset because i dont want this in my head
Dude, trigger warning please. Never test. It will only make it worse.
I know but is that normal with ocd
Mate sorry. Im just really struggling
I hear you bro. I was in the gym getting really triggered and now I have to be tested for Covid. I'm trying to not pay attention to the thoughts. Do you have anything to distract yourself??? Like a hobby or sport?
I dont get time mate i have 2 kids lol. Its good your going to the gym tho mate facing the fear being around men π. I workout in the garden when i can i have a power tower
Shit, I'd rather that. The gym doesn't trigger as much as my mind tries to make me think it does. I had high anxiety earlier but my worry was all about the loss of attraction. I want females back but I try too hard. Also, purposefully not avoiding dudes sucks. So, since I have to quarantine until I get my test results I'm gonna take it easy.
Do you get thoughts without seeing men ?
Oh yeah. I will get thoughts without any dude triggering me. I don't know what it is but the last few hours I seen some ultra sexy ladies but my intrusive thoughts keep fucking it up...
What kind of thoughts ?. You dont have to tell me. Just want to see if i can relate π
im fucking scared shitless
You hang in there bro. We are ok but we have a habit of getting worked up on our thoughts. I don't want to give you any reassurance because it will only make it worse. No matter how much you can seem to relate to me, you will always need more reassurance. Like right now, I was thinking of posting because the loss of attraction is such hell but I'm not gonna do that. Im just gonna try to do some other stuff. Keep occupied. I know you have kids but if there's anything, ANYTHING, you can do to get your mind off yourself for a minute, an hour or whatever just do it. Read something pleasant that won't trigger you, play a video game or play with your kids. Talk with a friend or relative about something not related to the topic. It helps let this thing drown into the background. Just trying to help bro.
Thanks mate appreciated. My brain seems to just want to think men but it just doesnt feel right. I feel like im having an arguement in my mind constantly π
Your brain is on autopilot because of the negative reactions you've had in the past to such thoughts. Its trying to protect you by bringing up that which you fear. The problem is, you don't like or want the thoughts so you fight your brain. The trick (and I mean trick because its hard) is to not fight your brain. Let the thoughts be and don't get into them and try to distract yourself.
Thanks buddy π. I seem to go over and over the same shit
That's what it does.
I will get i love c*ck proper fucks me up. When i actually think about it it disgusts me
Don't engage the thoughts.
π
how you doing today ?. Do you break down sometimes ?
Breaking down is part of it. Cant let myself go backwards. It's very easy to breakdown and cry but I'm trying to not let things trip me up while I'm doing ERP. Currently, feeling it in the morning. But I got outta bed and I'm playing some video games. Then, I'm gonna leave my sister's house to go back to Manhattan. Go to the gym, bike ride, more gaming, watch NBA finals, wash clothes. Stuff to do you know?
i nearly cry everyday
Why do i keep thinking of good looking guys in my head ?. What is this shit !. Do you get this ?
I try to keep busy but i just have men in my head π
Dude, it's not gonna go away right away. It takes time.
Also, constantly posting and asking for reassurance is not good. Try to minimize. I'm trying that now.
Sorry buddy. We can beat this π
Please tell me you get the same kind of thing ?
Any input mate ? Sorry
Sorry bro. I know its rough. Believe me. I was getting triggered all morning. Try not to ask for reassurance. It won't help. When you get the thoughts, say "hi how you doing?" Or "that's a good one bro! Thanks!" It disarms the thoughts.
@Jbm421 Right now, it's the loss of attraction that's getting me. It's a pain in the ass but I'm trying to take it easy and not let shit bother me.
It will come back mate for the both of us π
TOCD is making me really depressed. I just want to feel normal.
I want to be normal.. i dont want to have arguments with my mind.. i want to be a normal 12 year old.. i found out that i first started showing signs like 5 years ago maybe more but why does everyone else look so normal and act so normal and i dont? What did i do? Why do i deserve this? I just want to meet my friends and act normal ive planned when im older for me and my friend to get a tatoo and have late night drives and go to starbucks snd get nails done but that'll never happen you see people on instagram and they do all of these things but i wont be normal enough to do things like that and i really want ocd to go away im suck of crying all the time and not being able to tell people why i hate hate HATE IT god if there is one must have chose favourites
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