noone800
- Date posted
- 4y
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
I think when it comes to CP it's only suspicious and strange if you actively search for it like daily or monthly as if you were a customer for it or whatever. Downloading it with the intent to keep it is also pretty fucked up. But in your case, you didn't do anything wrong, you had a thought hoping that there wasn't any to be seen and thankfully there wasn't. OCD is just messing with you at the moment. But anonynon is right, you should probably stay away from porn a bit. That's what I'm doing. Masturbating isn't really the problem but the compulsive use of porn is. It's gross
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 8d
@88.88 You should definitely get an OCD therapist for help. Getting one specifically trained in OCD will help a lot more than one that isn't.
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 8d
@88.88 Yes a therapist can give you the help you're seeking as long as they are trained in how OCD works. What did you search?
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 8d
@88.88 If you've actually experienced child sexual abuse, I'm terribly sorry to hear about that. That's really hard to process and you don't deserve that. That's something you should absolutely bring to a future therapist. Searching about that kind of stuff online can be triggering and probably not the best thing for you since you're also going through OCD. Can I ask why you searched that through adult sites though?
anon421anon421
- Date posted
- 4y
I recommend to stay away from porn for a bit, it can really mess with your head I’m struggling with POCD and my porn addiction made it worse. I advise you to stay away from it really can make your POCD worse.
noone800noone800
- Date posted
- 4y
Okay thank you, I just feel bad since I purposely went on the newly added page to see if there was child porn even tho I had no plan on watching it :/, it’s just hard since it’s a addiction. You know what I mean?
noone800noone800
- Date posted
- 4y
@noone800 Child porn isn’t an addiction but porn in general is. I was just curious if there was child porn on the newly added page since the website says they watch all videos. And I was just genuinely curious and had no plan on masturbaiting to it or anything. I just feel bad :/
anon421anon421
- Date posted
- 4y
@noone800 Yea porn does mess up a persons mind, it’s best to stick with the uncertainty when it comes to intensive thoughts since finding answers only feeds the obsession.
noone800noone800
- Date posted
- 4y
@anonynon I know you shouldn’t provide but fo you think I’m a bad person or weird for seeing if there was cp on the website since I was curious even tho I had no intention of watching or mastuebsiting to it :/
anon421anon421
- Date posted
- 4y
@noone800 Well I’m suffering POCD as well and I also have unwanted urges to “see” if I’d enjoy something I’m not normally into, I also feel bad for having these thoughts and urges hell I fear that if I did do them I’d enjoy them idk what to say but your not alone I feel bad about myself often
anon421anon421
- Date posted
- 4y
@Valentino Yes intensive thoughts seem and feel real it’s out of our control and often we seek reassurances to help us feel better it’s best to accept and move one pushing it away makes it worse
anon421anon421
- Date posted
- 4y
@Valentino No not yet
noone800noone800
- Date posted
- 4y
@Valentino Yeah I know I just feel bad because like I literally was like “what if there’s cp on the newest page.” Because I was curious. I just need to learn to let this go and accept that this is part of my ocd and I feel guilty about it so i need to move on and never guve into that compulsion.
Related posts
EndOCD!
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel so guilty
I’m worried about times when Child P*rn or suspicious porn videos have come up in the past. I tend to use Twitter for porn and it’s not the most moderated app out there but I was never looking for videos or pictures or anything related to that. Unfortunately stuff still has popped up and I’m just worried about if my reaction was perfect because I have intense POCD I want to say it’s nearly as severe as it can get so I just feel as if I remember times when something suspicious came up and I stayed for a moment to make sure I wasn’t attracted or maybe left and came back to be sure I was safe and didn’t like it and I’m afraid this counts as seeking out or engaging in illegal content that would get me in trouble. I’ve never once looked this stuff up and anyone who creates saves distributed or likes this stuff I believe deserves prison time for life but I’m just so worried that I didn’t react in the way I should’ve I’m 20 years old so I’m relatively young and I’m jus worried about what this means about me any one else deal with anything similar?
genicrop09
- Date posted
- 22w
21+ only
TW: porn mentioned When I was younger around 18-19 or maybe younger, I stumbled across some porn labeled as 'teen'. I don't remember if I watched it or get scared away by 'teen', but I then searched for porn something like '18-teen years old', I wanted to make sure it was legal. Now I'm spiraling that I did it because I wanted to see someone younger. Or what my intentions could possibly be? It happened for once or I cannot remembered searching something similar ever again. I've always preferred bigger more masculine men, but why I did that then? I had active porn addiction since I was 9 or I'm afraid younger, watched some things that I regret watching... And now I'm 23 and don't watch it all for like 3 years, because I found out that it was unethical. When I was little I preferred BDSM porn and everyone was very mature and I did not watched anything questionable with real people, but some weird fictional stuff, but didn't like it. Now that I remember this I'm very confused and don't know how to continue living with that. I'm just done...
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 19w
PLEASE HELP ME. PLEASE. I'M BEGGING.
Okay so I'm young. A bit young than u might Imagine. Me and my boyfriend where bored and I searched up gay porn js as a joke on google. It was completely blurred. And we where js talking about our truma, and personal stuff while literally just looking at the titles. And I saw a title. A title that has trumstixed me before (I saw the actual video before involving a minor. ) and I clicked on it, still heavily blurred to show my boyfriend the title. And i said baby this really effected me this video. And then I looked below it, same video, blurred. Different title. And I clicked on it to stupidly read the other title. And it FUCKING UNBLURRED. and I SCREAMED saying to my boyfriend if he saw it. And he said no he looked away. And he was so unfazed. And I asked chat gpt about it and it said what I done was NOT okay. Because I looked at child stuff on purpose? My heart has just SANK. self harm urges are back. INTENSE confession compulsions to my mum are back. What do I do. Please someone help.
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