-Trigger warning- I feel like I have more clarity and my hocd is true. I feel like I feel aroused to boobs and enjoy it. How could I feel that if I'm a straight woman? Like if I think of sex or something I feel like I'm aroused by my boobs or the idea of another woman's. My therapist had me do an exposure where I fantasize about sex and I feel like I finally realize I like this. I feel bad because I still haven't followed her advice and I'm compulsing 😥 but this also feels true and like I have no anxiety and finally accepted it 🤦‍♀️

That's what I'm having a hard time doing is reeling in the compulsions. I haven't done this many I can't even remember the last time. I feel like I'm ok with it, but I'm not sure if it's because I've just been doing compulsions the whole time 🤦‍♀️

@reg285 Yeah, something similar happened to me, to the point where it feels like attraction, but my body firmly disagrees (I won’t elaborate any more). I do so many compulsions though. I imagine situations too much in my head and I am just tired now.

Ugh its really hard. Right now I feel like I just have no anxiety about it either but I don't know if that's a trick

@reg285 I don’t really get anxiety about it if it’s in porn or something. I’m more worried I would like it in person

@wellwellwell That's good either way it bothers me and I definitely worry I'd like it in person too

@reg285 I mean I don’t love that it’s a thing for me but whatever

@wellwellwell Do you get crushes on women/not have feelings for men

Okay. See I’ve always been in love with men and wanted to touch them. But it’s hard for you to really know anything at the moment

@wellwellwell That's what I worry about is you feel that, but I worry my feelings just aren't strong enough for men at all. I have a hard time relating to everyone on the boards, because to me what you are going through sound like ocd and so many other people. But, to me mind seems different.

@Bryan I'm sorry you are going through all this too it's really hard. I think alot of it is confusion from the ocd! You aren't alone we are all struggling too here

@Bryan Thank you, that's what I worry will happen with me. Right now I say it's real with a woman (I'm a woman) but really acting it out just doesn't feel right for me still. It's all confusing! Do you have a therapist and have you brought this up to them? You are definitely not the first person to have acted on their feelings to test them. One guy I heard even came out to his whole family hoping it would make it stop and it didn't. When we are suffering it's hard. Try to have compassion for yourself and be kind. Don't worry about anyone judging you as you did nothing wrong! Also there is nothing to forgive yourself for this doesn't define you in anyway. Think of how you'd talk to someone who acted on it out of distress.