I hate my life 😞. I never really foresaw this coming

Never foresaw what coming?

These thoughts etc ive struggled for 16 years and now things have got so bad i feel like im in denial 😥

i cry everyday this is not living.

Read your username. You hate ocd! Ocd is NOT YOU! You have to trust me on this. Please. Ocd is not you at all. We have chemical imbalance in our brains. THIS ISNT YOUR FAULT. Trust me please ocd is a monster! It’s not who you are. The reason why you are suffering because you don’t like these thoughts. You are suffering because you care! But you don’t have to suffer. You have to accept these thoughts as just thoughts

It feels so real and like im in denial feels like i want it and im thinking about living my life as a gay man. But it upsets me and just doesnt feel right 😞. I just want to be with my gf but my brain is giving my a disgust towards her. What is this ?

This is called False Attraction. You can look it up. It’s linked to OCD. It’s your anxiety, not real genuine attraction

Yes, absolutely. It’s literally your ocd that’s making you think these things. And the reality is it’s not true at all!!! You are so fixated on it. Believe me it’s not real even if it feels real, it’s all false attraction and your ocd just messing with you. You don’t have to suffer, life is too short. I recommend you seek help as soon as you can, but just know the fact you don’t want to be gay goes to show you aren’t gay at all.

My mind does try and tell me different. But sometimes i sit there and im like this isnt me ?. I am having cbt and ive been back on my medication for 3 months now

I’m not quite sure if medication is good, I’ve heard lots of mixed reviews about it. In my personal opinion the best type of way to help fix this problem is to find a therapist on this app. I promise you. You aren’t your thoughts. It feels real yes, that’s because OCD gives a FALSE attraction. So yes, people who suffer from ocd, it’s normal to feel this! But it’s all your head, not you as a person.

I think the medication just takes the anxiety away. I dont think i can get help on here im from the uk ?