- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
hi there 🌷 just wanted to comment saying that i feel this exact way too. everything you said was to a t. something tells me that when i put my relationship under deep scrutiny, it makes it difficult to connect. there are moments when i feel deeply connected to my boyfriend - and it’s when i’m not monitoring every little feeling or experience. there are moments when i feel no passion whatsoever and i’m coming to realize that it’s alright. like everything in life, we’re on breaths. sometimes we’re on an inward breath in our relationship, sometimes we’re on an outward breath. as time goes on, i become more confident in each breath. 🤍 knowing that neither are indicators if he’s the “one for me.” because i get to choose. and each day i continue to choose him.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much. It’s nice to know someone else feels this way, you know what I mean ? :)
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel the same way
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you think it’s ocd as well?
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka It’s hard to tell for me... I cry to my friend all the time.. telling her I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve been with my partner for 10 years now. I feel like I don’t wanna have sex anymore with him... but I don’t want another man to touch me... he makes me happy. I can name more pros than cons about him. I’ve been going through this bad stage for 4 months now... I obsessed to the point where I am numb about everything. I feel like I know I’m not in love with him... my anxiety has calmed down but this morning I woke up with a panic attack and he comforted me.
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka Been going through silent anxiety. Still research trying to find answers I go on here non stop trying to see if there is anyone like me. When I do it doesn’t help. I felt short Burst of love for my partner. But whenever I kiss him i feel sick... so I get worried it’s me.. I still kiss him anyways. I have a hard to interacting with people. I don’t like going outside bc I am scared I am gonna find other men attractive. I don’t go through the lesbian obsession but I have always obsessed for years and years... but I was able to control but now I feel like a lier everytime I say I love you... I still touch him. It just feels like he’s a stranger in fact even my family feels like a stranger bc my mom hugged me and I didn’t like it and wanted it to end
- Date posted
- 4y
@Mandy7710 I understand. It’s rough going through this. But I believe that I do love my boyfriend, and if you are worried about it you probably love yours too. The things on the internet don’t help. They never help me. All they ever say is to break up, because not everyone understands what people like us go through. Ocd is a very broad anxiety disorder, not a perfectionist. That’s why it’s hard to find people like us on the internet. I think it’ll all be okay. I used to struggle with hocd but that went away. It’ll most likely come back, but I feel as if I’m ready for it this time. My rocd is hard to deal with because all I want to do is love my boyfriend, but i believe that both of us will get through it. Have you talked to him about your ocd??
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka When he saw me panic I told him I love him and I mean it!
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka He knows about it. He tells me to try to distract myself but it’s hard bc I feel like I can’t do the things I enjoy anymore due to the heat they might trigger me. I do love him a lot. I...I’ve went through this before 7 years ago... but it wasn’t like this... 😖
- Date posted
- 4y
@Mandy7710 It’s good that he’s there for you. He’s there to support you, and you seem like you can trust him if you’re able to panic in front of him. You’re meant to be with him, and I believe you will get through this :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka 😭😭 thank you so much!! 😭😭
- Date posted
- 4y
Totally understand everything you guys are saying and completely feel the same. My boyfriend is literally the most amazing person and cares for me conditionally yet ocd still decides to focus on him. I completely agree when you said Nina that you feel more connection when you’re not scrutinising every little moment. I have a really bad compulsion of checking for the right feelings, after kissing etc, seeing if I get ‘love feelings’ and tingles. Are any of you on ssris? I’ve been on Zoloft since jan, and major decrease in libido which causes so much an anxiety! Thanks for sharing ur experience, it really is so nice to hear that you’re not the only one going through this! 💗
- Date posted
- 4y
Right now I feel like I know I don’t love my partner 😭 I feel like I don’t care either... I get nauseous thinking about sex with when I loved it before! 😖 there was times before where I had thoughts... but... I don’t wanna break up... 😖
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- Date posted
- 11w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
- Date posted
- 9w
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
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