I’m going through a difficult situation. I believe or I’m convinced that my right hand is contaminated, probably with Covid. Before I realized that I touched part of my face. Then when the fear and doubt had invaded me I just stood still. Not wanting to move because I could contaminate parts of the house. Three hours later, I’m sitting in my bed with my right arm extended so it doesn’t touch anything. I don’t know what to do. Should I wash my hand or should I refuse?

It is blurred! And you feel uncertain, don’t you? Do what you KNOW health guidelines advise (wash for 20 seconds), not what you THINK you MIGHT need to do. If you feel uncertain, sit with that as OCD exposure. I’m proud of you for waiting for four hours. Has your anxiety lessened at all from when you first started?

@Madison I don’t wash my hands because I know if I do I will end up wasting at least 40 minutes.

@john 2018 Okay, gotcha. What about hand sanitizer? That should only take you 20 seconds as it dissipates quickly.

@Madison I think my anxiety is starting to rise. Now I feel like I contaminated my left hand and because of that my cellphone too. I worry the longer time passes the worst it would get. I’m hungry, my back hurts, I need to go to the bathroom, but I haven’t decided what to do.

@john 2018 You’ve resisted for a long time. I would wash your hands, but try to do it for a lesser amount of time than usual. That will spike your anxiety too but hold out — lessening the time on a compulsion is progress!

@Madison I don’t think I can wash my hands. That would mean for me going down a rabbit hole. It would mean that I was right to worry to begin with and I put myself in harms way. Also I would had to wash the part of my face that I touched with my right hand. And then disenfect my cellphone and the surface it was on. If I decided to wash my hands it would be like opening the dam, I wouldn’t be able to stop the flow of water (my intrusive thoughts).

@john 2018 I know how you feel. I would just do hand sanitizer if you feel you cannot wait any longer. If you possibly can, try to just accept the uncertainty. Maybe your hands are dirty, maybe they aren’t. Maybe they have covid germs, maybe they don’t. Whatever happens, you can deal with it. Try to say that to yourself and move on even if your hand feels dirty, even if it touches things. The anxiety will surge. But you are strong.

You’re not a coward. You resisted a compulsion for four hours! Dang, dude. Hats off to you. 🥳 You should be proud!

@Madison Thank you for your kind words. But where you see bravery my brain tells me is laziness. I truly hate doing compulsions. So I don’t know what is the true reason at the root of my decision to not hand wash.

@Madison Is been nine hours.

@john 2018 I would recommend seeing an OCD specialist, they’ll help you much better than I could!

@Madison I’m seeing an OCD specialist for months now. I guess last night under the pressure of the ocd event I forgot everything I have read and listen. Is not the first time it happens. But I want to Thank You deeply for your support! It helped me a lot you don’t have an idea of how much.

@john 2018 Awww I’m so glad! I hope you’re able to feel better and continue working away on the therapy 💖

Now is been four hours.