I’ve had doubts my whole relationship with my boyfriend. Things like “you don’t find him attractive. You don’t think he’s funny. You’re lesbian because you don’t love him. You don’t love him at all. You think he’s annoying. You think his face looks weird. You want to be with other guys. He doesn’t make you happy.” But I always cry and get upset at the thought of losing him. Is that ocd, or something wrong with the relationship. It’s so hard to tell if this is Rocd or if this is one of those, “you never loved nor were interested in him in the first place.” Type things. I want to be interested and in love with him so bad, but I feel like all these thoughts get in the way. :( I don’t get that crazy “you love him so much,” feeing everyone talks about. Like yeah I know I feel for him and love him for who he is, but I don’t feel crazy deep in love :(

I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.

I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.

This will be my first time venting about this but I have been feeling super anxious towards my boyfriend lately. I’ve just truly discovered the world of OCD and all of the subtypes. I love my boyfriend of 3 years. He’s my person and i know I can see a life with him. Although, i’m suddenly feeling really anxious when i’m around him or even the thought of him. I’m constantly questioning everything about him and our relationship. I have to constantly reassure myself to stay that i love him or that he’s attractive to me and etc! I even have thoughts that maybe he’s not for me when that absolutely kills me. This fear has had be in a choke hold for a couple of days. It’s been especially tough since we just got back from a mini vacation. Idk if i’m nervous about us potentially moving in one day together. I’m trying to tell myself that i’m overthinking bad and i have all these fears because he is my first boyfriend— my first EVERYTHING! Please tell me i’m not the only one that feels this way. I just want to go back to the 1st year where I was obsessed and loved him unconditionally. (which i know i still do know, I just have this annoying thing going on)