On video call now with my LDR partner, feeling more disconnected than ever. I can't seem to snap out of it even when I practice some erp. We aint talking I'm just writing on here feeling this really isn't gonna work. Any tips? So lost.

I hear you. But I think too much is too much we do need to understand balance. I am trying my best. I have a therapy assessment tomorrow they do CBT. I'm going to mention this. I seriously hope they are aware with Ocd. I am determined to do the work.

@francine If the amount you’re doing isn’t actually treating your ocd though, and that amount is what you consider balance, you will likely need to redefine that term or find a more useful one that allows you to make progress.

@pureolife I think we also need to understand not one way fits all. Another person's medicine is another person's poison and actually obsessively looking for erp is feeding the cycle. I believe in radical acceptance. I will see what the professionals say tomorrow. When I say balance I say as in combined with others. Also want to mention ROCD is Much much different too other forms of Ocd which is obvious irrational thinking. This is relationships which naturally have doubts and problems. Erp has had some absolute horror stories with rocd clients. It doesn't work for everybody. I think it's arrogant to assume so. But we shall see. Ultimately only we ourselves know what is best for us

@francine ERP is effective in over 80% of patients, regardless of theme. It’s not arrogant, it’s statistics. ERP doesn’t feed the cycle. Obsessing about erp could (ie meta ocd themes, which can also be addressed with erp.) Also, I’ve had ROCD as well as other themes and erp works exactly the same. And when it doesn’t work, it’s generally because it isn’t being done or administered/monitored correctly. I don’t know that we know what’s best for us better than medical professionals who train years to treat our specific disorder. And “radical acceptance” has actually been found to be harmful for many ocd sufferers. I guess we shall see 🤷‍♀️

@pureolife I should have added radical self acceptance of ourselves and how we feel deep down. Erp is important step but I've also heard that when it's locked finding the root fear and accepting it or ourselves if we feel guilt or anxiety or bad or whatever. Who knows though. And many peoples rocd I've found is minor compared to mine such as focusing on looks!!!! And others knowing they love deep down. Others such as myself don't have the attraction one it's more relationship focused and also feeling disconnected from our partner and really not knowing deep down. It's very isolating. I don't know if it's best to avoid. After 3 full months of this without a break, maybe waning but gnawing in the background, I just feel numb and the depression is starting to arrive. The avoidance feels easy or natural since I don't have this 'anxiety or need' to bother anymore. I will ask in the therapist assessment if they deal with OCD though.