- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
girl. the same thing literally happened to me when she came out on twitter and I also have hocd. and social media makes it sooo much worse! I would advise to not give in to checking (I struggle with this so much, to the point where it feels automatic now too!). and it feels SO real, but just remind yourself that it’s ocd and move onto doing something that will keep you busy. We can get through this:)
- Date posted
- 6y
mktropeano yes i feel you. before hocd, i was able to watch tv shows that have gay characters like orange is the new black with absolutely no problem. never questioned or doubted my sexuality during those times. i actually missed those days.
- Date posted
- 6y
i can relate!! i remember a couple years ago when my HOCD was at it’s peak, i was so triggered seeing youtubers coming out. i was so consumed with thoughts like “what if i come out like them and im just in denial right now?” and i would get so much anxiety. this ultimately just proves that OCD is very real. i think when we experience those times, we just have to accept the anxiety and the thoughts that we get and try not to fight with them.
- Date posted
- 6y
adrienne tell me about it!!! literally the worst. i used to be able to watch those w no problem and now i struggle so much. same w looking at my instagram feed! it’s the worst
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes... Before this I also never questioned or doubted even one in my life and don't even bother who r gay or not..... I really missed those days... Seriously.... It's choking
- Date posted
- 6y
It's seriously hell for any straight girl.... Means identity crisis...
- Date posted
- 6y
It's hell.... Can't tell u... Horrible punishment fr any straight girl
- Date posted
- 6y
girly i saw that vid in my notifs today and i didn’t click on it because i KNEW it was gonna trigger something in me. it’s all just OCD. we’re gonna get through it
- Date posted
- 6y
I really struggle with my instagram and twitter feed too!! and I find my brain latches on to a certain ‘type’ of lesbian (which rotates when the ocd gets tired of the last one) and it just feels SO real
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow I relate to all of this. It’s just fear, I feel the fear too
- Date posted
- 6y
adrienne same!!! i remember when my hocd spiked i tried to watch “everything sucks” i think and within the first episode the girl said she was a lesbian and i had to turn it off right away. triggered me so much! i thought i got past that then i saw this on youtube and now i’m all worried agajn :(
- Date posted
- 6y
mktropeano wow we honestly all feel the same way and its somewhat nice to know that! just proves that we all are experiencing ocd! we’ll all get through this!
- Date posted
- 6y
thank you omg. i know it’s weird but it’s almost refreshing to hear that someone deals w the same thing. makes me feel better that i’m not alone and just feel a little less crazy!!???
- Date posted
- 6y
But for how long
- Date posted
- 6y
m.a.d. mine does that too!!! and it’ll be types of people that i would never find attractive if my ocd wasn’t there. ocd is SO weird like that
- Date posted
- 6y
mktropeano yes!! I find I take a step back and think “these aren’t even qualities I admire in a person, so I wouldn’t even want to date her if I was a lesbian?”
- Date posted
- 6y
m.a.d. yes and then i either have a step back into reality and i’m good OR ocd decides to say i like a different kind of looking girl. and then it’s just a cycle. talking about it now it’s honestly making me laugh a little bit!!??
- Date posted
- 6y
adrienne i know right! i know it sounds weird but i think it’s refreshing to know people deal w the same thing. i’m just glad i’m not alone!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 12w
trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.
- Date posted
- 11w
hey guys, i am really really struggling and i feel like crying. evry day i get this feeling of sexual attraction to the same gender, and i get those feelings even just thinking about it now. i hste them and want them to go away but they simply won’t and it has me thinking that this is just how my life is gonna be like. when i was fully healed or atleast thought i was healed from the false attraction and soocd, i still sometimes got that attraction feeling, and i would force my body not to feel it. i hated it and was scared of liking it so i would like stop breathing and make it stop. it was only ever occasional but this is making me concerned now too, because i still sometimes felt that feeling when i was healed. now currently my main trigger is masculine girls, but when my soocd first started i had no false attraction or attraction like this towards girls, and it was all just in my mind like saying, “don’t look at that girl or you’re gay.” there was one point in my soocd where i was worried about being attracted to my friends, but i am greatful in the sense of i know that that is not true and my main issue is the false attraction watching videos and i have experienced it once in real life too and i hated it. please lmk what i should do or even if you can relate. i am sick of feeling th is way, and i am a christian too so this makes it harder. i’ve tried everything like accepting it, or trying to even say to myself yes u do like it but it always just leads to me being scared.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond