- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Try and sit with your thoughts and anxiety and not do any compulsions. I have contamination ocd as well as I hate people hugging me if they haven’t washed their hands and if I haven’t washed my hands I refuse to touch anything.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you. I sat with the Compulsions last night and I am this morning and I know the urge to wash everything g down etc will pass but what's distressing me more is how f annoyed and fixated on the fact she fibbed to me is really stuck in my head and I don't want it to spoil our day. If I can't let go of it it will. Its annoyed me too because we both agreed with my therapist that she wouldn't give me reassurance, which is what she did and she wouldnt lie about things, which she did. It feels like she just hasn't listened and does whatever makes things easier for her at the time. The Incinsistensy drives me mad.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Rosie38 Maybe tell her that you didn’t hear the water go on and tell her that your therapist said that your girlfriend can’t tell you reassurance.
- Date posted
- 4y
@hanajade I'm really scared to bring it up and I know she will get irritated. I told her this morning that I was up most of the night ruminating in the hopes that it would open up the conversation but she ignored it completely
- Date posted
- 4y
@Rosie38 I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe try telling your therapist that your girlfriend gave you reassurance and lied to your face. It’s sad to hear that she doesn’t want to talk about your ocd beliefs.
- Date posted
- 4y
@hanajade She told me before we had a joint call with my therapist that she was fed up talking about OCD all day everyday. I am still so angry about that because that's my life!! It is ocd 24/7 and the only way to get through it is talk about it but I don't feel I can now nor do I feel supported. Back to feeling that it's me on my own and it's my problem therefore deal with it and get better. But she's so sensitive lately there is NO WAY I can even express these things to her
- Date posted
- 4y
@Rosie38 I’m sorry to hear that your girlfriend doesn’t want to support you through your ocd because ocd is 24/7 all year. Try and talk it through or find someone else who can support you. If you ever want to message me privately you are more than welcome to.
- Date posted
- 4y
@hanajade Thank you so much. Its not that she doesn't want to support me, I think she just finds it hard. And doesn't really understand it. I just would like her to be more consistent with it
- Date posted
- 4y
@Rosie38 Maybe mention that to your girlfriend and see if she wants to talk.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m a good man and I know that. My OCD revolves around relationships. While dating someone a truly enjoy, I find myself needing to compulse everything on my mind or else I feel like I’m being a liar or keeping secrets. I also am pretty confident I suffer from false memory ocd. I don’t like to put a label on things but I’m 99.9% sure I do. My compulsions a lot of times come from things I’m not even sure are real. The more thought I put into them, the more I start to believe they are real. One of the worst compulsions I had in my relationship was I had a thought “what if I find my ex more attractive” and “what if I thought the sex with them was better”. I ended up compulsing these things to my gf. After lots of time to think and get a ahold of myself I was able to remind myself that these things weren’t true and I was just in a downward spiral. There was a 2-3 month period where every time I was relieved of something then I would instantly think of something else. These compulsions have caused insecurity in my gf and I feel like a terrible person. Never meant to hurt her at all and was just trying to find a sense of relief. While I know it is not true, I can’t fix things with words and I feel terrible. I would love to hear from people with tricks and strategies that can help. I love my gf and want to fix things and understand this is not a relationship fixer app but I would like to know what are some ways you are able to deal with these kind of things.
- Date posted
- 13w
My husband told me recently he was going to hang out with a local friend he often goes to see. It got very late and I heard nothing from him. Tried calling and texting. Stayed up all night thinking maybe he was dead or injured. Logged into our cell phone account to see if I could find any recent location and discovered he had talked to someone on the phone that night but he was like 2 hours away from home at that time. And also saw a phone number he was spending hours on the phone with every day. I had been confronting him about his secrecy prior to that and he kept telling me it was this friend or that friend, or he was just taking the dog on a long walk or having a fire out back. He finally called me back in the morning and I yelled at him. He told me he was randomly with two friends from longer ago and had gotten drunk and passed out, and hadn't told me about these plans because I had a heart surgery a few weeks prior and health concerns and he didn't want to stress me out. He told me the phone number was a girl that he related to on trauma factors and that he views like a little sister. He said he didn't tell me because he was caught up in his trauma spilling of events he didn't share with a single person since they occurred to him 35 years ago, due to feelings of shame and anger, and that he thought I would view it as emotional cheating. I told him it really could be viewed as emotional cheating and in principle, honesty shouldn't be dependent upon the outcome... lying isn't justified because I would be upset by the truth. Since then, he's been more open with me and tells me when that girl is calling, talks to me about their conversations, answers her calls when I'm present. I talked to him about boundaries and things I'm uncomfortable with or bothered by and he changes those things. Especially because I have trauma from an emotionally abusive ex, having him lie to me when I directly questioned him about what I was perceiving or experiencing and telling me those experiences weren't real, when they actually WERE real, has really messed me up. Now when he wants to hang out with a friend, I don't trust it. But I'm handling these feelings in destructive OCD ways. I spend literally the entire time he's gone thinking and thinking and thinking about what if he's lying or what he might be doing instead of what he said. I call and text him intermittently and feel like all of my obsessive thoughts are confirmed if he doesn't answer right away. I'm always checking the phone history. The driving toll history. Scrutinizing everything. I cannot get out of this mindset. It's like this horrible mixture of emotional flashbacks and OCD. I don't want to live like this. I want to work on my relationship in productive ways. I want to be able to use my own time while my husband is gone. Even if he lied to me and is somewhere other than he said, I don't want to lie in bed just thinking and thinking and thinking for entire days and nights. I'm not sure what I'm really asking here. This is just the only place where I feel like I can share this without people thinking "wow she's crazy".
- Date posted
- 8w
hi yall im new here but not new to ocd. for as long as i remember ive had tendencies and ive had compulsions. when i was like 6 i remember counting my steps and that started this life long thing. i get looks in public because ive been touching each side of my face for the past 10 minutes because it “didn’t feel right”. about every one in my life knows i have severe ocd and that’s fine but my grandmother told my mom behind my back one night that i was ‘manipulating’ her and that my ocd could be fake. this is because i can’t take the trash out of the track can because i can’t risk getting sick from old food, i cant use cleaning products on my hands to clean them. i have no probably taking the trash out it’s just removing it from the bin. i can’t do the dishes because its not clean and ill have an anxiety attack because its just simply too overwhelming for my ocd. those aren’t the only things but the list is just too long to write out. but we don’t live with my grandmother anymore. when we did my ocd wasn’t as progressed as it is now and i was able to hide most of my compulsions and “rituals” (what i call them) in private, therefore she doesn’t see how much it can affect my every move. this happened a while ago but i keep thinking about it and i get in my head. when im really struggling it’s hard to not convince myself that i’ve been lying to myself and so many others for 18 years. all my compulsions and intrusive thoughts and the goddamn hallucinations i’ve had from ocd are in fact real but how can my own grandmother call me manipulative like i don’t get it truthfully. i cannot imagine a situation in which someone would go through the trouble of washing their hands 4 times, of blinking 16 times before shutting their phone off. rewriting a whole text to their boyfriend because i misspelt a word and so now the whole text is wrong or any other of these things i and SO MANY people who have ocd or ocd tendencies would go through the trouble because it is SO paralyzing. clearly i’m not going to explain myself to her because i don’t have that energy esspecially if she is going to ‘mhm’ me and then go again behind my back and tell my mom (who fully understands and has tendencies herself and knows i don’t make this stuff up) that im a manipulator.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond