My partner had a panic about stuff today and i questioned myself saying can I deal with this forever 😞 the thing is I was happy last night spending time with him.. I am starting to believe I am not in love with him anymore that i am just forcing myself.. I don’t even feel forced that’s the thing... I know I love him a lot but i am scared it is truly me... 😞

I am scared that I can’t tell... I’ve been obsessing about being in love for 7 years... but it’s never been this bad.. 😞I drunk wine but now I am scared even more... I know I love him I know I do but I am scared to have sex with him...

@Mandy7710 Don't worry, you'll know the difference, The difference is see whenever you get random bad thoughts , those are the lies. Today it might be really bad or even this whole week, But soon enough it will start to calm down and you'll feel relieved that you didn't give up and you fought against those demons. Don't be afraid theres many people with the same problem that you feel you're not alone so if you ever need help with anything just reach out to somebody, or even try speaking to your partner about it, maybe him understanding better will help.

@Mandy7710 If you're scared to have sex with him, Don't, take your time until you feel comfortable and that you really want to. Be strong I'm here for you!

@Jessicuh The thing is I want to have sex. I know I don’t want to be with someone else 😭

@Mandy7710 If you really want to, Go for it, but you need to know If you really want it or if you just want it so you can get reassurance. But Remember whatever choices you make, We are all here to support you.

@Jessicuh 😞😞😞 the last time I had sex I questioned it... what if I am really doing it for reassurance? Before it got worse I loved having sex with him. We had sex a lot before everything got bad... now I feel like I wanna cry 😭 I really don’t want my relationship to end 😭😭 oh my god 😭😭 I don’t wanna be with someone else!!

@Jessicuh Either way I am gonna have sex

@Mandy7710 I understand the way you feel, you really don't wanna be with somebody else that's what you really want then! Your mind tells you all these bad things and it's causing all these problems for you, But see you know the truth, you really wanna be with him. So fight your demons and stay with him, but remember to keep yourself happy, and he will be the extra happiness you deserve.

@Jessicuh 😭😭 thank you 😭😭

@Jessicuh I just had the most amazing love making with my partner! 🤩 my head felt off during the end. I felt the feeling that caused me to be off in the first place. Like I’m okay being with someone else even though that’s not true. Or that he’s boring. I love having sex with him before this stuff happened I know I had random thoughts about him before but nothing like this

@Jessicuh What if it’s truly me...?

@Mandy7710 I'm proud of you, you took your first step it's starting to get better, You had sex with him and the thoughts calmed down a bit, whatever you're doing, whatever coping method youre using it's working!

@Mandy7710 The bad thoughts is not you , you may tell yourself things like his boring and you need somebody else, but you need to remember it's your choice, If you really wanna be with him, if you want to be with him, that's what you want, then keep him. whatever bad thoughts come to you, it's not you

@Jessicuh Why do i feel like I am better then!? 😞 why do I feel like it’s truly me!? 😭😭

@Jessicuh I feel like I am lying to him all the time... 😭 I am getting even more depressed

@Mandy7710 This is exactly what your mind wants you to feel, Don't be so hard on yourself, I promise it's not what you truly want and it's not truly you, this is the period of time where you will feel the worst but its gonna get better, trust in yourself. You will only get worse if you keep listening to the thoughts and believing them.

@Jessicuh It’s the feelings too 😞 whenever I kiss him I feel like I shouldn’t bc my stomach gets tight. Then I feel like I am more attracted to other men which never happened before. I’ve never been attracted to anyone but my partner. I am scared I won’t have sex with him again.. 😞

@Mandy7710 I get how you feel, I feel the same sometimes, but what I do is I try and think about positive thoughts like thinking of the future with my partner or thinking of All the new things I'm gonna try with my partner, Yes you'll still get bad thoughts and it's still gonna try and take over but you are strong and you will fight it. Mandy you are strong and you are powerful, don't let the ocd take over. It will be there for a while but its gonna calm down soon, Try going to a therapist or taking meds. Even if you're scared, please try it could save your relationship and you.

@Jessicuh I’ve had ROCD for years. I’ve always had a struggle with it but I was able to ignore it but this time I can’t.. 😞 it’s hard bc I always think negative.. Everytime I say I wanna move out with my partner my head is like no you don’t.. I am scared bc I am worried about being in denial 😞 when I truly think about having sex with someone else I hate it.. I dont wanna be that with with someone else. But my head makes me feel different... 😞

@Mandy7710 I'm sorry for how you feel, but I think your ocd is a starting to get out of hand because you've always just ignored it and bottled it up, I think you should get a therapist and if they give you meds you should definitely try it. Don't be scared okay, we're here for you