Im so done with this. So ive got up this morning. Crying into my pilllow saying i dont want to be gay. But i keep saying sneaky things in my head like i want to be with a man im excited for the future. When in reality im not. I feel like im getting worse 😥

Ive been doing cbt. And have been referd to the mental health team. But i feel like its getting more and more of a grip on me. I hate watching things with attractive men in it because of the thoughts 😞

@Ihateocd83 Have you been working individually? Reading book or listening to podcasts books about intrusive thoughts. I struggle with the same thing bro, but how I’m coping with it is that I’m forcing myself to be used to the thoughts so that it has no effect on me. The main goal for both of us is to get hocd out of us, and the only way to do so is by not caring about homosexuality. If you develop an idc mindset, the thoughts won’t be as intrusive. My main advice is to put time and effort into research and self care. Do research and learn about intrusive thoughts, so that you can learn how to overcome it all. Just note that it’ll take time, so it won’t stop within a day. Work on ideas and solutions for yourself to cope with it. Then practice and practice so you build the strength to be immuned to the thoughts.

You need to let that thought go (it’ll be difficult, but it’s the only way). It’s good to expose yourself with that, but I’d suggest learning how to deal with the thoughts through research. Once you understand and have an idea on how to deal with intrusive thoughts, you doing erp won’t be as difficult anymore. Use what you learned through research to apply it in erp. It’s like practicing how to kick a soccer ball. First you must understand how to properly kick the ball, then you start applying your understanding into practice until you master the skill.

⚠️potential trigger warning ⚠️ I mainly try to teach myself to do anything gay without actually being gay. For example let’s say I’m worrying about if I walk in a feminine way, I’d say “fuck it” and walk in a feminine way. Or if a dude says something gay to me, I’d say something gay back. I’m mainly working on showing myself that doing things like this doesn’t make me anything. Walking in a feminine way doesn’t make me gay. Saying gay things doesn’t make me gay. That’s what I’m basically working on, and it’s kind of difficult to be honest, but it’s what I gotta do if I want to be immuned to hocd. You gotta teach your brain that these thought and actions don’t determine anything about you, and this will allow you to be yourself. ( I’m not cured yet, but I’m getting better in my practice ). For intrusive thoughts, I mainly try my hardest to not care. I try to desude the thoughts through comedy. If I picture a dudes dick, I might laugh at how fucked up it looks. I’d try anything to defuse the anxiety of it. We mainly get gay intrusive thoughts because we are so focused on the “what if I’m gay” and if your focus is on homosexuality, then you will notice yourself getting messed up gay thoughts, but if you don’t care about the “what if” then you will start losing the thoughts because those thoughts lost meaning to you. You gotta put more effort in not caring than to care about the thoughts.

Cheers 🍻

Yeah I get that too. I mainly get verbal thoughts than imagery thoughts.

@🗿 What kind of stuff do you say ?

@Ihateocd83 Random gay thoughts. I don’t really remember them, but it get them. I’m working on not caring about what they mean or say.

@🗿 I find that mine are more verbal like saying stuff in my head

@🗿 And i argue with it. At the moment my mind is telling me i want to be with a man. It feels so real. I find myself getting angry with the thoughts. Sometimes i will shout fuckoff etc

@Ihateocd83 Yeah it happens to me as well, but Usually get bored or too tired and I stop caring too much. I’d say that you should look up on verbal intrusive thoughts and how to deal with them. That way when it happens again, you’ll know how to react.

@🗿 Ok cheers mate