Please god. I don’t want to be gay. I don’t want to be bisexual. These thoughts are making me think and feel like I enjoy them when I don’t. I don’t want this man. I DONT WANT THIS. Please god help me.

I’m also getting HOCD about the future and people figuring out. I hate the idea of being gay or bisexual. I even almost said I hate being gay or bisexual and that’s freaking me out right now. And I don’t want to be gay or bisexual because I don’t feel like it’s right. It’s not ME. I’m scared that if my parents or friends figure out about all of this, they’ll automatically assume that I’m gay or something.

I don’t want to be gay or bisexual at all and these thoughts just fuck with me every single day. The false attractions, and groinal responses feel real and it scares me as well. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual at ALL for anything and anybody. I hate the idea and concept, I absolutely despise the idea and concept. I’ve always considered myself straight all my life. Always dreamed, fantasized, and had crushes on women. Now all the sudden in 5 months, my life gets turned upside down, and I hate all of this with a passion. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual. At all.

@lypc All my life I’ve wanted to be straight. All my life I never questioned my sexuality in anyway. Despite false memories telling me otherwise. I want to be straight and it feels right for me. I want to be with a woman and I get no anxiety whenever I think about women. I just want to remain who I was before. And this HOCD makes me scared about the past, present, and future. I hate all of this.

@lypc I don’t have the money for therapy. My family doesn’t have medical insurance

@lypc 19 years old I’m taking a gap year for college and I’ve graduated high school. I just want to stay straight. That’s all I want. Why cant this HOCD go away