- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve been having distressing thoughts about my sexual orientation and my relationship as of late. It feels like I’ll never feel normal again, and I understand the weird feeling of hoping that it’s OCD because you can’t stand the thought of it being real. I’m really sorry I can’t offer much advice other than if you are able to schedule a first session with a therapist or maybe talk to a member of the nocd peer support group? I set up my first appointment a few days ago and while I still haven’t had it, I am finding some comfort in knowing that I’ll be able to get help for how I feel whether or not it is OCD and that we are not alone here.
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm limited because I was planning on joining the military. On paper it stops you from service
- Date posted
- 4y
I've also been getting disgusting mental images recently along with the thoughts and groinal response.
- Date posted
- 4y
What tricks were you using to decrease the thoughts? Groinals are just another intrusion and you trying to “figure out” exactly what was happening to your body and why is a compulsion that’s only going to fuel more intrusions. Stop mentally reviewing this. Stop physically checking yourself. Lean into uncertainty. “Maybe i was feeling something for the man on screen. Or maybe it was about the woman I was just thinking about. Or maybe it was just a random feeling that meant nothing. I don’t know for sure and I don’t need to.”
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for the advice. I have been trying letting them drift in then out as well as something I think is a unique tactic. I made a few notes, each granting myself permission to help myself get better in different ways. One to ignore the thoughts, one to ignore the groinal response, and one to let myself try cognitive behavioral therapy. They also explain the use of doing what they say. I signed them all and keep them on my shelf. When the OCD is really bad I look at them. I've never heard of anyone else doing this.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nate L When the OCD is bad I also say "Remember the notes"
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nate L Maybe write another one that gives you permission to have the thoughts/feelings and not figure out what they mean?
- Date posted
- 4y
@pureolife It may help. I haven't made any ones for that recently because if they aren't perfect or if I make a writing mistake I worry that I will magically change into what the thoughts say.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nate L Write a note that you don’t have to be perfect. If these have to be perfect, and you’re using them to protect against the thoughts, they’re just another compulsion. They’re not actually helping. Quite the opposite.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
- Date posted
- 15w
Just gonna vent, this never happened to me before during my 20 years alive. Whether it is POCD or not, I have truly lost my sense of self and my innocence. Why of all things did this have to happen. Ive been experiencing more strong groinal responses and mixed feelings of arousal regarding specific thoughts. Its so odd, cause last month none of this happened, it was mainly just anxiety and mental breakdowns. Never did I think I would experience physical sensations as well. Acting on compulsions as well left me feeling absolute confusion, Ive stopped doing that but now I get the urge here and there, and Ive learned to sit with the discomfort. All this leaves me with more questions on whether I will truly get through this or not, or if people will understand my situation. On certain days I feel fine, on other days its sheer terror. I blame myself mainly for this all, It is scary as these images, causing both arousal and terror, only result in me feeling like a shell of my former self
- Date posted
- 15w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
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