I am excited but knowing I'm going to pay for my books and I'm going to be okay but for some reason I got like anxious feelings until I get the books actually mailed out it's like over anxious feelings I start college in January

I keep checking and checking to see if it's came out my bank is that considered part of my ocd or is that like normal for most people like just checking status

I hate to look at Everything like it's part of my ocd

Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Assuming that it is, then you can practice not checking. Assuming it isn’t, then there’s nothing to change.

Good idea so not that serious like you said if it's part of it check it less simple fix

we do that we look at perspectives as more serious than they are sometimes but you put it in exact terms of just check it less if it is

True

Unpleasant reminder just now hard very hard to hear someone your close too or friends with has addictions and my first husband died from overdose I have had some traumatic things I’ve not discussed in a long time I over came them I ran over some one years before he passed on drugs he was committing suicide so yeah my ocd didn’t appear out of thin air it came from ptsd

I’ve talked to probably ninety therapist and been to ninety doctors I just have the ocd left over I have faith though

See my first hubby had too close friends die two years before he overdosed and died I don’t know if that triggered his addiction further or it’s just the addiction

So I have had years of battling all these things

I’m remarried and happy and my ocd is that I’m going to fall or have it all taken from me because I lost homes before he died a lot and then I kept moving back home so I think my fear is part of being moved like a pair of dirty socks I just am so glad I kept this job I have for a year in four months I just want to stay put

I don’t want to switch jobs or move from my parents I just want consistent life I feel like I’m grown and show move out my I can’t go through not having enough and having to disturb my consistentsy right now

I’m just not gonna lie I’m not moving out my parents and I’m not switching jobs I feel like if I do all hope will be lost and I will finally hit my last edge and snap

That’s why I got so upset about the raise it’s just I just want to be treated equal I’m no more mental than others

But I’m not holding on to past trauma I just want to be treated like an equal opportunist

I just rather leave my past behind me because there are other things involving causing stressors I moved past them but honey I don’t think anybody could of went through this much until I got my second hubby straight I went through more so I’m healed and repaired the only justice I want honeys is to be treated with my jobs as they same decency when it’s my time for a raise I just want equal treatment

I feel like I is it ever possible for me or am I just leaning on everlasting false equal treatment for me is it against my human nature to be put down to nothing is it possible I deserve fair equality

Or every time I get on my feet I’m gonna be dropped down to nothing by why I’m not on drugs I’m trying I don’t understand I just want to cry

I didn’t make these people turn to drugs I avoided people that did them I was scared I would get drawn into the addictive personality but I won’t because I lived with my first hubby I am strong I never had addictive personality

I am all in my emotions this is probably pmdd talking I’m going to bed

I’m probably shouldn’t discuss my raise till hormonal time ends just to make sure I make full logic intact I never do that with emotion in the way

That’s one thing therapist recommended with my pmdd it’s a week away from time so yeah I’m gonna I’m listen to there advice