AndyW
- Date posted
- 6y ago
garden garden
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I had existential OCD. And it sucked. Weirdly though, it’s the only theme that I got over without replacing with a new theme (which is usually what I do). I thought life was all a big simulation and nothing was real. But one day I was talking to my brother about it and he was like ‘I don’t care if my life is a simulation, I love my life and I just wanna have fun’. Sounds so shallow and ignorant but it helped me change my perspective a bit!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 6y ago
i have , it is what took place of my HOCD when it wasn’t strong anymore but went away due to my HOCD coming back. but it was brutal i kind of wanted my HOCD to come back when it replaced it cause of how much it affected me
xohelgawontwinxohelgawontwin
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@ramona, I COMPLETELY get it... makes me look at humans and think “wow we’re just weird animals” and i look at nature and how society works and it just didn’t seem to make sense
xohelgawontwinxohelgawontwin
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@ramona same!! And extinetial ocd is so scary. It’s not even describable. Does it make you or anyone else feel like humans and humanity just don’t make sense as the world feels like an illusion in a way and everything feels pointless? Cause same
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 6y ago
yup. it makes me like just question everything from how this world started to where we go after we die and makes scary questions like the meaning of life come into my head. it’s all so hard to deal with it really had me freaked .
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 6y ago
like the world and life just didn’t make any sense it was so strange
AndyWAndyW
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you. Yes I’ve only just realise I have it, but am getting therapy next week but I feel 70% better just having found out what it is. I think the scariest thing with ocd is when you have the thoughts but can’t figure out what it is and don’t attribute it to ocd. So feeling much better now. I also get comfort thinking some questions aren’t for one person alone and the network of humanity is already processing it so I can delegate those away from me and leave them to the university’s and experts! That actually gave me some comfort also!
garden garden
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That’s very true! I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better. It won’t last forever :))
garden garden
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I mean the OCD won’t last forever not the happiness omg^^^^
Related posts
hopelytle
- Date posted
- 22w ago
Question for those who have been in therapy
I am wanting to go to therapy to hopefully lower my OCD symptoms but I am terrified to tell anyone else, like a therapist, about my intrusive thoughts. Has anyone else had this experience and if so how did you get over it?
jay_y1
- Date posted
- 18w ago
I think I need help
I’m positive I have OCD I don’t think get too many compulsions but the obsessions are what mess with me. I’ve recently started medication for depression that is as a side effects supposed to treat ocd but I’m not noticing anything with the symptoms. Also who do I go to to try to get an actual diagnosis?
Andrea Wells
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w ago
My OCD Journey
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
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