I felt like i needed to come out but something didnt feel right ? 😞

That’s a very common thought people with HOCD experience. It’s basically universal- the thoughts push you, but you’re like “woah. this doesn’t feel good.” Which caused the distress you’re feeling now.

No one ?

does your wife/gf/ any close one knows about it?

Yeah she knows about it. But i keep breaking down i think she is getting fed up. My thoughts are so detailed like i keep picture a guy in my shower when i go for a toilet

My mind is telling me thats what i want. Feels like i want it 😞

Just accept it, what's wrong with that..I was in your shoes a month back..I got fed up and just accepted it ..and it reduced.. it's like the ghost we see in movies, once you're ready to confront it, it's like you have denounced it and it gets smaller everyday

Thanks mate. I just dont feel like im making progress. I keep saying weird things in my head like im excited for the future with my boyfreind. Its fucked up 😞

read my latest post on this portal bro, you will understand how fucked up am I

What portal mate ?

on this app i mean, I posted my story around 5h ago. Check the post out if you want to

Ok cool

Mine all started when i was 22 im 37 i had one thought about a friend. And i thought i was gay i had i had constant images of getting done in the backside attraction to blokes etc then i kind of got it under control for all those years still used to have the thoughts but they didnt really bother me because i wasnt depressed and i was still well into women. Now my whole world has fallen apart i have loss of attraction and to womens privates. And all i can think about is men and penises they pop up everywhere images of guys and scenarios in my head. Saying stuff in my head towards men like i want his cock etc. Its horrible mate 😞

im totally lost

mate did you read my story?

Yeah i did mate 👍

what do you think about it then?

Not sure mate. Did you read mine ?

Probably something to do with the break up. I think mine sounds more severe than your which has got me worried 😞

I wanked off to a dick pic man , how can it be worse ?

But i say stuff in my head do you ?

yea, i used to..it has reduced significantly recently

What did you used to say ?. Are you on medication ?

I took Medicine for 4 days, and I basically went after it. as I mentioned in my post haha, I thought okay if i am let's find out ...I tried everything from grindr to watching same sex porn..and to be honest, at that time, it was either accept that for or just go crazy. I found out that even after doing all these things, nothing changed plus it didn't feel like myself, I felt weird and sometimes depressed. I mean it should make you happy right ..when I sleep with the girl, the next morning i feel like a king.. although i didn't sleep with anyone, but whatever i tried to do, it i think slowly killed the fear i had...I for now, know that I am absolutely not Gay or bi etc...i have started watching normal porn and going to gym because fuck the intrusive thoughts, really fuck this shit. I still sometimes get intrusive thoughts when i think about masturbating in the past to dick pics but I guess HOCD makes me people have sex with same sex people or even relationships, i am glad I didn't cross that line and tackled this shit in my own way

Good for you mate. What other symptoms did you have ?

Man, it was fantasizing about men and shit and what not..one thing that kept me going and believing in myself was that i never ever had a dream of this kind...in my dreams i was having a good time with beautiful girls but the days were spent thinking this BS. I guess your subconscious mind knows. Although i have read people with HOCD having dreams of same sex as well, so just speaking for myself

I am fall in love hard and quick with beautiful girls. Same with my libido, it was pretty crazy, more than any of my friends, sometimes HOCD affects what you love the most. So, I was tackling HOCD thoughts and i didn't even know it's called HOCD, i just thought I had gone gay, also, my girlfriend of 3 years had left me at the same time and at the same time, i was trying to quit smoking...it all kinda snowballed into a big fucking ball of depression...and well, you can imagine my state ...now I am miles better than those days and tbh, the only way around it is through it..Do you want to spend each day sitting and lost like this or you wanna accept, act and pass through it.. Nothing in this world is permanent, hell even we aren't..then why should we let this to be

What i love most used to be women. The loss of attraction is horrible i hardly feel a thing. And nearly every guy looks perfect and im obsessed with penises 😞

Did you find guys attractive ?

The only way around it is through it

I don't think so...

I used to be scared and anxious my mind would put me in these sexual scenarios with fucking guys man and That gave me headache, it happens now as well but quite less and i am like okay, fine... also, started watching as I said normal p*rn and shit... basically confronting what makes me anxious..I cannot go through my life feeling like this...lol... that's for sure

So did you think about penises ?

Not anymore unless I dive into that topic myself lol.

it's important to know that engaging in sex with same sex doesn't make you guy, it's emotional and spiritual connection! some straight guys indulge just because of curiousity and experimentation. anyways, my point is just be normal about it and accept whatever comes

gay*

So my therapist has told me to say this in my head. I am a gay Im having thoughts that i am gay I noticed im having thoughts im gay When i said the first one it just doesnt sit right with me

just say it not supposed to think" if it sits right with you or not"

I get a weird feeling in my stomach whilst saying it. This whole mens genitial thing is really getting me down 😞

You there buddy ?

Hey bro, What happens when you think about obsessions?

I dont know whether i like penises or not im 37 years old old up to about 3 months ago i never had this penis thing going on 😞

yea, it's like this man...it leaves you questioning yourself.. maybe you should try to spend more time with your family and accept the thoughts incoming thoughts, are you on any medication?

Did you say you used to fantasize about men ?

Fantasize might not be the right word it was more with the penises and shit. I never fantasized about men or being with men

Not wanting to fantasize kind of thing. But men and penises pop in your head

yea, just like HOCD

do you spend the whole day fighting these thoughts?

Yeah i do mate mate. I think it affecting my health

what do you think?

What do you mean ?

what are your thoughts?

Images of guys with pants on showing there bulge. Saying stuff to the images i get. Contstant images of celebrities attractive men i have seen and i say so sexy in my head 😞. Im so depressed

What are yours ?

??