I’ve seen so many people, particularly women, who realized they were bisexual through HOCD. Also, I don’t have intrusive thoughts- I never have. It’s more like a paralyzing feeling, followed by rumination, checking, groinals, etc. How the fuck can I have OCD without intrusive thoughts? I really believe that Ive duped everyone into believing I have this illness all because I have horrible internalized homophobia and cannot accept myself. I’ve watched lesbian porn, I’ve masturbated to the thought of a girls body (one time), I used to watch lesbian kissing videos as a kid (along with other sexual videos that I just stumbled on), I worried I had a crush on a girl when I was 11 (before hocd), and this theme has been on and off for me for 7 fucking years. I feel like at first I was just realizing I was bi/gay and couldn’t accept it, so I clung to this label of OCD. here’s the thing though- when I read the first article on HOCD i didn’t feel like everything clicked. it was like, “oh my gosh, I do a lot of these things but not all of them” and then i tried to do MORE of the symptoms (like avoiding gay TV) I think I was just really concerned about figuring out if I was gay or not, but also, when I first imagined sexual scenarios with men and then women, I got the groinal to the female scenarios but not the men. FROM THE BEGINNING. isnt that not hocd??