- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I have sexually intrusive thoughts and harm thoughts. My brain is a very mentally ill but my soul is strong and kind. I try to focus on that and remind myself that thoughts come and go. When you get a really bad thought, that’s when you’ve gott use your erp and act tools and let it pass on by
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey, I couldn't help but notice that on your profile you have real event OCD just as I do. There's a lot of past mistakes that I can't get over and I'm afraid they'll harm my future even though I would never make those mistakes today. What's real event OCD like, if you mind me asking?
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks a lot for the advice though, I usually just try and surround myself with someone else that cares about me so they'll go away and it's making me feel a lot better
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Real event ocd for me is a daily struggle because I feel traumatized, dirty, ruined and guilty. Those emotions are hard to wash away. I made the mistakes as a child but it doesn’t change how I view those actions. My past feels magnified. I spend a lot of my obsessive time thinking about the meaning, memory scanning. I have overwhelming feelings like i just happened almost like PTSD
- Date posted
- 4y
@ThreeLittleBirds Pretty much in the same boat with you, man. I relate to all of that. Most of my real event OCD falls under the mistakes I've made as a teen and even though I know not to make those mistakes now, I still can't help but feel horrible, guilty, and negative for making those mistakes. I want to keep it as simple as everyone makes mistakes and it's how we become better people, but I just can't give myself the same statement for some reason. Maybe it's because I can't find someone that's made the exact same mistakes I made. Or maybe that's exactly the problem.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 It’s hard to have self forgiveness because it’s so deeply mixed with our self worth. To be a good person means to have never done something like what we did. <-Very black and white thinking. But at the end of the day we aren’t murders or serial killers so we can take a step back and acknowledge that the word BAD has many levels and we are not entirely bad, we just have guilt and at the end of the day we’d never do it again and I think that speaks volumes. It means a lot to be able to acknowledge the wrong and grow from it.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ThreeLittleBirds Yeah, I suppose that makes better sense. I also think that the fact that we so have this much guilt tells us that we are good people and we do worry about being perfect, but maybe a little too much. It could always be worst. There are killers, robbers, murders, molestors, rapists, and true monsters out there that truly don't care about people. The only problem I have in my present at the moment is addiction to PMO. I'm really trying to give it up completely but it's like a drug at this point. It's very hard but I need to try harder. Thanks for being here with me.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 What’s that? If you don’t mind me asking
- Date posted
- 4y
@ThreeLittleBirds Porn/masturbation/orgasm. I consider myself addicted to all three and it's beginning to not only take a toll on me but distress me from the activity at all times at the moment. Porn pretty much desensitized my mind and my dopamine levels which I wouldn't be surprised if it contributed to my OCD.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Look up Harm Reduction. It talks about reducing addictive behaviors a little at a time until you’re not causing harm and are able to heal. We are only human and it’s difficult to cure 2 separate ailments at the same time. Just have compassion and try reducing addictive behaviors instead of trying to full on fight your addiction.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ThreeLittleBirds Wow, I didn't know something like that was there. Thanks so much for this. OCD is making me feel like I don't deserve this treatment because of my mistakes, but I'll still try and see if this will help.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Of course! I hope harm reduction can help bring you comfort and more peace. There’s so much out there to help us get through life, like this community too. This app saves my life every week I swear.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ThreeLittleBirds Yeah I'm really thankful for the amount of support groups that are out there in this world.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I'm at my college and don't feel like being here. I didn't even want to come here. I woke up with anxiety bc i feel like i need to solve this. I had a bad stomach ache when i arrived to school and still havent even eaten breakfast yet bc i feel like i have to solve this. Im just so worried bc i have harm thoughts daily. If i could i would remove this! I dont want to think anymore. Its just, how do I know i dont have real urges when I'm feeling a negative emotion like anger or disappointment or annoyance? Im worried EVERY time i feel a negative emotion. Yesterday I was playing video games with my neice (we are close in age range) and she made us lose. She started blaming me and I guess i felt a little annoyed, it really wasnt my fault (dumb mini argument it was more playful since we started laughing but it was a bit annoying). Anyway i got a harm thought while feeling annoyed of me getting off the couch and lunging at her to attack. I immediately look at my bodily reaction and I tense up to stay as still as possible. My stomach was hurting and i wanted to leave as fast as possible. I stood up and turned off the game and said i was tired while making sure to stay back from her (and i had my hands away and stiff) but i felt so uneasy. I laid I bed and felt sad and heavy. And i kept getting thoughts that said "íts only a matter of time before you can't take it anymore". I started to reassurance seek using ai to ask if i was about to or if they are real urges or thoughts i mean until i eventually fell asleep in the middle of the compulsion. Im just so worried, what if I act out impulsevly one day? I dont want to! But what if when feeling a negative emotion, i suddenly dont care and do something? I really dont want to! I dont even want to feel negative emotions anymore since they trigger the thoughts and I dont want to think about any of that. As a result i tend to avoid my family as much as possible bc they are annoying sometimes. I just wish i was all alone sometimes so i wont get any more thoughts and so everyone can be safe. I usually just stay in bed under my blankets all day long to avoid my family and pets. I am constantly uncomfortable. I miss when i would never think any of this. Living life has become very scary for me now. 😞
- Date posted
- 16w
It’s like my brain is doing everything in its power to convince myself and also justify an attraction to teenagers. I hate myself. I don’t want to be this person, but what if I don’t have a choice. How do I get these thoughts out of my head permanently. I feel like my life will never be the same if they don’t leave forever. I can’t tell what is a real desire and what OCD is trying to convince me is a real desire. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or I don’t think I do but how do I even tell anymore. This might not even be OCD at this point, I can’t separate my thoughts from OCD thoughts I think because I’ve had OCD for so long so it all just feels like me. Maybe it is me. TMI but I haven’t pleasured myself in like a week because my libido is so low now, I don’t want to do it with these thoughts.
- Date posted
- 13w
I have no idea to what extent the new medication I am on is affecting me positively or negatively. The past two days and Monday have been awful. I feel close to walking around in a daze in the mornings. For whatever reason Tuesday was actually like a 3 on a 5 star scale whereas average had been below 2.5. I know the OCD is pissed off but it’s so bad and interfering with my life so much. It just hammers at me basically nonstop. I know I can watch YouTube and read books/comics and sometimes play with Legos but exercise, video games, consistency, feeling like I have a choice when I want to do these things is so difficult. I’m starting to lash out with anger at things and am going back down the path of self harm and suicidal thoughts. I just despise all of these thoughts like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
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