7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
samanthasamantha
- Date posted
- 4y
Happens to me sometimes. It’s the worst feeling. I just want to be happy with him! OCD sucks. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s more like for me “i know” I’m convinced that my rocd convinced me out of it :/ after a certain situation that i would be okay single and i became happy with being single and thinking about being single, then it turned into dating other people. Idk i get so annoyed trying to fight it.
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m trying my hardest to fight. Believe me it’s hard.
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
@Mandy7710 Its like every time i do something with him and i can be somewhat happy, “reality sets in”
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
@bmurphs87 That’s definitely me right there
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
I still stay even though i know i want too and I’m just anxious about leaving i keep saying either way with the holidays not the right time anyway. See how you feel after. I notice it’s worse when near my period but after my period it’s like i don’t worry about leaving as much even though i know i want too. I’ve become so depressed that i don’t even go to see my mom, call my family, etc. it’s terrible then i feel guilty about that on top of that
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
You’ve said everything I’ve been going through. I don’t interact with my family that much. Too stressful for me.. but sometimes I can kiss him without feel anxious. I was able to make love recently and it was amazing I had thoughts pop in during it though. Which made me lose focus... when I kissed my partner yesterday my tummy felt sick and I had to go take a shower so I can sit and cry bc I was experiencing anxiety... during when I was driving I broke down crying. When I think about how I was in the past I cry saying I wanna feel like that again.... I don’t like how I feel for him now... things just don’t feel the same m... I hate it.... there was one time I got severely depressed and thought about suicide. I don’t wanna break up with him. 😞 I hate this.... I’ve been dealing with it for 8 years but this year it’s bad... for the past 4 months I can see my ocd evolved big times..
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
That’s wonderful 😊 I know I’m not 100% either but I am trying my hardest to be loving. But try to relax and enjoy your evening
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
Idk why i still stay.. there’s gotta be something there that i can’t figure out. I get so Sad thinking about the past all of our good memories. Everything reminds me of how i wanna leave. Every time i get really sad about wanting to leave i run to him and just cry but it’s almost like I’m just doing this for my sake and not his. But there was a time when i went to take a shower, i came back, he was no where to be found. It took me like an hour to realize he went out but his gun wasn’t on the night stand and then i jumped straight out of bed and went looking for him and asked his mom when he was. And i got so scared. So i know i still care even though my thoughts tell me o
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
You still love your partner that much I can clearly tell. I’ve been with my partner for 10 and 1/2 years now. We have a lot in common like figure collecting, drawing and we love the same tv shows. 😊 but there are times where my brains says my partner is boring me... which makes me very upset... 😞 I don’t like the idea of being with someone else... it it very upsetting to me. I test my feeling constantly... 😞
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
No*
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s like with me i know i want to leave that’s what my gut tells me but i stay anyway, why I’m depressed. I don’t get it because i have everything I’ve wanted and now i don’t want it. I have thoughts everyday to stay, or you should stay if you leave you won’t have this, and then other thoughts like ehh it’s okay you know you don’t want him. Idk why i stay and continue to be depressed. All i know is the week of thanksgiving i was good, for like four days. I usually ask him how do i look like. 1-10? 10 being the best, and 6/7 being good. I didn’t ask for 3 days and then i had therapy and it brought up the reality of me not wanting him anymore. But every time i get the feeling that i know i want to leave i run to him and cry and go for his hugs. Then my mind says why you doing this, you know you don’t want him. Like right now I’m about to go downstairs and see him but i also say no don’t your confusing yourself. Idk. It’s just weird. Idk how to get this back because when all i want to do is leave. I know it has something to do with period week. It’s much easier to fight that i want to leave, but the week before my period i have to fight extra hard to stay. I’ve had ocd in my first relationship and its nothing like this that’s why i know it’s not ocd :( meds helped my ocd as a teenager big time and I’ve been on meds all over and nothing is working :/
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve had random small good days... my brain makes me feel a lot. I know I wanna stay. My friend put me through the test with that. But even typing that I feel like I know I am lying.. I have no anxiety I’m just very very numb... I obsess repeating the same thing that I know I love him over and over... I am very tired. My friend says I love him TOO much... she says that we don’t give each other much space and that we need to do things to learn to enjoy time on our own.. but I’ve never been able to truly learn how to do that even before.. I know if I left my partner I would wanna be with him again. Even if my head or whatever I am feeling doesn’t agree.. I cry bc I so badly want things to go back to normal again.... I can say I love you to him but then the back of my mind says as a friend... it bothers me badly.. 😞 I can’t cry bc my brain is super numb. I have no emotion and there are a lot of times I don’t care if something bad happened to my family.. I am not even afraid to die anymore. My partner doesn’t know I almost tried to kill myself. Only my friend knows. I’ve been shopping WAY too much for myself bc due to depression I get to the point I don’t wanna stay in bed and just look on my phone and online shop.
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
When I have my good moments reality hits and I freak out again... my partner is a walking trigger.... 😞
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
😩 i can’t even say i love you anymore, i tend to be happy without him but I’d rather be depressed with him even though when I’m with him I’m like i need to leave but when I’m alone I’m like I’ll be fine but i refuse and i just go be with him. It’s like i go out for rides with him every night, buy shit, get food, just drive around all night until i can relax enough to go to sleep next to him but in the morning it’s the same shit
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
And plus it’s the holidays i definitely don’t wanna leave then. Christmas triggers me cuz i want a Christmas and be happy :(
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
He was supposed to propose to me in January and when i left in August and came back.. the thought of getting married sounds wonderful but not with him. I can’t even see a future but at one point i did that’s why i stay because at one point i wanted him, i know he made me feel good and happy
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
I have a hard time seeing a future for myself. It’s hard for me to see a future with or without my partner. I love my partner a lot I know deep down I wanna be with him. I rather be alone if I am not with him. My friends says that if I didn’t love him like I believe I do I wouldn’t cry over him. She says I cry for one man out of a billon others and that you never cry over the choices you make. I had a happy moment where I can be normal with him and kiss while saying I love you to him. I believe if you truly wanted to leave you would’ve done it already. U love your partner it’s just hard to see it being so deeply depressed. I don’t feel love for even my family
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
I wish we could pm on here :/
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
Sorry it took me so long. I was at work.
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
@Mandy7710 It’s okay no worries. I’m feeling okay tonight. Not 100% but i have my dog here tonight at his house with me and it cheered me up
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
I have a med appointment at 10:15 😩 gonna try to get on meds again for the 4th time
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
Well at least your getting medication. I kept taking my Zoloft on and off. So I don’t think I gave it a chance to work. Medication does help take some stress off
bmurphs87bmurphs87
- Date posted
- 4y
@Mandy7710 I tried lexapro hated it, got off, then went on Prozac, got off. But my friend is on Wellbutrin and she’s doing good on it so I’m gonna ask about it
Related posts
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 24w
scary rocd
Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 18w
Tomorrow is our 2-year anniversary, and I feel absolutely nothing.
It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 14w
would like a response
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
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