So i want to tell people my story...so i was out with some freinds when i was 22 came home that night and i had a thought cant really remember the thought that clearly but it was just a thought about my mate. Then i was like what if im gay i was suffering from anxeity and still was about a year before that always been a worrier and an over thinker. So the next morning i was so depressed i had no idea how this thought came about i kept breaking down and thought my life was over i started taking flouxetine 20mg which helped me manage but i would have good days and bad days with these thoughts. Fast foward 15 years im 37 now 2 kids. I stoped taking my medication for 3 months because i thought i was doing ok ... well having good days and bad days and i thought i would try and come off my medication. So now i feel like i did when i was 22 but i think worse. My mind can not stop thinking about gay stuff i get thoughts nearly all day long and i just cant carry on like this i cant imagine being with a man. Ive started back on my medication now for 2 months 40mg of flouxetine and im still really struggling. I just dont know if its because i came of my medication for 3 months that this shit just got a whole lot worse. Any input would be appreciated ?

Hey there! It’s very common to have a relapse when coming off medication, ESPECIALLY if you weren’t in therapy working with an ocd specialist first to gain the skills and tools you need to manage these thoughts without meds. How fast did you come off of your meds? Sounds like you were on them for a very long time and protracted withdrawal is more common than people realize, especially if you’ve been on meds for more than 5 years. I’ve had a very similar experience as you (trying to come off meds before seeing an ocd specialist, having a huge relapse of an old theme, feeling worse off than before.) I also started seeing an ocd specialist and recovered from that theme. And I’d highly recommend you do too if you can because going 15 years without real treatment is just unfair to you. Sounds like very classic ocd to me and starting some erp would really help you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now, especially with everything going on in the world and the added pressure of being a parent. But you can do this! You just need some resources to help you.

No trigger warning on this

Thanks appreciate your help 👍. Im doing cbt at the moment. I was taking 20mg a day then took it down to every other day day for a while and then stoped. Are you on medication ?

I said to the doctor i was cutting down because i didnt want to be on them anymore. Didnt realise how much i really needed them. Now im paying the price 😞. They seem to be taking longer to kick in aswel ?

Im just doing cbt. How do you do erp on your own?. I only used to be on 20mg of flouxetine now im on 40mg been on 40mg for about 5 weeks now going to give it another month and see if i need to go up to 60mg

Cheers. How long did your meds take to work when you went back on them ?

What ocd do you have ?