i hate myself.. i got to the point where if a girl walks in front of me and my boyfriend i look at him and if i see if he’s looking at her direction i got obsessive thoughts and i get mad with him even knowing that he can look and even knowing that he only loves me and im the girl most beautiful (to him, i dont think that im beautiful at all), i hate myself fr..

I know that feeling. I was constantly threatened by other women. Even his exes. He’s now my ex and I still worry. This has to do with my ROCD, BPD and possibly retroactive jealousy. The best thing I can say is see a therapist. Sooner the better.

he knows everything about my rocd and these obsessions, he understands me a lot but sometimes i kinda be afraid of tell him what i think cause its so “wtf?” sometimes it feels like i dont trust him but i do u know what im saying?

I get it completely. My husband said to me at one point that he feels like I was so obsessed with trying to have him confess to cheating (he didn't) that he felt he should say he did just so we could try and get past it. A lot of the really little things like looking at someone in public (I still secretly worry about that, but I know it's just my head) you need to try and use some positive talk in your head (it's difficult, I know) but try and reassure yourself of how strong your relationship is. If it's anything bigger or something that repeats, then speak with him. If you can, I'd definitely look for some help from therapy and stuff too!

what is BPD? sorry for the ask.. and im glad that im not the only one who feel like this

I had this horrendously for the first couple of years with my now-husband. I explained everything to him and, while it was a bit rocky at the time, he was so accommodating and supportive through it. Maybe you'd feel comfortable doing the same with your boyfriend? We're now happily married and have two kids, so I'm really glad I told him. I only get paranoid once in a blue moon now and getting it out in the open with him usually clears it up quickly. Hope this helps, I know it can be an absolute nightmare to navigate a normal relationship with these thoughts looming over you. X

im at a psychologist but he doesnt tell me anything that i want, he’s boring.. anyway thanks fo ur precious time fr, u helped me