We hired 2 new males associates... we only usually have female workers and one male. I am very uncomfortable around one of them.. I am so scared I am gonna leave my partner! I’m scared bc I’ve been finding men more attractive lately without me even saying anything... it’s like the back of my mind is saying hey! Look at him he’s handsome! Date him! My friend and I had a long talk yesterday and she asked me a load full of questions about why I am convinced I don’t love my partner anymore... I broke down crying.... freaking out when she would say things about him.. she kept telling me people who know they don’t love their partner doesn’t cry this badly over it. 😞 I answered questions.. she asked is he that boring to where you wanna leave him? Even now writing that I feel like I am lying to her, all of you and myself.. he can be boring sometimes but who isn’t... I am obsessing over a lot..... I’ve gained weight, been stress buying things I really don’t need, crying still... I test myself saying I am gonna break up with my partner.... to just get a reaction... 😞 I complemented him this morning and felt a sick feeling in my stomach. He saw me have a panic attack by looking to the side and just staring at the floor.. 😞 I know I love him a lot I really really do.... I am scared to have sex still....

No nothing

@Mandy7710 You should get and OCD therapist, how did this all start for you?

@ophillips I’ve always had pretty bad anxiety growing up. But it started In the beginning of my relationship with my partner. He lived with me and my family for a year but when he moved out I took it pretty hard. We didn’t break up my mom just wanted him gone. I would cry everyday single day non stop until I passed out. The first night without him was pretty hard. I believe him leaving triggered this obsessing. I would cry and cry until he came back to visit me. But when he left again I broke down. I can’t handle change too well so that didn’t help. I’ve been obsessing since 2014 about if I loved him or not. I almost broke up with him and told him I didn’t love him. But it was a lie I love him a lot. Then we moved out together where we are now and my brain couldn’t handle the change I was going through leaving my mothers house for the first time. I had panic attacks felt like I really didn’t wanna make love with him when we moved in here for the first year. Like I said I obsessed for years all the way up until now. So I’ve been obsessing going on 8 years. I’ve had ocd about other things too not just this. But how I got triggered this time was back in 7/7/2020 my partner had a talk with me telling me what he’s been feeling for a while now. He still loves me a lot. But he was concerned about a lot of things in our relationship. My brain couldn’t handle the stress of it. So I had a HUGE mental breakdown bc I felt like he was going to abandon me like my father did. Before it got this bad I doubted his love for me, I thought he was going to leave me at anytime. Then I obsessed about him cheating on me or that he was hiding something from me, then I started to obsess about all the things I’ve never wanted him to find out. I would confess about one thing then something new came up I obsessed about that until I told him everything. The I started to doubt my feelings for him all over again.. then obsessed about it I found him sexually attractive, obsessed about everything he said in that talk. It’s bad

@ophillips Depression and anxiety runs in both sides of my family so it doesn’t help. Plus the way I was raised didn’t help either.

@Mandy7710 Right now it feel like I have no anxiety but I am still obsessing and testing my feelings for him. Change is what triggered me.