- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I need a friend for this reason. I have a false memory that I touched a child inappropriately and I am considering suicide because I can't stop feeling guilty and doubtful. I have images in my head and I don't know if they are real
- Date posted
- 4y
While it’s difficult to have OCD, having it alone is not a good reason for not having children. Irrespective of your theme. No matter how hard we try, avoiding the things that trigger our thoughts doesn’t work. If it did, people with OCD would be cured the moment they weren’t around something that triggered them. The best course of action is active participation in treatment.
- Date posted
- 4y
It was not my child, it was a friend's little sister. I don't think we were ever alone but I have so many fucking "what if" in my head that I no longer know what happened. I know two things: the child loved me and to this day she still talks amazing about me and I don't remember being afraid of going to jail (being found out).
- Date posted
- 4y
And I wasn't telling you to turn yourself in I just was telling you to bring her in to get checked if she was your daughter I'm not for telling anybody to turn themselves in especially if they're sorry for what they did but I just believe that it's more important to protect the child. I'm sure you didn't harm that girl. I'm sure that's probably pocd. if I were in your shoes I would probably just avoid being alone with kids all together but that's my pdoc talking and I'm new to this so I'm probably not the best at giving advice right now
- Date posted
- 4y
Don't worry. I avoid kids at all cost. I want kids of my own but... I can't... It sucks to be restricted from it
- Date posted
- 4y
I know same here and the worst part is I have a child and I can't even be a mom to him. I physically abused him in the past due to drugs and alcohol which I have gotten clean from but now I'm afraid that I may sexually abuse him and even though I have no desire to the fear of it alone just keeps me from getting custody of him they have tried to give him back to me on multiple times but I have told the case worker I don't know why but I feel like I may sexually abuse him. And she always tells me that I'm sabotaging myself to be a mom. And when I started looking it up I found out what I have is pocd. I'm just so afraid to get him back and then actually hurt him I don't want to and I know it sounds crazy why would you do something that you don't want to do but I just don't want to take a risk but I also don't want to be afraid to be around kids all together but I feel like a bad person. but maybe by the end of this course I will be able to get some help but I feel so gross just for even having the thoughts like I don't even have thoughts of hurting him I just have fears or like a fear of hurting him I don't have thoughts of doing it but I have a fear that I might do it
- Date posted
- 4y
My ocdstory maybe at the end of this recovery well feel better and maybe we'll actually get to be parents good parents
- Date posted
- 4y
I just feel like I am high risk to hurt my son because I've already physically abused him before but at the time even though I was abusing drugs and alcohol and I have gotten clean I just feel like I'm still a bad parent
- Date posted
- 4y
I understand completely... Pocd is hell on earth.
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes it is
- Date posted
- 4y
Myocdstory if you ever need a friend I'm here
- Date posted
- 4y
I don't judge and I know this is hard. Don't take your life. I don't really have a job right now so I'm available most of the time. Feel free I measagee anytime
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you. I'd love to chat with someone
- Date posted
- 4y
I gotcha girl. Here whenever you need to cat
- Date posted
- 4y
chat
- Date posted
- 4y
I'd love that
- Date posted
- 4y
@ayo1 I'm the same thing.... I hate myself
- Date posted
- 4y
@myocdstory Feel free to reply to me anytime sweetie
- Date posted
- 4y
@ayo1 Thank you.... I'm so afraid I touched a child inappropriately and I feel like crying. Not only that, I have also another false memory that I masturb-thinking about her. I want to die...
- Date posted
- 4y
@myocdstory I am worried that I might have had sexual intercourse with a cat at moment
- Date posted
- 4y
@I don’t like ocd I have a false memory similar às well! But with my pets! :(
- Date posted
- 4y
@myocdstory Like how do I even know it’s false
- Date posted
- 4y
@I don’t like ocd My therapist said "if you doubt it and don't actually remember, it's a big help to recognize that it's indeed false" I use other strategies too. For example, I don't remember feeling guilty or even remembering the event later on. I'm a virgin and if I had sexual intercourse, I'd think that I had lost to an animal. (I'm saving for someone special). I'm a girl so I don't even know what to do with a animal. I'd have been crazy worried about whether or not I caught a disease from my pets. I'd have had their hair on my public area. I don't even remember having any sexual intentions of doing nor I have ever fantasized about my pets. Etc
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?
- Harm OCD
- POCD
- Students with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Date posted
- 22w
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
- Date posted
- 21w
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond