It’s 12 am and I am obsessing and idk if this is rocd or not. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and I love him so much and my fears are that he doesn’t care about me and I’m not important and that he won’t put effort into this relationship and he will keep hurting me. I don’t know if this is rocd simply because I truly believe he can be rude and say mean things to me. I have no clue if I’m just in a delusion. Bcuz I feel delusional 24/7 like I need to go to the hospital. I have these thoughts that he doesn’t try and have facts behind them. Like “does he even think about my love language and what makes me feel loved?” “He is so emotionaless, he doesn’t even care about me”, “He doesn’t feel the same as me” “He doesn’t know how to show love” “He isn’t even putting in effort or giving me attention” or if he has a certain tone even saying sorry or doesn’t do something I want right away I get anxious like I have to ask him what he is thinking or feeling because then he will never tell me how he thinks or feels, because he usually doesn’t tell me anyways. Or like sometimes i feel empty and unloved and I see so many ppl w rocd that have it centered around themselves about their love but no one says stuff about how they are mad at their partner 24/7 about past things or little things or if something isn’t in a certain way they want or obsessing about the persons actions in the relationship. So I don’t know if that’s an rocd symptom. This is so stressful. I sometimes obsess about all day like “Is he abusive to me” then I look it up and I’m like oh he does that and he does this, then I go on tik tok to avoid my thoughts and then I get triggered cuz my feed is all relationship related cuz I have liked stuff like that b4 and then it gets me super sad and angry like why doesn’t he do that for me and I cry my eyes out and feel heartbroken and unloved. Is this a symptom ? Like he can sound so heartless but sometimes ppl have a certain tone to their voice and it hurts me and scares me ig like that tone sounds so harsh or bad that it makes me think he doesn’t love me or I’m being judged and I feel unloved because I’m triggered. Anyone relate ?

Relationship OCD

Shiba Inu

Date posted: 4y

I guess the idea is to make your mind more clear, so you can better evaluate things for what they are. Strong emotions and getting in an obsessive loop will taint your ability to see things fairly.

Jazmine_Leigh

Date posted: 4y

FACTS! This makes sm sense

Serio?

Date posted: 4y

Have you told him when he’s rude that you feel hurt by what he says?

Jazmine_Leigh

Date posted: 4y

Yes and he said he’s sorry and will work on it and it’s been two days since we talked about it and I know I should be patient but it’s so damn hard. And when he says sorry it doesn’t seem like he is like his tone is dead and I can’t hear emotion in his voice like he isn’t a super emotional person over the phone I just wish he made a bigger deal out of it I feel like I can’t forgive him unless he makes a big deal

Serio?

Date posted: 4y

@Jazmine_Leigh Why would you want him to feel bad?

Shiba Inu

Date posted: 4y

Hi, I had rocd too for nearly a year. I understand how debilitating it can be. In the beginning, I couldn’t do anything in the day but think about whether my partner and I are too different and research countless articles. So many tears have been shed. I can relate to what you mentioned about having expectations and getting frustrated when your partner doesn’t meet it. It seems that the main issue that needs addressing is your obsessing (no rhyme intended). This seems to be the root of the issue. You have to not engage in reassurance seeking and in researching articles, looking on Tik Tok, etc. Doing that would fuel your questions and thoughts even more, thus the rocd cycle is perpetuated. ERP involves allowing yourself to feel that uncertainty and acknowledge it without engaging in compulsions. Maintaining your sense of well being is so important too!

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