hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 4y
thebeginning thebeginning
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- 4y
No, but sometimes I get the feeling like if I try to date a girl (I'm a girl) I'd like it and ugh I hate it :( It scares me because I've had hocd for years and even before then I wasn't boy crazy.
「sickmindhuman」「sickmindhuman」
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm experiencing this too.I'm so helpless.Like it feels so real 😭
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 4y
Not like sad but it says “the reason your sad is because you’re not accepting you’re a lesbian”:(
thebeginning thebeginning
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- 4y
@miragunes It is! It's so scary!
thebeginning thebeginning
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- 4y
@hate_ocd.123 I get that but with the fact that dating in general freaks me out lol so it makes me feel like I don't want to date cause I'll find out I don't actually like boys
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
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- 4y
@thebeginning Sameeee i have a lot of anxiety with dating as well
thebeginning thebeginning
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- 4y
@hate_ocd.123 It sucks :(
missblueskymissbluesky
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- 4y
@thebeginning same, I have terrible dating/social anxiety and feel like it’s because i’m repressing my sexuality
thebeginning thebeginning
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- 4y
@missbluesky Yeah it's so scary! I don't want to find out I truly don't like boys.
thebeginning thebeginning
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- 4y
@Bryan Yeah! It's just so convincing and real sometimes especially since I haven't dated and even before hocd I wasn't boy crazy and that scares me :( But wow! 18 years?! It's been about 6 years for me
thebeginning thebeginning
- Date posted
- 4y
@Bryan Aw the ring thing is adorable!! And hope you can overcome this soon! And I'll try, I'm just so afraid it'll confirm my fears since I’ve never dated and I'm still not dating, plus I've never been boy crazy like some people say. It's just so convincing sometimes
thebeginning thebeginning
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- 4y
@Bryan Yeah you're right, but it's scary. But thank you!!
tay_gagnontay_gagnon
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- 4y
I know how that feels, with my boyfriend I had talked to my therapist and I was like I know I adore him and love him and she was like you can still love him and be a lesbian and I was like OMG IS THAT WHAT IM DOING and of course I felt even more guilty 😔
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 4y
Omg what therapist was that?? Was it an ocd therapist who dido erp cause that would just make me worse if they said that🤣
BeachedMermaid BeachedMermaid
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- 4y
Sorry she said that, it’s so hard not to trust your feelings.
tay_gagnontay_gagnon
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- 4y
I feel this so badly and I feel like I’m repressing it somehow too. I love my boyfriend so dearly and it feels like I’m being so fake with him and all I want to do is love him like I did before I worried about all of this 😔
「sickmindhuman」「sickmindhuman」
- Date posted
- 4y
ı feel the same.It feels so depressed :(
tay_gagnontay_gagnon
- Date posted
- 4y
She’s dealt with a lot of OCD but she’s trying to make me consider the worst case scenario. I have a very confusing past because I saw lesbian porn at a VERY young age and I’ve had a lot of trauma so I’m confused as to what exactly is going on. She said I definitely have an OCD thought pattern
missblueskymissbluesky
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- 4y
wait what?? so your therapist thinks it’s possible that you’re a lesbian?
tay_gagnontay_gagnon
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- 4y
@missbluesky She said she doesn’t think it’s the case but it’s a possibility, there’s possibilities of everything. I’ve been trying to take the “maybe, maybe not” approach to try and stop worrying about it for the moment. I love my boyfriend and that’s why it scares me so much. My past experiences just make me question everything 😔
missblueskymissbluesky
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- 4y
@tay_gagnon i see, so she’s doing ERP. do you mind if i ask what your past is?
tay_gagnontay_gagnon
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- 4y
@missbluesky The second she did ERP it’s made me feel like I’m a lesbian and it scares the hell out of me and it makes me feel depressed and like a fraud. In my past, I saw lesbian porn at a very young age, and had a few typical experiences very younger where I kissed a girl, but I always focused on the boys. I lost my mother at 12 years old and had a tough time throughout life and was never confident because I was a tomboy but once I started getting to later middle school I became girlier. I’ve always found girls attractive, but I noticed I would get envious of them because I had really low self esteem. She thinks the porn potentially affected how I am and such regarding sexual orientation. I’m trying to remember it’s a spectrum but it’s almost like my brain has such a black and white thinking. I’ve always been a huge overthinker and always have been an anxious person. I just truly don’t know who I am anymore 😔
BeachedMermaid BeachedMermaid
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- 4y
I’m so sorry about that. Yeah I always worry that am I just repressing it too. Mine personally worries more about being attracted to girls, and not knowing it, not really the emotional aspect as often. But for years I didn’t know about HOCD though, I’m so glad I’m not crazy. 💗stay strong
hate_ocd.123hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 4y
Mine has done that before too:(
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