Back at university now in the house I'm living in for the year, which is where my ocd originally kind of started (or at least got extremely intense and horrible). I can already feel my anxiety getting worse. Hopefully the fact that the dosage of my meds has been increased will help a little. Would love it if you guys good think good thoughts at me x

I’m sorry. I feel negative vibes anywhere where I’ve had panic attacks as well. Hope your meds work and can help you xxx

Thank you hales xxx

See it as exposure. Seems like the brain won’t give it’s fears up easily. Are you engaging in a meditation practice? I recommend it. I also recommend acceptance of the thoughts and acceptance of the possibility of the thoughts. Beat in mind this theme is strong because it’s the LEAST possible of all the things you could do - to the point of absolute non-acceptance. It’s about accepting something greater than 0%, and affirming you only need absolute confidence rather than absolute certainty. I am finding over time (and I could be shit tomorrow) but......the subconscious programming seems to be coming around to the idea that this is ok. Not ideal, but ok. I also feel it pulling in all sorts of themes now so it’s desperation to switch shows I’m on the eighth path. Lastly - I have been thinking a lot about Shane rather than guilt. I’ve done nothing wrong so guilt is misplaced, but the shame of thoughts of harming or doing something inappropriate with my wife or kids makes me feel utterly shameful and disgusting as an individual. I wonder - if we could really repair that Shane we feel - even if it isn’t true we sure as hell FEEL it a lot........how transformative would that be for all of us? Especially those of us with awful themes. I think of @halespineapple18: here is a girl who dedicates her life to the nurturing of other people’s little ones, yet her mind torments her with thoughts that she might do what she considers to be (and society) the most damaging thing you can inflict on a child. It’s interesting because despite her thoughts, and my knowledge of her thoughts, and my protection of my kids due partly to my past, and having never met here - I’d GLADLY ask her to look after mine ( I might even force her to do exposure to nasty thoughts and then tell me what they were?). I won’t even let some family near them, but I would not think twice about @hlaespineapple18 doing whatever with them. It’s VERY interesting that I would trust this person who doesn’t always trust themselves, yet I haven’t always trusted myself for the same sorts of thoughts. What do you guys think about the role of Shame in all this? And what can we do to combat it? Not reassurance seeking - I’m looking for feedback on how we could all exorcise a toxic emotion.

Thanks soniclen I would trust you too. You are asking what I think about the role of shame? Not sure I mean I feel guilty and shameful everyday and I honestly think most days I have reason to. This ocd is just awful. I like what you said about accepting something greater than 0%. Confidence is much easier to attain than certainty. No one can have that