- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
hi there 🌷 just wanted to comment saying that i feel this exact way too. everything you said was to a t. something tells me that when i put my relationship under deep scrutiny, it makes it difficult to connect. there are moments when i feel deeply connected to my boyfriend - and it’s when i’m not monitoring every little feeling or experience. there are moments when i feel no passion whatsoever and i’m coming to realize that it’s alright. like everything in life, we’re on breaths. sometimes we’re on an inward breath in our relationship, sometimes we’re on an outward breath. as time goes on, i become more confident in each breath. 🤍 knowing that neither are indicators if he’s the “one for me.” because i get to choose. and each day i continue to choose him.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much. It’s nice to know someone else feels this way, you know what I mean ? :)
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel the same way
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you think it’s ocd as well?
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka It’s hard to tell for me... I cry to my friend all the time.. telling her I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve been with my partner for 10 years now. I feel like I don’t wanna have sex anymore with him... but I don’t want another man to touch me... he makes me happy. I can name more pros than cons about him. I’ve been going through this bad stage for 4 months now... I obsessed to the point where I am numb about everything. I feel like I know I’m not in love with him... my anxiety has calmed down but this morning I woke up with a panic attack and he comforted me.
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka Been going through silent anxiety. Still research trying to find answers I go on here non stop trying to see if there is anyone like me. When I do it doesn’t help. I felt short Burst of love for my partner. But whenever I kiss him i feel sick... so I get worried it’s me.. I still kiss him anyways. I have a hard to interacting with people. I don’t like going outside bc I am scared I am gonna find other men attractive. I don’t go through the lesbian obsession but I have always obsessed for years and years... but I was able to control but now I feel like a lier everytime I say I love you... I still touch him. It just feels like he’s a stranger in fact even my family feels like a stranger bc my mom hugged me and I didn’t like it and wanted it to end
- Date posted
- 4y
@Mandy7710 I understand. It’s rough going through this. But I believe that I do love my boyfriend, and if you are worried about it you probably love yours too. The things on the internet don’t help. They never help me. All they ever say is to break up, because not everyone understands what people like us go through. Ocd is a very broad anxiety disorder, not a perfectionist. That’s why it’s hard to find people like us on the internet. I think it’ll all be okay. I used to struggle with hocd but that went away. It’ll most likely come back, but I feel as if I’m ready for it this time. My rocd is hard to deal with because all I want to do is love my boyfriend, but i believe that both of us will get through it. Have you talked to him about your ocd??
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka When he saw me panic I told him I love him and I mean it!
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka He knows about it. He tells me to try to distract myself but it’s hard bc I feel like I can’t do the things I enjoy anymore due to the heat they might trigger me. I do love him a lot. I...I’ve went through this before 7 years ago... but it wasn’t like this... 😖
- Date posted
- 4y
@Mandy7710 It’s good that he’s there for you. He’s there to support you, and you seem like you can trust him if you’re able to panic in front of him. You’re meant to be with him, and I believe you will get through this :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@brooka 😭😭 thank you so much!! 😭😭
- Date posted
- 4y
Totally understand everything you guys are saying and completely feel the same. My boyfriend is literally the most amazing person and cares for me conditionally yet ocd still decides to focus on him. I completely agree when you said Nina that you feel more connection when you’re not scrutinising every little moment. I have a really bad compulsion of checking for the right feelings, after kissing etc, seeing if I get ‘love feelings’ and tingles. Are any of you on ssris? I’ve been on Zoloft since jan, and major decrease in libido which causes so much an anxiety! Thanks for sharing ur experience, it really is so nice to hear that you’re not the only one going through this! 💗
- Date posted
- 4y
Right now I feel like I know I don’t love my partner 😭 I feel like I don’t care either... I get nauseous thinking about sex with when I loved it before! 😖 there was times before where I had thoughts... but... I don’t wanna break up... 😖
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
- Date posted
- 16w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
- Date posted
- 10w
Okay. This might be a little long. Basically I’m just wondering if this is really ROCD or if I officially lost feelings for my current boyfriend. BACKGROUND ABOUT ME: I assume this might help whoever reads this, and that may explain my situation. Long story short I have bad anxiety and OCD about intrusive thoughts. I figured out about my anxiety from a therapist after it started to get really bad when I was in middle school. However I figured out about my OCD this year. Before middle school I started to get anxiety from my dad. My parents divorced and he was an emotional abuser and very narcissistic. So since I was little I was always careful on what I did and said. And then another topic is that I had an ex bf who acted close to him. He was very insecure so he was controlling over me and was narcissistic and also emotionally abusive towards me. Always played the victim, etc. So he kind of traumatized me because we fought daily and just the way he treated me. My current bf is a green flag to me. We don’t fight, he is kind, understanding, funny. He checks all my boxes. Me and him were friends for about a year before we considered being together. 2 MONTHS AGO: this is when it started. It was a Sunday and me and him were going to an event at my school. It was for seniors because we were graduating the Sunday coming up. And we hung out the past 2 days and from what I remember things were like they were. Me and him were about to hit 8months the up coming Monday and I did understand that’s the time where the “honeymoon” phase becomes more.. I’ll say realistic? Anyway, we were close to leaving and something in my gut was off. Idk what it was. Idk if I was nervous for the event or something. But I just had a weird feeling. Again I have bad anxiety and OCD so I was scared about all the kids that were there. I don’t know. Anyway we left and when got to about 3 minutes away from our location my bf turns to me in the car and tells me how lucky he is to have me and how much he loves me. Then the thought “idk if I love you the same anymore” came in my head. And my gut feeling worsened. It was unnoticeable before but after he said that and I thought what I thought it got so much worse. Like it was sickening for me. I I love you back immediately but that thought.. I didn’t let it go. I couldn’t enjoy the night at all. I tried to act like everything was fine but inside I was suffering. Later that night he took me home. And I couldn’t get rid of that thought in my head. We FaceTimed a bit later like we did almost every night but I couldn’t be on the phone. Every time I looked at him I felt guilty and that thought kept coming back that I lost my love for him. So about 5-10 mins later I told him I was tired, said our goodnights and hung up. I cried. I didn’t like what I was feeling and I didn’t know what it meant. It was hard to fall asleep but once I did I remember waking up in the middle of the night to the thought about my bf. I got up to splash water in my face to cool me off because I was sweating. I got ready for school and I was crying I was confused, worried, I didn’t even know. I cried to my mom later and she didn’t know what to say or do. I cried all day at school and my gut feeling was horrible. I’ve never had it as bad as I did the first few days after this started. PRESENT(2months later): I already typed a lot so I don’t want to make entire book. But now, it’s like the gut feeling is there but tolerable. I still get the thoughts and the gut feeling does worsen a bit when my bf texts me and I see his face in photos and such. Or even think about him. My main concern is that we are supposed to go on a trip together next month and before this happened I was so excited to go with him. And now it’s like “what if I’m not better” “I don’t love him anymore to go with him.” Idk what to do. It’s like a chore for everything, when I text him, hanging out, calling him. Everything. Idk why to do. Idk if it’s because I was reck for the event or because of graduation and needed a reason for my nervousness? Idk. He didn’t do anything, he hasn’t done a single thing but be there for me. As much as I’ve been there for him. I don’t want to lose him. There is more to this story so if you want to ask go for it. I know this is hella long so. But I just want the help. Please let me know!!
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