Is avoidance or looking away a compulsion or trying to think of something else ?

Bro, it happens to me. I go in trying to find every single female sexy but feel nothing and then 1 dude is good looking. The end of the world!!!! We do that to ourselves. It's no different than right now, with me. I'm outdoors and I'm get worried about zero attraction and zero libido (or intrusive thoughts if I ever get some of my libido back) and I dont want to look at any dudes. But doing any of that feeds this. We need to treat this as all part of OCD. I need to practice what I preach.

She had write out a letter about being gay and rereading it. Also, she had me look at pics of good looking dudes and gay couples and mock or make fun of them.

You gotta sit with the thoughts. Allow the thoughts when you do ERP. It's not easy. It's so funny. Suddenly, chicks are looking sexy again but my mind attacks on two fronts: first the penis thing but then second it uses an older lady at my job and the fact that she's not attractive as proof. Fuck it I'm gonna laugh at this OCD bitch.

I'm getting so mad. I gotta deal with this shit but all these girls look amazing. Its getting me angry.

Now the thoughts are trying to make me analyze the penis shit. Fml

It's a porn trigger that really bothered me. My mind tries to get me to analyze it as if I like that shit.

I'm trying to stop posting on here too. I do it compulsively. Had a shitty day. Attraction came back but the thoughts were really getting at me. Trying to relax at home before bed.

Bro, are you safe? That's not the answer bro. Believe me I know how freaking terrible that feeling is. It did it to me a few times today. But you have a family. I got a family and I know how much they look to me. So I could never be suicidal. I'm not giving this demon that kind of satisfaction. It does the same thing to me. It's what OCD does. Its manipulative. Try something, anything to get your mind off of yourself. Meditation, reading a book, laughing at a show, play a video game, write a story, or play with your kids (with that last one, it the reason I love being around my sister's family, I get to be around my niece and nephew). You have value you bro. You matter, not OCD.

Dude, believe me I know. 10 years I've gone through this and every time it come back bad it gets worse and escalates. Yes including the penis thing. Since July or August it's been hitting me hard and even though I'm stronger now than I was months ago, every day is a struggle. I just woke up again after having broken sleep and this crap was all in my dreams. Just before I got up, it tried to get me by saying I wasn't attracted to all the chicks I been with or dated and tried to create some good looking dude out of thin air. Trust me, you are not alone.

@Jbm421 I feel like im in denial and im going to live a life of misery

We will get through this. We will find our happiness.