Tomorrow at 3pm I have to watch a my video of a lesbian wedding. That's one of my ERP assignments from my therapist. I am posting this so I am somewhat accountable to actual people. I can do it. I've been to pride like 5 times I can watch a wedding. I will do it. I won't do any compulsions. 🙏🏽

I definitely have felt a major drop in anxiety. I was full on having my heart racing and sweating from it last month so.. big improvement.. and that's just doing it on my own from watching YouTube and being on nocd.. with spontaneous situations.. now that I have a therapist helping me and I have to induce the anxiety and obsession it's really damn difficult but much more specific and helpful to the direct points that trigger me. I can totally see how this works long run.. it's just doing it is so scary and painful sometimes.. ya know.. cause you have to purposely get yourself triggered.. but we have to. It's the only way out besides meds. We can do it! :)

@watertilt We can! I totally agree, triggering the thoughts and images is SO hard. Especially resisting compulsions too. I try so hard to ignore any groinals I may get too because otherwise I can spiral pretty quickly. Right now I’m ok with writing trigger words, saying them out loud, and lingerie and bikini photos. So progress! But lesbians kissing still overloads me soooo I’m sticking to the photos until I feel I can graduate.

I get a million thoughts.. some are those.. some are other things.. some are like "if you just tried it you would know for sure" my brain could go on for days... Which is the entire thing of ocd.. so yes I have crazy thoughts and i guess the point of ERP is to be with the thoughts without answering them. So that slowly I have a lesser and lesser reaction to those thoughts each time i encounter them.

@watertilt Okay because I am doing erp for harm ocd toward my pet and I’m just making sure I’m not the only one who gets those thoughts like “ong what if I’m actually harming them.”! Thanks!

@noone800 You got this!