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- 4y
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I did the same thing before I found out sexual orientation ocd was a thing. I came out as bi to my mum and my boyfriend a month ago and they didnāt understand where it was coming from, Iāve never seen them so shocked. I explained that it came out of no where and I wasnāt even attracted to any women or could even have a sexual or romantic relationship with them. I felt a relief for about an hour after telling them and then my mind just spiralled again. I donāt think I actually am bi. Iāve always been a straight woman. Iāve been able to kiss my friends that are women when Iām drunk but I could never do anything more than that. I read before that we need 100% reassurance of our sexuality but no one is 100% straight anyway. Their will always be someone that will question our sexuality weāve just got to learn to cope with our intrusive thoughts and the uncertainty that is our sexuality. Do you also experience relationship ocd? I experience both and I hate it.
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No i dont think i suffer with that. It feels like i find men attractive tho. Or is it all in my head i dont know š
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I cant imagine doing anything with a bloke. But then my mind tells me thats what i want and i like penises ?. It disgusts me even writeing that
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I couldnāt imagine doing anything with the same sex either. Itās crazy that our minds are making us doubt our sexuality. My mind seems to spiral about sexuality and then it focuses on my feelings for my boyfriend and if theyāre actually real. Iām sick of my mind needing 100% reassurance on everything, it sucks.
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Have you felt like this for a while or only recently? Mine only started in lockdown as Iām not working.
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Ive had this going on since i was 22. Im 37 now but things are a lot worse at the moment
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Oh wow. Thatās a long time to be dealing with this. Iām sorry itās been that long. Are you in lockdown?
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Yes are you ?
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Yeah I think thatās what caused mine. I was fine before lockdown and then all of a sudden I was getting intrusive thoughts I couldnāt get rid of. I canāt wait for this all to be over. 2020 has just been the worst year.
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@elisha124 Yeah this has literally been the worst year of my life. I feel like my ocd says to me ive always liked men even when i was at school. Which is a load of bollocks because this started at 22 š¤·āāļø
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I feel you man
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Going through the same thing right now, youāre not alone. My OCD came out of nowhere in 2019 when we had just moved and it was hard to find a job so I spent most of my time at home alone while my husband worked. The all of a sudden, one day the āwhat if Iām a lesbian or biā thought popped into my head and itās been astuck ever since. I feel like I was kind of in my own little quarantine due to life circumstances and it definitely contributed to this. Sitting at home alone with our thoughts would probably make anyone go crazy. Iām doing ERP through NOCD right now and Iām currently in a rough patch. But my therapist is so amazing and supportive and Iām definitely not going to give up.
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I feel like giving up. Its like i find guys attractive now but im not sure if its reality. When i think about sex with a man or kissing them it makes me feel uncomfortable
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@Bryan Yes mate. Do have the same problem ?
Related posts
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- 16w
Iāve had hocd for around 11 months now. Itās gotten to the point where Iām just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. Itās just kinda there like yep Iām bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.
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- 12w
Hi everyone, Iāve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe Iām bisexual ā that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, Iāve been spiraling. The thing is: I donāt want this to be true. It scares me. I donāt feel romantic attraction to women, Iāve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women ā and that makes me feel broken or like Iāve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I donāt want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now Iām stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: āWhat if Iām just in denial?ā āWhat if Iām not really straight?ā āWhat if this is why my libido is low?ā Itās exhausting, and I donāt know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split ā romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
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- 11w
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that Iām struggling with right now. Iāve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones Iāve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. Thatās probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because Iāve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Donāt worry I didnāt ādiscoverā this through ocd, Iāve always known and itās been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is āwhat if you are actually a lesbian and donāt know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him onā The thing is, I donāt have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didnāt feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. Iāve always seeked men more actively than women and didnāt feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that Iām in this beautiful relationship Iām terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that Iām actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. Iām not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so Iād be so grateful to know Iām not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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