I'm having such a terrible fucking day to the point where I don't even know who I keep acting on impulses my mind thinks nothing but the worst and I'm just so alone and don't really have anyone as a distraction because they're all so busy. I guess one thing I do is that I don't want sexual activity in my life for quite a while but I can't even help it because aside from my mind making every thought negative it also makes everything sexual which may have to do with hormones. I really don't know what to do anymore.

Hey, I couldn't help but notice that on your profile you have real event OCD just as I do. There's a lot of past mistakes that I can't get over and I'm afraid they'll harm my future even though I would never make those mistakes today. What's real event OCD like, if you mind me asking?

Thanks a lot for the advice though, I usually just try and surround myself with someone else that cares about me so they'll go away and it's making me feel a lot better

@BigGip09 Real event ocd for me is a daily struggle because I feel traumatized, dirty, ruined and guilty. Those emotions are hard to wash away. I made the mistakes as a child but it doesn’t change how I view those actions. My past feels magnified. I spend a lot of my obsessive time thinking about the meaning, memory scanning. I have overwhelming feelings like i just happened almost like PTSD

@ThreeLittleBirds Pretty much in the same boat with you, man. I relate to all of that. Most of my real event OCD falls under the mistakes I've made as a teen and even though I know not to make those mistakes now, I still can't help but feel horrible, guilty, and negative for making those mistakes. I want to keep it as simple as everyone makes mistakes and it's how we become better people, but I just can't give myself the same statement for some reason. Maybe it's because I can't find someone that's made the exact same mistakes I made. Or maybe that's exactly the problem.

@BigGip09 It’s hard to have self forgiveness because it’s so deeply mixed with our self worth. To be a good person means to have never done something like what we did. <-Very black and white thinking. But at the end of the day we aren’t murders or serial killers so we can take a step back and acknowledge that the word BAD has many levels and we are not entirely bad, we just have guilt and at the end of the day we’d never do it again and I think that speaks volumes. It means a lot to be able to acknowledge the wrong and grow from it.

@ThreeLittleBirds Yeah, I suppose that makes better sense. I also think that the fact that we so have this much guilt tells us that we are good people and we do worry about being perfect, but maybe a little too much. It could always be worst. There are killers, robbers, murders, molestors, rapists, and true monsters out there that truly don't care about people. The only problem I have in my present at the moment is addiction to PMO. I'm really trying to give it up completely but it's like a drug at this point. It's very hard but I need to try harder. Thanks for being here with me.

@BigGip09 What’s that? If you don’t mind me asking

@ThreeLittleBirds Porn/masturbation/orgasm. I consider myself addicted to all three and it's beginning to not only take a toll on me but distress me from the activity at all times at the moment. Porn pretty much desensitized my mind and my dopamine levels which I wouldn't be surprised if it contributed to my OCD.

@BigGip09 Look up Harm Reduction. It talks about reducing addictive behaviors a little at a time until you’re not causing harm and are able to heal. We are only human and it’s difficult to cure 2 separate ailments at the same time. Just have compassion and try reducing addictive behaviors instead of trying to full on fight your addiction.

@ThreeLittleBirds Wow, I didn't know something like that was there. Thanks so much for this. OCD is making me feel like I don't deserve this treatment because of my mistakes, but I'll still try and see if this will help.

@BigGip09 Of course! I hope harm reduction can help bring you comfort and more peace. There’s so much out there to help us get through life, like this community too. This app saves my life every week I swear.

@ThreeLittleBirds Yeah I'm really thankful for the amount of support groups that are out there in this world.