Does anyone have any suggestions or experiences dealing with fears of having done something unforgivable in the past? I had an ex who had emotionally abusive behaviors and took advantage of me sexually, and my fears are that I could’ve done something to him and forgotten or just not realized it was wrong in the moment? Any suggestions or help would be wonderful :)

Not very :/

@anaserafina Are you able to begin ERP through NOCD?

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Possibly? Whats something I’d need to do in ERP?

@anaserafina ERP is exposure-response prevention therapy. This entails intentionally exposing yourself a trigger, and practicing resisting compulsions. So, if you have contamination OCD, for example, that would maybe be touching something dirty without washing your hands. If you have harm OCD, that might holding a knife around someone else and not avoiding them. The list goes on and it can be tailored to any type of obsession or theme.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett How could I go about that for this particular worry of mine?

@anaserafina Well, you can’t experience the situation over again. What many people do is write imaginal scripts and read, write, listen to, record/replay them. So you might write a script about this situation as though your worst fear is true. But, this is best done with a trained therapist who can guide you through the process. There’s a lot of nuance to ERP therapy.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett So I know a little about ERP, is it mostly about accepting uncertainty? Accepting both scenarios of either I did it or didn’t? Obviously easier said than done but that’s the goal?

@anaserafina Correct. It’s accepting that you can’t possibly answer the obsession in a satisfactory way, and that trying to do so is what’s causing the issue.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Do you have any tips for when I start to ruminate? Once I remind myself, oh what if I did this at some point in our relationship I try to scan through mentally and sometimes it’s not intentional and other times I’d set time aside to sift through anything I could remember, but I haven’t found anything? The guilt makes me feel like I must have though

@anaserafina Sure. We can think of mental health like physical health. We all are at various levels of “fitness”. You don’t take a year off from the gym and go run a marathon. You start off slow and with your way up. So, set a small goal to increase every day. Today, I’m going to set aside ten minutes and not ruminate. Add ten minutes a day. Mindfulness is a great tool to develop. There’s lots of apps out there to practice it via meditation. You can try this one out if you like! https://redeem.tenpercent.com/?promo_code=TPH-SZHM-WL24

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Thank you for all your help! I will give that a shot; I was also wondering since I haven’t been actually diagnosed with OCD, do my symptoms still align? I’m not sure if you can answer that but just thought I’d ask just in case:)

@anaserafina I can’t, as I’m not a mental health professional. Just an advocate who has had OCD for 25+ years, has been through treatment, and now tries to provide insight or advice where I can! Good luck!