- Username
- Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thanks mate appreciate your input. Mine all started at 22 im 37 now and i was copeing quiet well up to about 2 and a half months ago i stoped my medication for 3 months and shit just got really bad i was watching porn and its like my brain went you like penises now i have been living a knightmare ever since its been hell đ
I dont want to come off the prozac because i think thats the reason im in this mess. I take magnesium glycinate aswel someone told my thats good. I really appreciate your support mate. Top man đ
Yeah stay on the Prozac. Helps a lot after some time. Good luck man đ
I have at various periods of my life thought of hurting myself or others constantly. The only âwhyâ to explain its occurrence was OCD.
You are human, anything in a sexual nature will get you going. What OCD does is it puts too much significance to the idea. Keep trying, at the end of the day you know who you are and what you prefer. It takes time but itâs a technique to train the brain to stop worrying. If you worry then the cycle of thoughts wonât go away I also posted on the main page on how I got over it, a lot has to do with porn escalation
Thats the problem im scared shitless
My mind is telling me im into men. And when i think of women my mind goes eww you dont like pussy. Its driving me crazy
Yeah Iâve been there. OCD feeds on fear so youâll feel tense during this. Best thing to do is give it time, cbd helps a lot with intrusive thoughts/Anxiety
One day youâll just snap back into reality, and be confused about what the hell did I go through What caused this way of thinking? For me it was a sex scene on American horror story of two men, I got aroused by the sexual nature in general but my Brain went full OCD/panic mode after that. At the end of the day weâre human, we can get aroused by almost anything lol
Porn is a bitch. Grow to hate it. Chase after women. Mine started at 22 as well. But stopping porn minimized my symptoms. There is the evidence in what you said, you went back to it, fetishes can come back even faster. People with OCD cannot do porn and thatâs the sad truth about it/: but in exchange you get benefits in life.
I just want to love women the way i did but i feel like they have been replaced by men. Also i get grional responses in my back side i cant even bend over without getting an image đđ
Those are fetishes. There are gay men who think they are attracted to females and get grional responses in the front. Look at your past, in high school or lowere did you ever think about men?
No never
For me Iâve been straight my whole life, then at 22 my OCD started. If youâve been straight your whole life thatâs Huge evidence that it might be OCD
I had a gf for 6 years when i was younger and i was gutted dont know if that was anything to do with it đ
Do you have other thoughts? As in Harm OCD etc?
Yeah same never had anything till then. Then one night it was like bang đ¤ˇââď¸
Try CBD as well , helped me feel normal. Itâs not THC so you wonât get high. Itâs the medicinal properties of the plant. It literally made me feel like myself when I took them
No but before all this i was suffering really bad with anxeity and panic attacks i used to be a bit of an hypocondraic dont know if i had health ocd or something ?
Whats cbd ?
Itâs legally available. They take out the medicinal properties from marjuana. Thereâs a lot of research that it helps people with OCD. So when I tried it, I was so happy that it made me full normal, I could think straight. Aroused by woman. Taking it basically told me that something was wrong with me, that all those thoughts were from OCD. Because after ingesting it, no more bad thoughts.
Yeah same here. Looks like you have the same story as me on how I started out. I took a dab once of wax and thought it got washed with chlorine. It put me into full panic mode and ambulances came(it was my first panic attack) . I was healthy by the end of it all. It was embarrassing but thatâs what OCD does to you
So you think its all linked ?
Yes most likely. People with OCD suffer from panic attacks/Anxiety/urges/impulsivity/depression etc
How are you doing now?. How did yours all start ?
I just feel like these thoughts are constant đ
Much better, I still have depression and anxiety but way less than how it was before. And for me it started after I saw a sex scene of American horror story of two men. Then went to the theater to watch JOKER. It fucked me up lol then I thought I was going crazy, felt I was a bad person for having urges/thoughts of the worse things imaginable, couldnât even be around my lil brother... I almost threw up at the thought of me committing these acts. I had enough, was desperate for help, appointments were months away. So I admitted myself to a mental hospital where I stayed for 2 weeks. I was already taking Prozac, and trying all sorts of pills. Finally I was ready to go home after my thoughts went away.. either the Prozac finally kicked in or my episode just faded away. I then tried CBD to eliminate the remaining symptoms that I had. And it helped me snap back. Donât get me wrong I still get these thoughts but once in a blue moon as it should be.
Im really scared mate. Im not going to get back to where i was. I just have men on my brain and i make comments like hes fit and i want his cock its fucking unreal
Try CBD and quit porn for good. Never go back to it. Limit watching R-rated films/TV shows. Balance what you watch basically. Do this and see where it goes. And if it fails trust me itâs not the end of the world. At the end of the day you might be Bi-curious. Nothing wrong with that. And I know how that may feel, you donât want to hear that part thatâs why itâs a last option. I honestly think the whole world is bi-curious. Weâre creatures that like to fuck lol itâs just what you prefer(:
How do i get cbd. Ive been on prozac
How do i get cbd?. Ive been back on prozac for 2 and a half months and not much change. Did you use to say stuff in your head ?
You can order them online, go to a local marijuana despensary thatâs legit, or some pharmacy stores have some. You can get them as drops/gummies/pill form. Gummies worked best for me.
Can i get them from the uk ?. Also did you have attraction to guys in some way? What thoughts did you used to have ?
And by say stuff in your head do you mean by my voice, or hearing other toned voices ? I mostly heard my own voice, Iâd have huge dialogues in my head. If itâs your voice and no somebody elseâs itâs not schizophrenia.
Yeah like saying stuff in your head ?
And yeah I did, I thought I was gay. I told my gf and it was a huge mess but deep down I knew it wasnât true, Iâve seen gay sex scenes before and I have gay friends and never felt a thing. I was attracted to men and sick to say this I also had POCD. I couldnât hang out with my little brother, it haunted me too much. If I was too close to a guy Iâd think of his lips, Iâd get anxiety. Itâs all gone now. Sometimes I get groinal responses but I know thatâs just because it was of a sexual nature.
Even fucking will smith from men in black lol. Iâve seen that movie 100 times, and after my stressful incident I all of a sudden became attracted to him. Iâm not anymore
I got grional responses in my back side and loads of anxiety When there were 2 gay men together and talking about gay stuff
Just because you think theyâre attractive it can cause that anxiety too. Models.. Men or woman. Your brain tricks you thinking âoh heâs attractive, time to get anxiety and flow blood down to that areaâ itâs a respond that you need to break apart from. Why ERP helps so much
I can get cbd from amazon whats the best one?. Also can i take it with prozac ?
Iâm not sure youâll have to trust yourself on whatâs the best brand but try to make sure they are legit and not fake gummies.
And yeah I think so ask your dr. I took it with Prozac for a bit.
Did you get thoughts constantly ? This just doesnt feel right somehow
You gone mate ?
Sorry went to go eat lol but yeah 24/7 your thoughts donât leave you alone. I used to pace back and forth with my arms crossed tight cause they cause me so much distress.
I had harm OCD too where I feared I was going hurt someone
Its fucking me up mate
surely if i was gay i wouldnt be in this distress i keep breaking down. About 3 months ago i was chasing women about couldnt get enough. I dont think i could have loved women more than i did im so fucked off
Just tell yourself youâre bi-curious that has helped me. It calms you down from going back and forth with yourself. Youâll always be curious no matter what throughout your life. At the end of the day youâll know who to marry and love. The rest is just LUST
If you werenât gay in high school or around there then your true side is straight.
Cheers mate appreciate your help
No problem man, youâll look back at this one day just as many of us do when we recover. Just be wary it comes and goes throughout your life.
I never questioned myself until i was 22 just bang all of a sudden after 1 thought
What kind of images did you get ?. I get images of guys in there pants etc or when i look into the garden i get images of muscular guys with there tops off. Its fucked up
For me my images were horrifying, I wish I saw naked men lol I thought they were delusions at first but images can be part of intrusive thoughts. Mine were violent, everywhere I saw, especially woman I would imagine a gory image of them. They flashed through my head. Couldnât look people in the eyes. Sometimes it would happen when I looked at men too. Iâd get flashing images of every dark showe Iâve ever watched. Everything that went against my morals just came back to haunt me at once
Sorry to hear that mate. Just walked in the bathroom and got a image of one of the jonas brothers walking towards me with tight boxer shorts on đ
Now you have me that image lol tell him to get his ass back home
Gave
Lol fucksake sorry mate
I did i said get the fuck out lol
All good lol well I hope I made your day better and gave you all the information that helped me through my OCD(: wish I could tell everyone with OCD but itâs difficult. If it works for you spread it and help another fella out lol
You mean the cbd ?. Yeah of course i wouldnt wish this on anyone. How long did it take for you to get where you are now ?
CBD and the techniques, and how to prevent another episode. And my episode lasted for more than 3 months. I still have OCD as in suicidal thoughts, depression and I have the same routine everyday, I still isolate at times. Why Iâm going to therapy to help me with getting out this depressing routine. But itâs mostly just depression now, Iâll take over my episode any day
Yeah same. Im going to see how the prozac goes first because ive only been back on it 2 and a half months. Cheers mate
Yeah give it 3 months, takes 8 weeks to start noticing changes. And good luck man, wish you the best. Iâm here if you have any questions or breakdowns.
Can i ask mate did you used to so gay stuff in your head ?. Like i just said i want his big package đ.
No it was always questioning. Like âam I attracted to his abs?â Never wanting it tho
But i know i dont tho đ
I just said to myself in the mirror im gay. But it just doesnt feel right im so confused
Im really struggling again didnt feel to bad yesterday in the evening
Meditate during these moments. It really helps clear the mind.
Have to hear your breathing for more than 5 minutes though. Focus on your body and not the outside world.
I feel like im in denial. I dont want these thoughts in my head. I feel like im acting talking and look gay aswel ?
Im worried mate
I keep thinking im going to have to leave my family because of this
I need help
You alrite mate ?
Sorry mate really struggling
If you have a gay friend ask them for advice. They will understand what youâre going through. Some gay men are really pushy though so be careful, theyâll insist your gay and wonât even care about your OCD.
Hey sorry I took so long, but how are you feeling rn? And is your family very religious/skeptical about Sexuality changes?
Take this advice if you want cause I know how distressing calling yourself this can be. But try to just tell yourself youâre âBi-curiousâ Not Bi-sexual, Not Gay. This just lets you know youâre human with thoughts. Youâre curious about Everything. If you really feel like your in denial ask a trusted friend to help you out. Give him a kiss and hug to see how you feel, if theyâre comfortable with it. Some men with Sexuality OCD feel disgusted with themselves after committing a gay act, and it proves to them that it was ocd the whole time. Thoughts can go away with the ultimate reassurance. Facing the fear.
No fuck that i dont want to kiss no man lol. My family would support me i just dont want this for myself
Then give it time and try out the techniques Iâve learned throughout my experience with OCD. Get cbd for these types of days. Theyâre anti-psychotics and have the ability to restore chemical imbalances in the brain .
@JohnnyisMe Why I gained my arousal back, Prozac is similar to cbd but they still differ. Les side effects from cbd
Cheers man. How many mgs were you on ?. Im on 40mg
How you doing mate ?
Iâm tired of my âHOCDâ. I donât even know if itâs OCD. Iâve never thought I was gay before in my life and now itâs convinced me that deep down I want to be with a man. I can barely talk to my girlfriend without having intrusive thoughts. I canât even tell an intrusive thought from a feee flowing thought anymore. I try to make myself think about women and it keeps happening. Even when I look forward to something in the future Iâll get a thought âbut youâre gayâ. Iâm tired. Iâve talked to some of my friends and family and itâs a weird issue. No one else is going through this that I know of. If all I think about all day is being gay then I must be gay. Even if I find reassurance itâs not enough I donât even accept it. Maybe this all happened for a reason. Iâm never going to wake up and these thoughts wonât be there. I donât even care anymore, Iâll just be alone or be gay.
My initial thoughts are not as scary bc Iâve been doing erp. For example, when an initial thought comes across I donât go into panic mode, instead when the thought comes across I tell myself âmaybe yes maybe noâ and I feel better. But the thing that is getting to me is that the next thought is usually âdid you just suppress a gay thoughtâ and that makes me go into panic mode. And I feel bad because Iâm like damn if I am suppressing these thoughts that would be sad like why cant i just decide on one so that I could be happy. You know? And I didnât have these thoughts before. Itâs so annoying because I constantly feel like what if Iâm in denial. And it makes me question whether Iâm happy with or attracted to my boyfriend. I want to be happy so Iâm like do I leave him and maybe date women, but then Im like oh no i donât want to do that I want to be with him and be happy with him. Anyone going through something similar?
My mind keeps jumping to conclusions that Iâm in denial and i have to come out , crazy how a thought went from âwhat if Iâm gayâ to âwhat if Iâve always beenâ to âyouâre biâ to âyouâre gsyâ to full on statements and conclusions, like coming out and being in denial , as homophobic as this sounds everytime i see something gay i get an ick im not disgusted, very slightly, i was never like this, now Iâm contemplating if i ever even liked women when i know i have before. I have nothing against gay people but i just donât wanna be gay , saying that makes me feel uneasy which makes me more confused. Idk what Iâve become at this point .Now Iâm doubting every life decision Iâve taken and gosh i wish me and my ex lasted, i was happy, even when we fought i remember telling myself weâre gonna get through this weâll be fine, here i am doubting everything, at the same time wishing me and her lasted, regretting how i treated her, then the ocd part uses the fact that i went soft a few times with her and lost all interest in women after the break up against me, and then its basically convincing me to say that i am gay, none of these adds up . My brain keeps showing me images of being with men and happy about it and i donât want that, i donât think i ever did, then itâs like oh movies and tv shows have influenced you to think you should be with women , and then Iâm here like if that was the case Iâd feel uncomfortable and feel out of place , Iâve never felt that, i felt good with women and all as long as she was clean didnât smell ofc but yeah now Iâm so fucking lost.
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