missbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y
Madison the ERP NinjaMadison the ...
- Date posted
- 4y
I was 11, almost 12 when I had something that *might* be considered an obsession. It was a concern I would ruminate and overanalyze about for two and half years. I’m not sure if that was OCD, though, or just general anxiety, but I know OCD picked up another concern to obsess about the SAME DAY that I “solved” the obsession (I was 14 then) by talking about it with my parents so it very well could have turned into OCD because my morality concerns didn’t stop there. Also sorry, I know you probably wanted to hear from someone else who is completely sure their OCD started at 12 XD I just didn’t wanna ignore your post
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y
that’s okay! thanks for your reply. I think I’m just worried because most people realize they’re gay at 12, and that’s when this obsession started.
Madison the ERP NinjaMadison the ...
- Date posted
- 4y
@missbluesky Sounds like OCD is desperately trying to figure out “is this OCD or am I really gay”... hmm... sounds like you’re doing a compulsion 👀
hyperactivebrainhyperactiveb...
- Date posted
- 4y
Not sure. There was a time when I was 13 or 14 when I was really worried and scared that I might be gay. My sister came out when I was 13 and ever since I remember being very watchful and worried that I might be gay too.. It was not because my sister had a bad experience, everyone accepted and even embraced her. I liked her community And friends as well, because it was so interesting so meet so many liberal people. I just didn't want to be gay myself. But I suppose a lot of people don't want to be gay when they first experience some thoughts about it. And I think some questioning is normal at that age too... I don't think it was OCD back then but sexual orientation was definitely a topic that was scary for me, maybe that is why it now became such a powerful theme... of course now the fact that I used to think about this as a teen haunts me as proof of it being truee
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y
didn’t you just comment somewhere else that you’re bi?
hyperactivebrainhyperactiveb...
- Date posted
- 4y
@missbluesky I said that I might be but I am not sure. If I try to figure it out I end up ruminating so I decided to accept that I could be and just don't know for sure
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y
@Shoeshifter do you mean like you might be in the sense that we all might be bi, or do you genuinely feel like that? i’m just confused, sorry.
hyperactivebrainhyperactiveb...
- Date posted
- 4y
@missbluesky I am sorry if I have confused you. The problem is I guess that we all struggle how to label our feelings/fears? I never had sexual feelings/fantasies about girls but I always admired female celebrities or older girls I thought were pretty and nice. I wanted to be like them but also wanted them to like me and be friends with them. My anxiety/OCD made me obsess about if that means that I was in love with them and too scared to admit it. I cannot tell you for sure if that means that I am bisexual because I just don't know. And I concluded that I don't have to know because I love my boyfriend and don't want an actual experience with a woman. That doesn't mean that I might never fall in love with a woman someday. Maybe I will maybe not, it is scary not to know but accepting uncertainty is the only way to get better.
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