I wish I were exceptional and it affects me. By exceptional I mean popular, or standing out from the crowd, being celebrated. Idk if this is perfectionism ocd but I want to lay my triggers out. I’ve noticed that people who go to Ivy League schools get famous more easily. They even accidentally make popular memes and Twitters. It’s like they know how to capture the public. They’re exceptional. In high school, I didn’t get into any Ivy League I applied to. Now, I noticed two recent triggers. In the tv show The Crown, Prince Charles (who is a jackass in it, I know) is super jealous of Diana for how much people love her. And everyone says how he should be happy and proud of her. That is healthy, but I would be mortified in his position. Imagine everyone telling you you need to be a country’s leader, but someone else is doing so much better than you at it. And the whole world sees it. I know that’s egostical, but bare with me. Another is Victoria Justice and Ariana Grande. There’s viral memes of Victoria going “i think we all sing” while people are saying Ariana loves to sing. Both of them come across as bitter, but I understand them both. I’m a writer, and I feel this mentality affecting how I share my writing. I don’t want to share it because I feel like no one will care, or they’ll cringe at it and then say someone else’s is so much better. I know this is unhealthy and that it probably has to do with high school trauma (was bullied). I also know that not everyone is good at every role. Maybe Prince Charles would be a bad king but a great actor, or something. But I don’t know how to fix this in myself. I feel very inadequate if most people don’t talk about me like that. There’s also a reddit thread I read about how people will treat an ugly and pretty person differently to their face. Their description crushed me. I have friends in my life. I also do have hobbies and plans for the future. But I don’t know how to respond to this feeling. I could be mindful of it, but I don’t want to just ignore it. I want to genuinely remove this jealousy and know how to enjoy myself and like what I do.

Perfectionism OCD

BeachedMermaid

Date posted: 4y

I’m a fellow writer, and I feel the same way about sharing my writing. All writers do this though so we’re normal lol. I guess it kinda depends on how you see the world, what you think of beauty. I used to worry about this a bit, but I came to a conclusion that we’re all people, popular, or not. We all experience life differently, and I think that’s beautiful. I don’t suggest thinking your way out of it though, becuase I’ve heard it’s not helpful to try and ruminate even more.

rootytooty

Date posted: 4y

“We’re all people, popular or not” That’s valuable. I guess it is kinda silly to think people can only have have value if they’re “exceptional” or whatever. I never thought they didn’t but somehow it feels that way when you’re the one being compared. But then again, people are insensitive when they don’t know you. I hope you share your writing and enjoy it, no matter the response! It’s a great accomplishment to write and finish something at all imo.

BeachedMermaid

Date posted: 4y

@rootytooty Glad that was helpful 😊 I know I compare myself to people all the time, it’s hard to not feel inferior too popular people sometimes. I hope you share your writing too 💗

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 4y

So, we know that we don’t control what emotions our brain produces. How would you propose removing it?

rootytooty

Date posted: 4y

I know that I can’t remove it. I could sit with it and not react to the emotions. How do I not believe them though? I don’t want resentment to come out at random times.

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 4y

@rootytooty Resentment is an emotion created by independent systems of the brain that are not within your conscious ability to control. You can’t stop it from appearing. What you CAN do is take valued actions and disregard the emotional distress created by the appearance of resentment seriously.

rootytooty

Date posted: 4y

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett So like mindfulness I guess? “I’m aware of this emotion and I’m going to let it sit and then pass” without taking actions out of jealousy.

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 4y

@rootytooty That’s right. Or even better, share your writing. Understand that it could be an uncomfortable experience, but that discomfort isn’t what guides your actions.

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