I’m no longer scared of attraction to women. I’m afraid I’m not attracted to men. I’ve never really enjoyed sex due to intrusive thoughts and fear and pressure. All I want is to enjoy it with my husband and ocd has convinced me otherwise. I just want it so badly and to think it’ll never come upsets me so much.

I. Was so afraid to have sex with my husband. This is making me so afraid that im gay. I feel sexual attraction to men. I don’t know what’s going on. Has this happened to anyone?

So my bf and I did the do tonight (it’s been a while I couldn’t keep my hands off him) but for some reason when we went to actually have sex I was not super wet like I used to be/it hurt when there was penetration. But I wanted it so bad. Like I know I do. I think maybe I’m in my head worrying it’ll hurt so it ends up hurting lol. Idk how to let my body relax it’s been kinda wonky since OCD started and also I’m on birth control (nexplanon, since last October, idk if that changes much tbh.) How do I let myself relax?? We use lube usually but didn’t today cuz it was a quickie Also how do I know if I’m actually enjoying sex with my partner and not just tolerating it? I feel like I’m thinking that instead of actually being there having sex with him. It’s kinda the crux of my ROCD and soocd “if you don’t enjoy it/don’t feel butterflies, you’re gay and don’t love him” sums it up. But it feels great, I feel good. I feel loved and save and turned on when I’m with him and afterwards (when he’s not rushing to leave like today lol) we stay and cuddle and I just feel.. good. Not cuz I did smthn for him but cuz it felt good for me cuz I am with someone who genuinely loves me and cares if I enjoy things yknow? I do love doing things for him but he also makes sure I get my fun too lol. I want to touch him. I want to initiate. Very clearly. Not gay. I’m worried my lack of butterflies during sex means smthn idk why. Help🥲✌️

A while ago, maybe a month and a half, I started getting thoughts that I am gay and in denial. I have no desire to be with a man and NEVER have, but it feels like I am a liar and I am really gay. It is hard to get out of my head, and I just want to say to anyone struggling with this, you are not alone. I have a hard time feeling like my attraction to women is genuine nowadays and I say to myself “What if I end up dating a guy?” And I get non stop thoughts and a groinal response as well. I also have gender dysphoria on top of that so it’s hard to imagine myself with a woman even though in the past I wanted it, but now I feel like I don’t, and eventually I’m gonna just date a guy. I get these compulsions to try things out with a guy and see if I like it but I don’t think I will act on it. I have had no hope and feel like I am genuinely gay now. I hope that I can recover.