trying to resist the urge to confess on quora

Yes ! I searched a few things on there myself and now it has given my OCD so much fuel lmaoo. I wish I never did.

so for that reason, i’m trying to resist the urge to gain reassurance

@nina My stories god awful. My HOCD is making me think and feel like I enjoy the intrusive thoughts. Which I don’t. This is my story. HOCD shit My HOCD is horrible. I was pulling out clothes from my trip to Sedona a day ago. I was in my friends car for a long time and when I took out the clothes to put them in the wash, the first thing I noticed was the smell of my friends car. And now my HOCD’s got me thinking that since I noticed this, I’m gay or bisexual. And the car smelled good because of the freshener. So it’s like my HOCD is saying “oh you liked the smell of your friends car on your clothes? Then I guess you must be gay then.” Fucks sake

@helpplz i’m sorry that you’re experiencing something that causes you confusion and discomfort. i think it’s important to remember that ocd is the master of doubt. and it’s demanding. it likes to tell us that we have to figure these intrusive thoughts out - when we don’t. when the intrusive thought “what if i’m gay because of liking this smell” chimes in, i’d encourage you to think of the wonderful things you saw in sedona. you hold your own power 🌸

@nina I actually had a really funny but bad time at Sedona. I accidentally went into the woman’s restroom without me noticing the sign at the front of the door. I felt so guilty and remorseful because of it. I also broke my glasses while over there so I have to get new ones. And my false attraction was constantly present 24/7 during the entire trip. But going back to the intrusive thoughts. When I start getting these thoughts now, I get no anxiety from it, and I get this feeling like I enjoy it and that I want to do things with men when I don’t. It feels like I’ve officially turned gay because of ERP

@helpplz it was an honest mistake. i’ve had a very similar experience 🌷 new glasses = new cool looking frames 🌿 false attraction is tricky. by the sounds of it, you seem to be going through a backdoor spike - it’s when you feel less anxiety from the thoughts. exposure therapy is powerful , but not in the way that change a person’s orientation

@nina Can I ask how false attractions are tricky? I’m just confused on whether or not these false attractions are real and I honestly feel like you know the difference. May I ask how you can tell if attraction is real or not?

@helpplz I don’t know if this would help you at all to give the OCD a funny tagline or name? Maybe it’ll help you take these intrusive thoughts less seriously. For me what popped into my head was saying “fellas is it gay to...” that’s the meme. I hope you will find your way, friend.

@sheridani Thank you so much Sheridani. It’s like my HOCD is telling me that I’m gay this or I’m bisexual that, and it makes me feel like I’m starting to enjoy these thoughts due to my ERP

@helpplz Yes OCD will try to make you feel like you shouldn’t trust yourself, but keep pressing on despite the anxiety