therapist asked me what type of men i feel attracted to, them they corrected themselves and said “think i’m attracted to.” this triggered me extremely. then i said just men in general until they suggested some types of men and i settled on men my age are my biggest trigger. then they said it’s interesting that it’s not older men. it was like they implied i’m just not attracted to guys my age. extremely triggering. & when i asked them to clarify what’s interesting about that; since you know, they said is important to know that it’s not older men, they kept saying they couldn’t give me reassurance. but i was asking them to explain a vague sentence they made??? that’s my right as a patient

no why

y do u ask

@lmaocd🍓🥰 i was just confused because you said you found older men attractive i’m sorry

@holley wait what what did i say that made u think that

@lmaocd🍓🥰 ohhhh i misread. you’re scared you’re only attracted to certain kinds of men. just know this: it’s not attraction if you’re scared of it

@holley what wait do u think i like men or no?

@holley i’m confused by how u interpreted what i said lol i make lots of typos

@lmaocd🍓🥰 do you identify as lesbian? then of course you don’t like men. personally I’m having trouble finding my comfort zone like I don’t get anxious when my boyfriend touches me or when I kiss him or anything so I don’t get anxiety or get grossed out by men but my anxiety towards attraction to women isn’t really there I just question a lot if I’m attracted to certain women or like my friends

@holley yeah i don’t want to be into ANYman, but the therapist was implying maybe i like older men because i question being attracted to men my age. what did u think i meant? if i’m only questioning if i’m attracted to younger men and i focus my anxiety on younger men that means i might like older men idk

@lmaocd🍓🥰 i can promise you you don’t.

@holley u mean u can promise i’m not attracted to older men?

@holley when u fear being attracted to women, do u ever think about older women?? because i never think about older men like why would i... they’re not someone who is a threat to my sexuality yk?

@lmaocd🍓🥰 i cant promise you that but for me it’s so weird because the only thing that is triggering me is the fact the intrusive thoughts have invaded my fantasies and i can cum to them but i was also addicted to lesbian porn too so of course my body is used to that. i used to never fantasize about being with women or like fantasize about having sex with them. i only watched porn. and sometimes i think i get aroused by seeing like sexual images/videos of women. that’s what my hocd is hanging on to. also i do fear having a crush on a girl later in life like i feel like that might happen

@holley but u just said u promise? what i’m confused. and yeah i relate a lot to what u said. i’m also afraid of the future

@lmaocd🍓🥰 i don’t think you’re attracted to men at all. and waitttt you relate to the fantasy stuff omg wait that must mean i am bi or lesbian😭😭😭😭

@holley nooo i never said that! i relate to having fantasies with men now. not with women. my fantasies with women r almost gone and it’s so depressing i’m seriously depressed

@holley i relate to ur experience, just switch around the genders lol

@lmaocd🍓🥰 it’s so confusing for me.. like i get aroused by that stuff and can cum😭😭😭😭 and kind of fast

@holley i’ve seen people post how u feel about m*sturbating. ur not alone in that :) so ocd is a struggle!

no no not at all i’m sorry if i made you anxious