For everyone that has hocd I realized I’ve struggled with this since around 11th grade and now I’m a freshman in college it all started randomly sometimes I’d look over at a man or someone in locker room and instantly think omg am I attracted to them and I’d start to get super nervous and anxious but when I had feelings for a women or was dating a girl it rarely happend then it started to happen a lot in college and when I moved home I obsess about it I test myself almost everyday and get no arousal from thinking of or seeing same sex stuff only still from opposite sex but these thoughts still try to twist my mind everytime I try to convince myself I’m straight or otherwise they twist it saying oh what about that one time see those thoughts this hocd feeds off of fear as long as we keep trying to push them out the more they find ways to stay it almost feels like there is no way to beat it and that u have to accept that ur gay and just start moving on with men but deep down u know ur straight and all ur feelings ur whole life point to it is it like this for anyone else I feel like the thoughts have completely taken over I feel lost and hopeless now like I’ve just been doubting all along even though I’ve had 2 therapists tell me it’s hocd/intrusive thoughts

Sexual Orientation OCD

nGfloat

Date posted: 4y

Yeah, it sucks. I know how it feels. I am struggling with it right now. I’ll be in public and it makes me feel like I am actually attracted, and that’s what I want even though it isn’t. I don’t know what to do. I just want relief. I try to stop the compulsions, but it is hard.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

It feels like it took over my mind watching and looking dosent even cause me disgust anymore I don’t know what to do

nGfloat

Date posted: 4y

Yeah man, same. It is distressing still by and large, but feels so real. Does that happen to you in public when you see a dude? It is so confusing because I am almost certain I am attracted to women, and it feels different, but this twists that even and messes with me. I can’t take this.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Yea man For some reason ever since I started obsessing over these thoughts it makes me think I am attracted to every man I see I wasn’t even attracted to every women I saw without this it’s so confusing makes u think ur gay even though ur not like it’s gotten so bad I’m starting to doubt

nGfloat

Date posted: 4y

Me too man. I literally was looking at pictures of women earlier and essentially confirmed I am attracted, but then same thing. It makes me think I am attracted and it feels so real. Sometimes it’s like I just need to frickin give in for some relief. Do you get like a strange feeling in your chest and/or stomach, or groinal responses?

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I never really get groinal responses from men or gay imagery and I take meds so I don’t feel my anxiety symptoms but when I think about coming out or giving in I feel a discomfort in my chest and stomach sort of like god or my mind is stopping me cause truly I’m straight mine make me think the only way to feel relief is to do stuff with a man/come out even though that’s not what I want I used to be super homophobic so everytime I got these thoughts it caused me extreme dis stress and discomfort but ever since my ex gf sister was gay and I got to know her it desensitized me too it so now I kinda wish it didn’t happen and I still was homophobic so these caused me more distress cause sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between my mind and reality it was way easier to do so when I was homophobic almost makes me want to be again

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