I have yet to find someone who relates to my HOCD struggles. I know we all are unique and this shouldn’t worry me, but the lack of someone else who has experienced some things that I view to be very real evidence has completely upended me. I look for strength and I’ve yet to find it. I stopped erp because of a life altering event during Covid and know I’m lost again. This feels more real (not to discourage or discount anyone else’s struggles!!) than what other people worry about with their HOCD. I feel so alone.

I know but in my case I feel like I have a legitimate reason for concern!! I hate comparing but I genuinely don’t think a straight woman would have my hustiry

@wellwellwell History lmao

@wellwellwell i am almost positive that soooo many people feel the same way that you do— myself included!! at the end of the day, we’re looking for a yes or no answer a question that is so complex. the more time we spend thinking about it and analyzing, it the more significance we give to these thoughts. believe me you’re not alone!!

@Anonymous Thank you. I really really hope I can find some peace but so far none has come.

@wellwellwell 2nd what the previous person said. i too feel like i legitimate concern - which i think is a feeling shared by many of us.

Thank you. I worry because some things I feel like people would think are a sign of lesbianism. I’ve been worrying a lot lately.

Oof didn’t reply to correct thread sorry

@Salmonid That’s okay! And I understand. It’s just that it’s hard because even before ocd I was more aroused by erotic images of women than men since I was a kid but I don’t fancy women or want to be with one. And it’s bugging me. And I’m not aeoused by shirtless men and that just makes me so scared. I’m sorry for venting but I truly feel so incredibly alone and hopeless that I’m just out of it. It just keeps bubbling up to the surface.

@wellwellwell i can relate to what you said! before my ocd hit, i really did not care to figure out what i was because i was/am very happy with my boyfriend . but ocd can make you question things that just don’t matter and it can feel sooo real!!

@Anonymous It really does. I have a husband who I love and before this I liked boys and just didn’t question it. OCD really does make you go crazy

@wellwellwell I just want to eventually have good sex because ocd has ruined it so much thus far. Is your sex life okay, I hate to ask but since you have a similar story I’m wondering if you’ve found happiness in intimacy with your boyfriend

@wellwellwell i thought i would never get my sex drive back but it has come back

@Anonymous I hope it does. I just never liked sex because of this and I’m afraid I never will

@wellwellwell im sorry :( sending u so much strength!!

@Anonymous Thank you!!