Can OCD cause false memories ? I’ve seen something about it on here before but didn’t have time to read it. I’m really concerned because about 2 days ago, I was reading and read the word ‘kissing’ and then all of a sudden i got this thought in my head (like how OCD usually randomly sets off a trigger) and the thought is so horrible (I suffer with POCD) and I was like omg I know what it’s like to kiss a child (like, it felt like I genuinely remembered how it felt). And I started to panic so much thinking when have a I done that. These thoughts tend to involve my nephews because they’re really young, from ages 1-6, so my POCD often gives me intrusive thoughts about them. But this thought felt so real to the point where I keep thinking it’s actually happened. I did have a dream the other day that had my nephew in and it was so inappropriate and made me feel sick and guilty, so maybe this is where the false memory has come from. And I was like omg what if I’ve kissed him. And then I got really upset even though I know I haven’t because I would never do that ever and it makes me feel sick. So then the thought proceeded to omg you must’ve kissed your brother. And then the thoughts became so real all of a sudden and I started to panic so much ! I feel like this has genuinely happened when I was little (obviously not knowing that what I was doing was wrong) but it’s making me feel so sick and I don’t even know if it actually happened or not !! I’m so stressed having this on my mind and not even knowing. And what makes it worse is that the thought/ memory is like not just a kiss, it’s like a proper kiss and I feel sick !! But I don’t even know if it happened !!! How does the mind do This ?! And what makes it worse is that I remember when I was little and I was playing with my younger brother and we were tickling each other, and then I said I wanted to show him something that would tickle, and I started to tickle him (down there) and then it was like massaging it for a few seconds because I’d done it to myself so thought it was okay. I was only little so obviously didn’t know what I was doing and I told my mum about it ages ago because I felt awful and horrible. But now this thought that this kissing thing actually happened, I don’t even know what to do! I feel so guilty and sick and the fact that I can’t tell if it’s real or not is frustrating me so much ! Can this kissing thing be a false memory ? I feel like a terrible person !

I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?

Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.

(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.