POCD am I really becoming a monster? I’ve been dealing with POCD for months now I saw a video about accepting my unwanted thoughts then boom I felt like I enjoyed them even though I dont want to I guess to much expose may lead to be taking this obsession the wrong way? So um I have a bad porn addiction I’m into milfs usually when those unwanted thoughts pop up I try to find another porn video one time I was watching a porn and when I reached climax a shit load of unwanted thoughts popped up and it felt like I wanted them I felt nothing at the end no guilt, back then I’d feel guilty so I tried again to make sure that it was those thoughts and I’m not tweaking so it happens again at the end I was depressed knowing I don’t feel bad anymore so I tried self harm to feel better because I just don’t want to be a P now I feel like I am one and I made myself into and I don’t want to am I one?

It’s not easy becoming one? it’s easy being born into wealth ig? Sorry if I answered this wrong

@anonynon I’m pointing out that you could think as hard as you possible could, as often as you possible could, about becoming a billionaire and that doesn’t mean it happens in reality. So why would thinking about being a pedophile be any different?

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Yes. I am no expert, but maybe try to find some relief that you don’t feel guilt at the end. Maybe you have accepted that you have ocd and intrusive thoughts, so less anxiety about them. but l agree with the above person. You could think as hard as you can about something, but that doesn’t make it reality.

@lainemer So I’ve been struggling so long I don’t get anxiety or feel guilty but I still don’t want these thoughts, so I how do I deal with these thoughts I’m still anxious about becoming or am one in denial I still hate it when I feel like I did enjoy them any advice?

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Because I’m anxious of being one in denial or becoming one and I don’t want to

@anonynon Right, you’re anxious about it, of course. But that doesn’t make it any more likely to be true than if you thought constantly about being a billionaire.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett So basically I have to let it go and let it be some horrible memorie I don’t wanna get back to?

@anonynon You should explore ERP therapy with an OCD specialist. Which is available right here on the app!

@anonynon To me, it sounds like your intrusive thoughts have evolved in a way. So you got to the point where you accepted the thoughts and stopped feeling anxious and guilty about them. How do you feel about that? Do you see that as progress with your OCD? Or do you feel bad that the thoughts don’t cause you anxiety anymore? Maybe I am reading in to this the wrong way, let me know if I am. But is it possible that you don’t view overcoming the anxiety and guilt as progress, but as a bad thing? And therefore the thoughts have evolved to anxiety that you really are one?

@lainemer I don’t have anxiety anymore which worries me since the intensive thoughts are still there maybe it has evolved because I now have anxiety of being one or becoming so I do think it evolved in a way and I do feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett I’ll see I’m starting my therapy session next week but first I have to get diagnosed with OCD first

Delete everything that has to do with porn and go talk to someone you're close with about your addiction. You don't have to do this alone man. You're hurting yourself and you don't deserve that. You have to learn how to calm down your body naturally and not with escapes.