I genuinely believe people on here think I’m a lesbian. I think I’m driving myself insane but if people don’t answer my comments but like answer or ask someone else about HOCD I think it’s because they don’t believe I have it

It’s so upsetting

I know, it just feels like I need an answer or I can’t continue on my marriage. It’s like once I get a bit of it I can’t stop and with the feelings Where people say I could be bi I want to cry bc suddenly it feels like that’s more real than feelings for my husband. I know they want to help but yes I’m just overwhelmed with these feelings. I hate how I’m a reassurance addict and I hate how it never ends. I’m so terrified my relationship with my husband is just never going to be good

@wellwellwell I know even people telling me i like men never works because I find reasons why they’re wrong I just can’t stop.

@wellwellwell are you talking about the responses on one of your more recent posts saying you could be bi, asexual, etc? i totally disagree with what that person was saying

@missbluesky I don’t agree with them either but then I remember how hard sex is for me and that I don’t get turned on by abs like “straight women” and suddenly my mind turns to mush. I hate it. I genuinely don’t know what to do, I don’t have therapy until the 15th

@wellwellwell do most straight women get actually aroused from abs? i don’t. fuck, is that bad?

@wellwellwell I definitely agree with missbluesky, those comments did more damage than good. I’ve had to deal with comments like that about how people discovered they were a lesbian and are so happy now and that was beyond triggering for me. Being overtly turned on by men is such a rare and silly thing too, our society sells sex so much that they make it seem like we should be drooling over the opposite sex all the time, which just isn’t realistic. My OCD has been plaguing my sex life with my husband too. Although lately with a new bc pill, it’s been helping along with my ERP. ERP has already started decreasing the thoughts but I know the higher up the ladder I go, the more difficult It will get.

@mallorycg4 I just hate getting reactions from like erotic pics of women but I stg it’s just like from associating them more with sex. I do not think about touching them or anything and ocd has made me so so scared I am. And yeah, it really has. I’m afraid to touch my husband these days but I think I do need to embrace erp if I want it to ever be good. Sex has always been tough bc I’ve always had these fears so I’ve never been okay and relaxed. I want to be so badly.

@missbluesky And no, I mean for all I know they don’t and ocd is just telling me like a real straight woman would be turned on by this!!! To scare me

@wellwellwell Does anyone even relate to what I wrote? I feel like what I posted above is like an obvious lebsian

@wellwellwell I totally get you. Sexual content can cause arousal regardless if whether or not it is something we would actually engage in. ERP has already been really amazing so far. Some days it’s harder than others but it really is making a difference.

@mallorycg4 Ugh I’m so embarrassed to see what I wrote. I know reassurance is bad and I know what to do to get better. Thank you for bearing with me☺️

@wellwellwell We’re here for you! I’m always here if you need to talk! HOCD can be so lonely so it’s always good to have friends going through it too!

@mallorycg4 I’m here too!! We got this