I can NEVER fucking shop. I always think I’m going to get the wrong thing. So I keep looking for the BEST OPTION because that way I get my money’s worth. I feel like I have such bad luck that even if I get the best quality, that should last for years, it will only last for 6 months. So I keep checking the reviews and keep looking for better products. Sometimes things stay in my cart for fucking months. Friend also noted that I’ve mentioned buy a thing years ago, but I never got it cause my OCD said it was right or good enough. Urghhhh. I just want to buy a fucking weighted blanket without obsessing about which brand is best or right!!! CAUSE THERE IS NO RIGHT!

i’ve unfortunately fallen into the cycle of trying to figure out my thoughts and find answers as to why i feel so distressed. this still pertains to the situation regarding changing my room for those reading who have seen my multiple posts over the last few days. i’ve been so distressed and in so much panic about it. i’m also panicking over my other room looking so different from when i left it. it’s been making me feel crazy because to me there’s no reason for my anxiety to latch so hard onto something that seems so minuscule. i was thinking i was having anxiety over change, but it’s like symptoms of ocd too that’s making it really hard for me to let go. SO i started thinking maybe it was perfectionism ocd? i’ve realized over time that i do compulsions to where things have to feel “just right”, but i also do that with any environment i’m in. like it HAS to feel cozy to me and provide me comfort in order for me to feel at ease. and this change is causing me to panic because there’s something wrong that i can’t find an answer to. maybe the different colored carpet? but it’s also more than that it feels like. however, now it’s spreading into other areas of my house where i’ve always been fine in and possibly to just any area i’m in at all. hence why it’s making me feel crazy because there’s no reason for me to be THIS distressed over that as i’ve never really had this problem before. and when i did it would last maybe an hour to a couple of days at most, but this has been going for over 2 weeks with my really bad anxiety being this week. i’m doing a little better, but it’s still hard when i can feel that panic waiting for me to acknowledge and just engulf me in the ocd cycle. i’m also analyzing basically any feeling i have so i just feel off in general and like i’m going insane. i’ve been so hyper focused on how i feel and that will send me spiraling too. multiple themes then start coming in like existential ocd and fear of solipsism. not to mention my harm and contamination ocd that just adds on when i’m this vulnerable. then i worry if no one is real, then no one feels the way i do. or just in general that what if no one feels the way i do. honestly, i think being out of college and in my house with nothing to do is causing me too much time with my thoughts. which is why i’m so distressed about everything that pops into my brain.

Does anybody else suffer from OCD due to finances? I always can’t help but feel if I buy a certain item it’ll be my downfall or spiraling of bad habits that’ll leave me broke. Even if it comes to wanting to plan a vacation I always feel like I can’t I need to save that money because something will happen. I’m unsure if I’m conflating these feelings with just life

I get so stuck when making decisions. I guess it’s called executive functioning and before my OCD diagnosis I just thought I was a perfectionist and needed to make sure everything would be perfect before making the decision. Turns out it’s part of OCD?