Hey everyone, I really need help since it seems I can't go foward. I'm a man from Brazil so apologizes if I write something wrong. I have always been heterossexual and It seems I have HOCD for almost 10 years. At the beginning, it wasn't so hard to deal. Some thoughts used to pop up but not so frequently, it caused me panic a few times and the anxiety used to increase too. But I was able to keep having a normal life. Unfortunately at the end of last year, the thoughts started to appear again but much more stronger that I couldn't handle them. The anxiety increased much more, the pressure in my forehead increase a lot too and I started to heave some weird sensations. A heavy weight on my chest, groinal responses and started to have sexual arousal towards every single guy that appeared in front of me. And to get things worst, it seemed so real that I wasn't even able to recognize myseld. Every compulsion that I tried to do, suddenly wasn't working anymore. I started to doubt about my sexuality, about the soccer/football team I've been fan my entire life and also made me think about changing my gender to become a women, and some other stuff. Nowadays, the attraction that I had for women is almost 100% gone and the groinal responses and the sexual arousal feelings increased a lot more and my mind makes me thing that I'm liking and it's so real. Is it really HOCD? Thanks in advance.

Thanks, mate! You're right, my brain get used to it. The issue is that it is so hard, sometimes, to keep fighting. It seems if I'm in denial and the pressure in my forehead and in my chest are so real, the same as with the groinal response and the sexual arousal that I don't know what to do. I started doing the ERP in this app to see if it helps me but I don't know. Any other sugestions?

@qwerRJ *note this is just my opinion* I had the same feeling. You don’t know what is real and what is false. But I know what can help you relax with the groinal issue. It help me relax sometimes. I read something that stuck with me. It was from the lgbtq community (sorry if the word lgbtq causes any panic. Sometimes I get panic attacks from just looking at anything related to a different sexual orientation) and from doctors. They say that arousal means nothing. It’s not an indication of anything because it takes nothing to arouse a human. For example you can get aroused by a cookie. It may seem impossible, but it’s actually not. Don’t worry if you accidentally get aroused bruv. If you don’t like that you are getting aroused, it can be an indication that it is not real for you. The attraction isn’t real. What hocd does to people is trick them into thinking that they may be of the opposite sexuality. The trick can go so far to the point where you don’t even know anymore. If you don’t like that you are getting these responses from your body to a dude. It’s because you don’t like that kind of stuff. Gay people would love that stuff they would do it all day if they could, but I have that feeling that I know you don’t like that kind of stuff. I hope this helps man. It won’t cure it but it can help relax your mind a little, it did for me. Arousals mean nothing. Have you talked to a therapist who specializes in ocd?

@вдик Thanks for the reply mate. I'm talking to a therapist about it. I'm also taking some medicine to help me out. But the groinal response is so strong that makes really feel like it is real. Actually I don't know what is real and what isn't anymore. It seemed like I had a parcial erection towards a guy. Unbealivable... is it normal? Don't know what to do anymore. The attractions for girl is almost gone.