- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I love love love this comment. I suffer this exact same thinking. I go so far as buying a subscription to consumer reports and researching and comparing every single product before settling on one...and god forbid I find out consumer reports missed some models. -took me a couple months to buy a vacuum cleaner -wanted a fuzzy blanket so I spent a month researching fabric types, brands -gave up on painting because there’s millions of shades of colors and you can imagine what that did to my brain I’m here and excited about my first therapy session. I feel your pain brother.
- Date posted
- 4y
This is SO relatable. I have quite a lot of money saved up, which probably sounds blissful. It is terrible and it is from the fact that I never buy myself anything. If all my socks are full of holes I can still compulse around figuring out if it is right to buy some new pairs. Some years ago it was a fantastic summer and I had no pair of shorts. I spendt 3 days going to the store twice tp figure of it I was gonna spend 20$ on a pair of shorts. And I wanted to kill myself because whaf it if wasnt "right". This problem is truly inhibiting and destructive. But exposures do help.
- Date posted
- 4y
I too have a lot of money. People think of me as a bank cause I have instant large sum of money. BUT THAT ONLY BECAUSE IM TOO ANXIOUS ILL ”spend it incorrectly “ or “waste” IT. I often watch people spend MY money on themselves cause I can’t spend it on me. I originally posted the message because my family is trying to expose me to purchasing thing within a week. Sadly, it doesn’t FEEL good to purchase anything without extensive research.
- Date posted
- 4y
@PureOfor1please That sounds like a good exposure. I really do recommend Freedom from OCD by Jonathan Grayson. It makes a claim for making decisions and doing things no matter how it feels. For instance going to the movies in my country costs 10-20$. I would never go to the movies because researching and making a choice feels so bad and like it never is truly right. What is the point in going to the movies, something meant to be fun, when it is tormenting? So I avoid. The consequence: I never do anything cause everything is a decision. The exposures wont feel right. It will feel terrible making decisions and pointless and terrifying to spend money on things that feels so wrong and haphazard. But it is the only way to beat OCD. By doing it anywayd and preventing compulsions. Practising making decisions. The book made me realize committing to do things even if what is supposed to feel good feels terrible is the way to break free and in time get to the point where those things will feel good. Spend your money on the book! ❤ Im rooting for you.
- Date posted
- 4y
Never thought it was ocd related lol. I hate shopping because I obsess over what to buy and I end up getting over stimulated and a fat headache.
- Date posted
- 4y
I think it has to do with ‘perfectionism.’
- Date posted
- 4y
@ShyGuy1979 It has to do with indecision. I recommend Freedom from OCD by Jonathan Grayson. He has a minichapter on it.
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Thank you for telling me about that. I’ll have to definitely check this out.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ShyGuy1979 I mean indecision probably has to do with perfectionism. Because we strive to make the perfect choice. I didnt mean to sound like what you said was wrong. Just wanted to fill in. Reading that minichapter changed my life.
- Date posted
- 4y
Fine if you want I was overwhelmed that I fell asleep. But it also was 2 a, so maybe that was a good thing 🤷🏾♀️. I just want to finally get the weighted blanket and see if it helps me settle into sleep. But I gave random criteria I swear is relative for me to make a purchase.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Idk if this is OCD per se, it feels more like perfectionism than anything. but I was wondering if anyone can relate. I’m a girl approaching the age of 20 and there are certain things I really want to be able to enjoy and pamper myself with, like getting my nails done, or getting a lash lift. But I’ve discovered that doing either brings me a lot of stress. For example, I just bought some nice press on nails last week and I put them on last night (which took me soooo long) and I’ve been so stressed about them since. I keep worrying that they’re going to fall off right away and I keep checking them and pushing on them to see, so much so that I worry I’m going to make them loose. I already had one looking like it was starting to lift, and instead of leaving it I pulled it off entirely cuz I’d rather start over and redo it than have it fall off, and now I’m worried my other nails are gonna fall off and that I should just pull them off now before they do. I keep pushing on one nail that feels loose to me. But it hasn’t lifted, but I’ve pushed it so much now that I want to rip it off. And another example, when I get a lash lift I worry so much because I start obsessing over the evenness of the curl on both sides. It always feels like one side is more curled than the other. Or that one side looks more fuller (more lashes) than the other and it makes me stressed. And I also obsess over those pesky lashes that just didn’t want to curl and I try pulling them out sometimes to make it look for even. It’s just little things like that which make these experiences unenjoyable for me, even tho I so badly want to enjoy them. I spent money on these nails and I want them to last and I’m so worried that I did them wrong and ruined it. I just don’t want them to fall off. But they’re caused me a lot of stress in the last 24hrs and I’ve been hyperfixating on them so much.
- Date posted
- 24w
I had a few gift cards for Joann fabrics saved up from when I was in highschool, it was at least 150$ worth of Joanns gift cards. But I always feel a lot of guilt and anxiety surrounding spending money and I never used them, I always felt like I hadn’t earned it. About a month ago or so, I talked with my therapist about spending them online as an exposure. I added a bunch of things to my cart and then at the last minute, I closed out of the page and didn’t go through with it. I felt so anxious about choosing the wrong things, and so guilty about how wasteful and frivolous it is to buy new things for fun. I always feel guilty buying new things because the system is so unethical, and also because I feel like I haven’t earned them. I think about all the things I still need to do and how irresponsible I have been, and how spoiled I must be that I think I deserve all these shiny new things because I want them while other people are homeless or struggling just to eat. I always think about how I should spend my money donating to better causes because there are people who need it more than me, but I also never feel like I can donate anywhere because I get worried about how much to donate and wether I’m a bad person for not giving enough. Well anyway, Joann fabrics is going out of business now. So I finally went in person to spend them, but it turns out they no longer accept gift cards due to the store going bankrupt. I know it sounds silly, and it’s just a silly craft store and ultimately in the grand scheme of life it is not a big deal, but I feel so disappointed that I wasn’t able to follow through with the goal I had set before. I always thought I would save them for a special time when I had earned them, but that time never came, there is not some magical occasion where I feel like I have finally earned my own permission. It’s just a cycle of refusing to reward myself because I always feel like I haven’t earned it. I’m not sure exactly where I’m going with this, I haven’t posted on here before because I always talk myself out of it but the whole thing just got me thinking. I don’t wanna spend my life waiting until I have done enough good deeds and cleared my moral slate enough that I have earned the right to live my life, that time never comes. It just really hit me today
- Date posted
- 17w
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
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