My rocd is playing tennis with itself. When my s.o. is in a good mood I feel annoyed and irritated, when they're in a bad mood I fear they're going to leave me. It's so frustrating. I've been trying to sit with the discomfort and/or ignore it, but it's exhausting. Has anyone else ever dealt with this? Any suggestions for what to do?

Yes!! I deal with this exact thing. I completely understand how frustrating it is and how it plays with our emotion as well (sometimes I feel like I am crazy because I flip flop within hours - like you said playing tennis with myself). I Not sure if this is a good “therapy” but I have tried to identify what it is that I fear and then focus on “learning perfect acceptance of what is.” Viktor Frankl said “Between the stimulus and the response there is a space and in this space lies our power and our freedom.” This summarizes for as the power of our choice to sit with the discomfort (as you said). And I agree it can be exhausting. One thing I do is specifically “talk back” to OCD by saying things like “I do NOT give you permission to ruin this moment. I accept that you exist as a glitch in my brain but I do not give you permission to impact my life.” I will also “meditate” and breathe through the moments by saying “May I find peace” on the in breath and “May I be free” on the out breath. Finally, I will say to myself “I will NOT react to this. No matter what OCD says to me I will not react.” For me, it seems that one of my compulsions is to attach meaning to my thoughts; therefore, if I say the things above it helps me stay out of that mouse trap. Good luck to you!! I have such compassion for all of us and especially those of us that share similar themes. Stay strong and reach out if you need any thing.

I understand that as well. I had a GF lie to me and now I’m always waiting for another lie (even though I’m not dating her anymore). I think we tend to fear the absolute worst outcome abs our minds work ever time to identify anything that lay indicate that worst case will come true (catastrophic thinking). It makes daily living very difficult. But there are ways to work through it. Another of my favorite authors (Anthony De Mello) says: “Learn perfect acceptance of everything as it is.” If we can truly achieve this state of mind then nothing can actually cause us pain. For me, the key then is to just sit with any emotion or thought and let it be what it is. It’s just an emotion (feel it fully and it will dissipate) or a thought (DO NOT REACT TO IT). When I do those two things I always seem to feel better. But it takes an absolute commitment to never giving in. OCD wants control...you need to tell it (daily) that you REFUSE to give it control. I will feel every feeling and survive every thought by simply feeling and not reacting. I am praying for you and hope that you find peace. It might be worth checking out books by Anthony De Mello, Michael Singer, or Eckhardt Tolle. Their books have really helped me learn the techniques more effectively. And keep reaching out and asking for help. We are all on a journey of learning and recovery.

Part of the issue is they have trouble communicating their emotions and about a yr ago they exploded and wanted to leave and then calmed down and admitted they didn't want that but needed things to change. It really scarred me and from that trauma I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop and can't enjoy anything. I don't know what to do.