- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
hi there 🌷 just wanted to comment saying that i feel this exact way too. everything you said was to a t. something tells me that when i put my relationship under deep scrutiny, it makes it difficult to connect. there are moments when i feel deeply connected to my boyfriend - and it’s when i’m not monitoring every little feeling or experience. there are moments when i feel no passion whatsoever and i’m coming to realize that it’s alright. like everything in life, we’re on breaths. sometimes we’re on an inward breath in our relationship, sometimes we’re on an outward breath. as time goes on, i become more confident in each breath. 🤍 knowing that neither are indicators if he’s the “one for me.” because i get to choose. and each day i continue to choose him.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much. It’s nice to know someone else feels this way, you know what I mean ? :)
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel the same way
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you think it’s ocd as well?
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka It’s hard to tell for me... I cry to my friend all the time.. telling her I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve been with my partner for 10 years now. I feel like I don’t wanna have sex anymore with him... but I don’t want another man to touch me... he makes me happy. I can name more pros than cons about him. I’ve been going through this bad stage for 4 months now... I obsessed to the point where I am numb about everything. I feel like I know I’m not in love with him... my anxiety has calmed down but this morning I woke up with a panic attack and he comforted me.
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka Been going through silent anxiety. Still research trying to find answers I go on here non stop trying to see if there is anyone like me. When I do it doesn’t help. I felt short Burst of love for my partner. But whenever I kiss him i feel sick... so I get worried it’s me.. I still kiss him anyways. I have a hard to interacting with people. I don’t like going outside bc I am scared I am gonna find other men attractive. I don’t go through the lesbian obsession but I have always obsessed for years and years... but I was able to control but now I feel like a lier everytime I say I love you... I still touch him. It just feels like he’s a stranger in fact even my family feels like a stranger bc my mom hugged me and I didn’t like it and wanted it to end
- Date posted
- 4y
@Mandy7710 I understand. It’s rough going through this. But I believe that I do love my boyfriend, and if you are worried about it you probably love yours too. The things on the internet don’t help. They never help me. All they ever say is to break up, because not everyone understands what people like us go through. Ocd is a very broad anxiety disorder, not a perfectionist. That’s why it’s hard to find people like us on the internet. I think it’ll all be okay. I used to struggle with hocd but that went away. It’ll most likely come back, but I feel as if I’m ready for it this time. My rocd is hard to deal with because all I want to do is love my boyfriend, but i believe that both of us will get through it. Have you talked to him about your ocd??
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka When he saw me panic I told him I love him and I mean it!
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka He knows about it. He tells me to try to distract myself but it’s hard bc I feel like I can’t do the things I enjoy anymore due to the heat they might trigger me. I do love him a lot. I...I’ve went through this before 7 years ago... but it wasn’t like this... 😖
- Date posted
- 4y
@Mandy7710 It’s good that he’s there for you. He’s there to support you, and you seem like you can trust him if you’re able to panic in front of him. You’re meant to be with him, and I believe you will get through this :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka 😭😭 thank you so much!! 😭😭
- Date posted
- 4y
Totally understand everything you guys are saying and completely feel the same. My boyfriend is literally the most amazing person and cares for me conditionally yet ocd still decides to focus on him. I completely agree when you said Nina that you feel more connection when you’re not scrutinising every little moment. I have a really bad compulsion of checking for the right feelings, after kissing etc, seeing if I get ‘love feelings’ and tingles. Are any of you on ssris? I’ve been on Zoloft since jan, and major decrease in libido which causes so much an anxiety! Thanks for sharing ur experience, it really is so nice to hear that you’re not the only one going through this! 💗
- Date posted
- 4y
Right now I feel like I know I don’t love my partner 😭 I feel like I don’t care either... I get nauseous thinking about sex with when I loved it before! 😖 there was times before where I had thoughts... but... I don’t wanna break up... 😖
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 21w
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
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