missbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
A therapist once told me something very powerful: he said what if I could get you a test today that would prove your sexuality and it came back as gay? Tomorrow you’d be back in here still worried. There is no certainty because ocd hates that. You need play by ocd’s rules and learn to cope with its favorite thing: uncertainty. I have seen many a therapist and told many a person online I don’t want to be gay/proof I’m not/proof I must be. My way isn’t working. But as someone who believes in science, ERP is empirically proven to work. Maybe it’s time we relinquish our tight rein on our compulsive behaviors and try to beat ocd at its own game. The therapist said it’s like playing tennis against ocd. Serena Williams didn’t get good by just showing up. If we want to be the Serena Williams of ocd fighters, we need to practice just as hard at erp. I feel like a hypocrite given how much I’ve sought reassurance, but I want to get better just like I want to see you win against this thing. Our way isn’t working, time to readjust
Carl CornettCarl Cornett
- Date posted
- 4y
You’re struggling with the theme so intensely because you’ve never done response prevention.
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y
i don’t know if that’s true Carl. it might be because I just can’t accept it.
annanoannano
- Date posted
- 4y
If you feel you’re bisexual then maybe go with it and try it out. The only thing that could happen is you confirm or deny your suspicion.
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y
this is super triggering. now you think i’m bi.
Carl CornettCarl Cornett
- Date posted
- 4y
@missbluesky This is your usual response if you don’t get an affirmative that they don’t think you’re bi.
annanoannano
- Date posted
- 4y
@missbluesky Sorry if that was not appropriate to share. I am just wondering if there’s any other option beside exposing yourself to the possibility. The alternative is for someone to tell you that you’re not and like Carl mentioned, no one can decide that for you and that practice will not help you recover from this theme or OCD in general. I’m here if you want to chat!
Gevelyn Gevelyn
- Date posted
- 4y
@missbluesky You tend to post compulsively to look for reassurance, but asking for people’s honest opinions about something only you can truly understand isn’t the best strategy. If someone suggests accepting uncertainty, you naturally assume they think you’re gay or bi - which is the result of the OCD. I think Carl mentioned on one of your earlier posts that someone saying you’re bisexual or lesbian or straight doesn’t actually make it so: which is why someone saying you’re gay doesn’t make you gay and ultimately why reassurance will do nothing to convince or help you. I think @annano was just trying to expose you to the uncertainty, not trying to assume your sexuality. That being said, it’s understandable to feel the need to post compulsively when you’re feeling this anxious and I hope you start to feel better soon. As someone with very little experience with OCD but who’s just come out of an episode of sexual orientation anxiety, I can only reiterate the importance of what Carl says about (self) treatment. I wish you all the best in your recovery process x
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y
@backtogiality thank you all for your responses. @backtogiality, did you suffer from SOOCD? or was it just a sexuality crisis from which you drew a conclusion.
Gevelyn Gevelyn
- Date posted
- 4y
@missbluesky Honestly I can’t say - I did go to the doctors but they didn’t take it far enough for an assessment/diagnosis. I haven’t really had a definitive conclusion but I did have a lot of symptoms for 3 straight months and they’ve subsided for now
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