i hate myself.. i got to the point where if a girl walks in front of me and my boyfriend i look at him and if i see if he’s looking at her direction i got obsessive thoughts and i get mad with him even knowing that he can look and even knowing that he only loves me and im the girl most beautiful (to him, i dont think that im beautiful at all), i hate myself fr..

hi guys, i’m struggling again. the other day, my bf and i went to get ice cream and there was this girl with a fat ass. i pointed it out first because like super impressive and she’s my ideal body type at the moment. (note: i get jealous and freak over girls i have jealousy to) so i was staring at him to see if he was looking at her but i couldn’t tell, he was looking in her direction but she was in the front counter. idk if he was looking at her. i brought it up and he was really sweet about it and reassured me that he didn’t and that he purposely didn’t look out of respect for me. i believe him but i have a little voice in my ear telling me he’s lying and he obviously was looking. any tips on how to diminish that little voice ??

Does anybody else struggle with the fact, knowing that their boyfriend used to watch porn and makes it you feel jealous or super insecure about yourself? It’s weird because I knew my first boyfriend watched porn before we met and it never really bothered me and now I’m on my second boyfriend and he told me he watched porn and had an addiction about two years ago and is clean but for some reason, this just bothers me and makes me super insecure Way more than my first boyfriend. And I understand that he did two years ago, but the fact imagining him pleasuring himself to another girl and the fact that it’s a girl that has stuff that I don’t have just makes me feel super insecure about my own body, even though this was almost 3 years ago. I just don’t understand why all of a sudden I feel this way because anytime he mentions something like a girl popped up on Instagram. I automatically think oh like this is something he likes like he probably wishes I look like her or just the simple fact of knowing that it accidentally pops up and he sees it and then I hear about it and I just automatically like shut down and I get super insecure and have the time I don’t even want him to like, touch my body because I feel so insecure, knowing the fact that I don’t look like these Instagram girls that randomly just pop up. And it’s crazy because I never cared or thought this way but once I started dating my current boyfriend, I just can’t stop thinking about not being good enough because I don’t look like an Instagram model.

everytime i go out with my bf, he annoys me so much, but i get easily annoyed, he is just being himself and im so so si irritated by him, and i act out and i am rude to him, today i have upset him and he stopped talking to me. i font know what is wrong with me, i dont lnow if i like him, if i still have feelings, if i only want the ideea of the relationship, what if im only attached to him. i dont know anything, i have so many doubts. im so drained, i diny even know if i care that i upset him. i dont know. what if i dont care???