I’m starting to write this and even now I feel extreme anxiety. I feel like I can’t do anything without OCD saying I’ve done it wrong and something bad will happen to me, friends or my family. I feel like OCD has total control over my life sometimes and it’s so frustrating. I’m so scared and feel so helpless sometimes. Like I can’t talk to anyone about it. I feel like I’ve lost relationships because of it and it’s so hard to even explain to people what I’m going through. Mostly feel shame, for feeling less than normal, that I could be living life so much and just can’t. It’s so frustrating to feel this way.

Had to take a deep breath after reading that, it hit my heart. The things you've said feel so familiar to me. Feeling helpless, like everything is slipping away and you just can't grab it, like nothing is in your control. Thinking about all the things you've lost, all the things you could have had and done if there was no ocd. The shame, the guilt, unable to explain myself so people can understand. It's difficult but one thing I've learnt over the years is people will come and go, you will always lose people... but some, the real ones special ones, they'll stay. And living with ocd which includes reaching out for help or confiding in close ones is not an easy road, it takes time to even convince yourself that you want to really share this part of yourself with someone. It took me yearsssss to finally open up to my best friends about my ocd. I was extremely anxious about it but their response was so supportive. I knew they would not understand because they haven't experienced this and don't really know about ocd, but that did not stop them from listening to me which made me want to tell them more and more and over time I found that I was actually educating them too about ocd. It's important to know what you want out of telling someone... Is it that you just want someone to lend their ears, do you just want to let it all out, do you want comfort, do you need some motivation and a lil push of positivity when you're anxious, or are you seeking help from these people? Once you know what you want it, think is this the right person to tell, can I trust them? We have so many thoughts running around aimlessly in our minds, if we give them some structure we can also find some answers or steps to take or see some options.