I’ve had doubts my whole relationship with my boyfriend. Things like “you don’t find him attractive. You don’t think he’s funny. You’re lesbian because you don’t love him. You don’t love him at all. You think he’s annoying. You think his face looks weird. You want to be with other guys. He doesn’t make you happy.” But I always cry and get upset at the thought of losing him. Is that ocd, or something wrong with the relationship. It’s so hard to tell if this is Rocd or if this is one of those, “you never loved nor were interested in him in the first place.” Type things. I want to be interested and in love with him so bad, but I feel like all these thoughts get in the way. :( I don’t get that crazy “you love him so much,” feeing everyone talks about. Like yeah I know I feel for him and love him for who he is, but I don’t feel crazy deep in love :(

Thank you so much. It’s nice to know someone else feels this way, you know what I mean ? :)

Do you think it’s ocd as well?

@brooka It’s hard to tell for me... I cry to my friend all the time.. telling her I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve been with my partner for 10 years now. I feel like I don’t wanna have sex anymore with him... but I don’t want another man to touch me... he makes me happy. I can name more pros than cons about him. I’ve been going through this bad stage for 4 months now... I obsessed to the point where I am numb about everything. I feel like I know I’m not in love with him... my anxiety has calmed down but this morning I woke up with a panic attack and he comforted me.

@brooka Been going through silent anxiety. Still research trying to find answers I go on here non stop trying to see if there is anyone like me. When I do it doesn’t help. I felt short Burst of love for my partner. But whenever I kiss him i feel sick... so I get worried it’s me.. I still kiss him anyways. I have a hard to interacting with people. I don’t like going outside bc I am scared I am gonna find other men attractive. I don’t go through the lesbian obsession but I have always obsessed for years and years... but I was able to control but now I feel like a lier everytime I say I love you... I still touch him. It just feels like he’s a stranger in fact even my family feels like a stranger bc my mom hugged me and I didn’t like it and wanted it to end

@Mandy7710 I understand. It’s rough going through this. But I believe that I do love my boyfriend, and if you are worried about it you probably love yours too. The things on the internet don’t help. They never help me. All they ever say is to break up, because not everyone understands what people like us go through. Ocd is a very broad anxiety disorder, not a perfectionist. That’s why it’s hard to find people like us on the internet. I think it’ll all be okay. I used to struggle with hocd but that went away. It’ll most likely come back, but I feel as if I’m ready for it this time. My rocd is hard to deal with because all I want to do is love my boyfriend, but i believe that both of us will get through it. Have you talked to him about your ocd??

@brooka When he saw me panic I told him I love him and I mean it!

@brooka He knows about it. He tells me to try to distract myself but it’s hard bc I feel like I can’t do the things I enjoy anymore due to the heat they might trigger me. I do love him a lot. I...I’ve went through this before 7 years ago... but it wasn’t like this... 😖

@Mandy7710 It’s good that he’s there for you. He’s there to support you, and you seem like you can trust him if you’re able to panic in front of him. You’re meant to be with him, and I believe you will get through this :)

@brooka 😭😭 thank you so much!! 😭😭

Right now I feel like I know I don’t love my partner 😭 I feel like I don’t care either... I get nauseous thinking about sex with when I loved it before! 😖 there was times before where I had thoughts... but... I don’t wanna break up... 😖