- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Happens to me sometimes. It’s the worst feeling. I just want to be happy with him! OCD sucks. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It’s more like for me “i know” I’m convinced that my rocd convinced me out of it :/ after a certain situation that i would be okay single and i became happy with being single and thinking about being single, then it turned into dating other people. Idk i get so annoyed trying to fight it.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’m trying my hardest to fight. Believe me it’s hard.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Mandy7710 Its like every time i do something with him and i can be somewhat happy, “reality sets in”
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@bmurphs87 That’s definitely me right there
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I still stay even though i know i want too and I’m just anxious about leaving i keep saying either way with the holidays not the right time anyway. See how you feel after. I notice it’s worse when near my period but after my period it’s like i don’t worry about leaving as much even though i know i want too. I’ve become so depressed that i don’t even go to see my mom, call my family, etc. it’s terrible then i feel guilty about that on top of that
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You’ve said everything I’ve been going through. I don’t interact with my family that much. Too stressful for me.. but sometimes I can kiss him without feel anxious. I was able to make love recently and it was amazing I had thoughts pop in during it though. Which made me lose focus... when I kissed my partner yesterday my tummy felt sick and I had to go take a shower so I can sit and cry bc I was experiencing anxiety... during when I was driving I broke down crying. When I think about how I was in the past I cry saying I wanna feel like that again.... I don’t like how I feel for him now... things just don’t feel the same m... I hate it.... there was one time I got severely depressed and thought about suicide. I don’t wanna break up with him. 😞 I hate this.... I’ve been dealing with it for 8 years but this year it’s bad... for the past 4 months I can see my ocd evolved big times..
- Date posted
- 4y ago
That’s wonderful 😊 I know I’m not 100% either but I am trying my hardest to be loving. But try to relax and enjoy your evening
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Idk why i still stay.. there’s gotta be something there that i can’t figure out. I get so Sad thinking about the past all of our good memories. Everything reminds me of how i wanna leave. Every time i get really sad about wanting to leave i run to him and just cry but it’s almost like I’m just doing this for my sake and not his. But there was a time when i went to take a shower, i came back, he was no where to be found. It took me like an hour to realize he went out but his gun wasn’t on the night stand and then i jumped straight out of bed and went looking for him and asked his mom when he was. And i got so scared. So i know i still care even though my thoughts tell me o
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You still love your partner that much I can clearly tell. I’ve been with my partner for 10 and 1/2 years now. We have a lot in common like figure collecting, drawing and we love the same tv shows. 😊 but there are times where my brains says my partner is boring me... which makes me very upset... 😞 I don’t like the idea of being with someone else... it it very upsetting to me. I test my feeling constantly... 😞
- Date posted
- 4y ago
No*
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It’s like with me i know i want to leave that’s what my gut tells me but i stay anyway, why I’m depressed. I don’t get it because i have everything I’ve wanted and now i don’t want it. I have thoughts everyday to stay, or you should stay if you leave you won’t have this, and then other thoughts like ehh it’s okay you know you don’t want him. Idk why i stay and continue to be depressed. All i know is the week of thanksgiving i was good, for like four days. I usually ask him how do i look like. 1-10? 10 being the best, and 6/7 being good. I didn’t ask for 3 days and then i had therapy and it brought up the reality of me not wanting him anymore. But every time i get the feeling that i know i want to leave i run to him and cry and go for his hugs. Then my mind says why you doing this, you know you don’t want him. Like right now I’m about to go downstairs and see him but i also say no don’t your confusing yourself. Idk. It’s just weird. Idk how to get this back because when all i want to do is leave. I know it has something to do with period week. It’s much easier to fight that i want to leave, but the week before my period i have to fight extra hard to stay. I’ve had ocd in my first relationship and its nothing like this that’s why i know it’s not ocd :( meds helped my ocd as a teenager big time and I’ve been on meds all over and nothing is working :/
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’ve had random small good days... my brain makes me feel a lot. I know I wanna stay. My friend put me through the test with that. But even typing that I feel like I know I am lying.. I have no anxiety I’m just very very numb... I obsess repeating the same thing that I know I love him over and over... I am very tired. My friend says I love him TOO much... she says that we don’t give each other much space and that we need to do things to learn to enjoy time on our own.. but I’ve never been able to truly learn how to do that even before.. I know if I left my partner I would wanna be with him again. Even if my head or whatever I am feeling doesn’t agree.. I cry bc I so badly want things to go back to normal again.... I can say I love you to him but then the back of my mind says as a friend... it bothers me badly.. 😞 I can’t cry bc my brain is super numb. I have no emotion and there are a lot of times I don’t care if something bad happened to my family.. I am not even afraid to die anymore. My partner doesn’t know I almost tried to kill myself. Only my friend knows. I’ve been shopping WAY too much for myself bc due to depression I get to the point I don’t wanna stay in bed and just look on my phone and online shop.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
When I have my good moments reality hits and I freak out again... my partner is a walking trigger.... 😞
- Date posted
- 4y ago
😩 i can’t even say i love you anymore, i tend to be happy without him but I’d rather be depressed with him even though when I’m with him I’m like i need to leave but when I’m alone I’m like I’ll be fine but i refuse and i just go be with him. It’s like i go out for rides with him every night, buy shit, get food, just drive around all night until i can relax enough to go to sleep next to him but in the morning it’s the same shit
- Date posted
- 4y ago
And plus it’s the holidays i definitely don’t wanna leave then. Christmas triggers me cuz i want a Christmas and be happy :(
- Date posted
- 4y ago
He was supposed to propose to me in January and when i left in August and came back.. the thought of getting married sounds wonderful but not with him. I can’t even see a future but at one point i did that’s why i stay because at one point i wanted him, i know he made me feel good and happy
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have a hard time seeing a future for myself. It’s hard for me to see a future with or without my partner. I love my partner a lot I know deep down I wanna be with him. I rather be alone if I am not with him. My friends says that if I didn’t love him like I believe I do I wouldn’t cry over him. She says I cry for one man out of a billon others and that you never cry over the choices you make. I had a happy moment where I can be normal with him and kiss while saying I love you to him. I believe if you truly wanted to leave you would’ve done it already. U love your partner it’s just hard to see it being so deeply depressed. I don’t feel love for even my family
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I wish we could pm on here :/
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Sorry it took me so long. I was at work.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Mandy7710 It’s okay no worries. I’m feeling okay tonight. Not 100% but i have my dog here tonight at his house with me and it cheered me up
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have a med appointment at 10:15 😩 gonna try to get on meds again for the 4th time
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Well at least your getting medication. I kept taking my Zoloft on and off. So I don’t think I gave it a chance to work. Medication does help take some stress off
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Mandy7710 I tried lexapro hated it, got off, then went on Prozac, got off. But my friend is on Wellbutrin and she’s doing good on it so I’m gonna ask about it
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w ago
I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.
- Date posted
- 16w ago
maybe i dont want to accept the factvthat i lost feelings, maybe i never actually loved my boyfriend and i hust wanted a relationship , i dont want reasurance, but in very scared i dont love him, because it feels real. im scared
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately, like I’m not even living my own life. It’s like I’m being controlled by someone else, and I have no say in what’s happening. It’s hard to put this feeling into words, but it’s like I’m here physically, but mentally, I’m just... not. Every day feels like a struggle. I wake up afraid of what’s coming next, almost like I’m bracing myself for the next bad thing to happen. Sometimes, I don’t even want to get out of bed because it feels pointless, like I’m stuck in this loop of fear and doubt. I keep questioning everything, life, my purpose, my choices, and it’s exhausting. I just want to feel like myself again, to feel like I have control, like I’m really here.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond