Once again the thoughts want to start right when I wake up dam and yesterday ended so well.

So, remember the devil used scripture to tempt Jesus in the desert. So there were moments where I was terrified of taking scripture in a perverted manner. So like, it's ok if I harm someone bc I'll just ask for forgiveness. Well, I know that's the enemy twisting scripture like he did with Jesus. So, I just speak truth back - God does not lead man into temptation. God hates sin. He would not lead me to do something terrible. As a believer we are called to love others. Commandment says, thou shall not kill. As a believer - I purposely will not turn my back on God's word. Does that make sense? As I'm typing this, I'm having an anxious fit and OCD is trying to make me afraid to share truth here and my struggle. But the thoughts for you - I understand. I struggled with that too. The apostle Paul tells us to think of whatever is pure, whatever is true, whatever is lovely - fill our mind with those things. Rebuke the thoughts in the name of Jesus. You cannot control your random thoughts. You can control how you respond. The Bible says the devil uses flaming arrows - those arrows come in the form of thoughts. The Bible tells us the devil is the father of all lies. It's okay to cry, sometimes its nice to let that stress out, but don't ever feel hopeless. It will end I promise. I downloaded the Bible app and do Bible studies on there about anxiety and fear. It helps too. Praying for you friend. It will get better. I promise. In the name of Jesus- you will be healed. Not my promise, but His - because by his wounds - WE ARE HEALED. <3

Ha!! I feel you! I always joke with mt counselor that I want to run with my training wheels on. I'm not sure how much therapy is needed? Each person is so different. The HARDEST part for me is learning not to do the compulsions. My compulsion was to fight the anxiety. I would say, "Nope - not today" then push it out. The issue with that is I'm not really dealing with the anxiety. Bottom line - thoughts aren't dangerous. I need to teach myself that, but it's hard. I know though, that I am light-years away from where I used to be. So if I keep remembering that, then I know there will be a time where I look back on this moment and be like - oh wow, it used to bother me. Does that make sense? I know the feeling of being done with it now. Especially because it's sooooo incredibly draining. But we must focus on the light ahead of us. We will get there. Just take it a day at a time and remind yourself that the OCD is not who you are. You are a strong and resilient person. You will be victorious. Lastly, Rome wasn't built in a day. Don't be so hard on yourself. Ha. Easier said than done - from one OCD'er to another.