- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I am so sorry to hear about the relationship. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. That was a big part of your life and it’s human to miss someone that was there all the time. But I feel like you are also very aware that it wasn’t a good relationship and that you were strong enough to leave it. You should be proud of yourself and remember feelings fluctuate and happiness depends on you. It’s okay to not feel happy just yet... don’t force it because it will come to you! You got this and you are so so strong
- Date posted
- 4y
He used to make fun of my ocd and kicked me at my lowest . I need to remember this . I helped him get sober but at the end he got frustrated at my ocd and would give me a hard time . I need to remember these things
- Date posted
- 4y
Relationships are complex and copdendency affects so many people. You’re not in any way outside the norm to be experiencing it. The question is, what do you do with it now? As you’re aware, the relationship was toxic. But there’s also a lot of powerful emotions of connection and bonding you developed in that time. Self-compassion is useful here. Imagine yourself talking to a good friend going through what you’ve experienced. How would you talk to them? Would you judge them? Would you extend to them the courtesy of understanding? Can you give that to yourself? Second, you’re having thoughts and urges to check his social media. Again, the appearance of these things you aren’t responsible. You’re the culmination of environmental and genetic factors beyond your conscious will to decide. That being said, you can develop the artful skill at looking at them for what they are: fleeting phenomena in the overwhelming sea of thoughts you have in a given day. We often urge others to be kind to those around them, yet frequently don’t urge kindness towards ourselves.
- Date posted
- 4y
There is a part of me that thinks the relationship is toxic but there is another part that feels so much guilt . He made me feel guilt for ending it . I told him that I needed to recover due to my ocd and that I could not deal with his controlling ways . He showed no empathy . Instead, he accused me seeing another guy . He is selfish
- Date posted
- 4y
FYI . Please forgive my grammar . I am texting and working simultaneously
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous No worries! Yes, it’s okay to feel all those emotions at once. Where you’re getting tripped up is this notion that you “shouldn’t” feel them. You, of course, just feel them. Should or shouldn’t isn’t part of the equation.
- Date posted
- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett I just hope that I really did the right thing by ending the relationship. He was a recovered alcoholic who still was a dry drunk . Even though he was sober, he was so selfish and manipulating . Whenever I asked him an ocd question, there were times he would say “ what’s in it for me ?” Wow . I helped him get sober and this is what I get when I really needed him . Towards the end , his paranoia and lack of empathy was out of control
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous You already know it was the right thing to do. Now you’ve just got to accept that you’re going to feel a lot of emotions while you process it.
- Date posted
- 4y
FYI we were in a codependent relationship for three years . It’s been 7 weeks since I broke it off. He told me I would regret it , since “ he was so good to me “
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Do yall ever reread old texts from a toxic ex and try and “solve” stuff constantly? We ended things 4 months ago and every day I go through old texts trying to prove I wasn’t the bad one, make SURE she was toxic, “solve” a random toxic moment I remember and make sure I have ALL the details remembered accurately and that I’m not misremembering it. It’s like im still living in the relationship. It’s draining and will not stop. Is this an OCD thing? How is it fixed?
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m overanlazing alot of things. My first post on my profile covers everything but I’m so worried and like nervous reck of what my ex boyfriend could be doing. We are on no contact for almost 3 weeks now which is the longest we’ve ever gone. I’m getting so much into my head like if he already moved on, or if he’s talking with some girl already, or letting a girl hit on him. Or even going back to bad habits. It’s been driving me nuts for the past few days. I’m still mad at him for hurting me mentally but miss him too. I keep thinking there’s something wrong with me, wrong with the way I’m thinking, like I’m not normal for thinking these things. That he’d find me weird I wonder those things and that I check on his profile on instagram, just staring at it, blocking and un blocking him. I worry that maybe he doesn’t think of me anymore. And he just. Doesn’t care. I feel like an older version of him would say I’m being too much, that I’m overthinking to so many extents that even tho we are broken up, he’s single and so am I and I shouldn’t care this much about it. But I do. And I’m sure it’s because I’m still in love with him. Even if I’m mad and upset still.
- Date posted
- 7w
My ex just told me I’m a narcissist and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for days now. He broke up with me for the 7th and final time now and I did have an avoidance compulsion but I don’t think it was all ocd because he would continuously make poor choices and I was feeling used by the end of the relationship. However I was still trying to convince myself it would get better and it’s just a rough patch we’ll get through eventually. I blamed my ocd because I didn’t want to give up on him and I feel like maybe I was just in denial that it wasn’t meant to be but I also wanted out for a while now. I felt guilty for feeling relieved when he broke up with me but it was a civil conversation and it seemed like we were ending on good terms. But now he’s telling everyone that I’m a narcissist and I abused him emotionally and I was controlling when I let this man do WHATEVER he wanted. I’m controlling because I said I wanted to do his hair because I’m literally a stylist. He said I’m just like my mother and I’m a sh*tty person. He sent me a long paragraph of why I’m worse than all of his exes and that I’m a bad mother days after we broke up. I know I should’ve handled the situation differently but I don’t think that should ruin me as a person. He also said he no longer believes what the men in my past did to me because I’m a narcissist so that means I’m a liar. Knowing one of my biggest fears is becoming the people who hurt me. Part of me feels like he knew this was an obsession of mine and used it against me. I really feel like the worst person alive right now. Like Hitler level evil. I normally don’t post much but this is ruining me right now and I don’t know who else to turn to. I’m out of options and I’m really just helpless right now.
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